Date set, before 8th of Jan

[forum user JJ 23/34]

Called suicide helpline this morning, they asked when my date was and how I planned to do it???. first off this pissed me off alot as I felt this would be extremely triggering to someone more in danger than me.
But i said before the 8th of January. This is my birthday. Said I hope to swallow a whole bottle of N and die peacefully. I also saw this drug #4 on https://how-to-kill-yourself.com/, maybe that.

Either way Im going to start making my plans now, I don't see much reason to carry on. I'm maybe thinking a motorcycle accident or "slip" from a mountain so its easier for my family to bare.
Attempted this morning, chilling the afternoon with family next me typing this pretending everything is ok lmao

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I think this fits more in the Suicide Discussion. But anyway, yes crisis hotlines are BS most of the time. But really a motorcycle accident may not be deadly rather you may end up severely injured and in the worst case paralyzed. Falling off a steep mountain is more reliable but still might be painful and has higher failing potential than other methods. I hope you can find peace!

 

[forum user JJ 23/34]

I think this fits more in the Suicide Discussion. But anyway, yes crisis hotlines are BS most of the time. But really a motorcycle accident may not be deadly rather you may end up severely injured and in the worst case paralyzed. Falling off a steep mountain is more reliable but still might be painful and has higher failing potential than other methods. I hope you can find peace!

I put it here because I really don't want to die. I just dont wan't to carry on in my now ruined life.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I put it here because I really don't want to die. I just dont wan't to carry on in my now ruined life.

No problem!!! I can relate to you with actually not wanting to die but also not wanting to carry on with life in the same time. It's very similar here.

 

[forum user JJ 23/34]

No problem!!! I can relate to you with actually not wanting to die but also not wanting to carry on with life in the same time. It's very similar here.

Do you have any advice? I've been casually (not seriously) OCD suicidal whole life but only serious considered it recently. I'm scared. I feel if I had worked harder I wouldn't be suicidal right now.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry I may not have an advice for you as I do not have "mental illness" like OCD and others, at least not diagnosed. My personal problem is probably completely different to yours but obviously the result is the same, suicidal thoughts and actual plans. You would need to know what's causing it to have an anchor point that could be treated and changed.

I don't mind me having suicidal thoughts and actual plans (I'm ready with my method, just needed to go ahead, defeating SI and not being worried about loved ones and so on) because to me it was always clear that under certain life circumstances CTB is a legal option that I would take.

I wouldn't have suicidal thoughts if I found fulfilling tasks that also work financially for me according to my personal expectations. But that seems to be impossible for me.

 

[forum user JJ 23/34]

Hi. Although I don't know your circumstances, as this the recovery channel, and although you may not want to hear it, I hope you stay with us, just as I hope the same for anyone.

I also have spent around a year in severe physical pain which I thought would never go away. I was on the track and hockey teams and now could not run. However do not give up hope, you can find a solution as long as you put work in to find out about whatever it is.

What kind of tasks are you into? Although I'm still young, I've done crappy jobs like polishing glasses 1000s of glasses for 10 hours and found I could also enjoy them if I just shut off my mind and had someone to do it with.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you stay with us, just as I hope the same for anyone.

Thanks. Yes indeed, SaSu keeps mit a bit alive for the moment!

What kind of tasks are you into? Although I'm still young, I've done crappy jobs like polishing glasses 1000s of glasses for 10 hours and found I could also enjoy them if I just shut off my mind and had someone to do it with.

I wish for a new business idea, I never ever worked in a 9-5 slavery and I really reached a lot but due to failure everything declined since years. And there's the point, as you say you're young, I'm in the middle ages of a regular life time and I have seen and done a lot of things in my life time already. I really prefere to die than to "clean glasses" .... I'm not doing everything just to keep me alive in a life I don't want to live any more according to my personal expectations.