Method Dark desires

[Jiva]

I must constantly thinking about i want commit a suicide by hanging. Why it tempts me so much? Am i crazy?

 

[OkTotti]

You're asking this question on this site? Half the people on here want to commit suicide by hanging...

 

[Jiva]

Yes. But why must i thinking about it constantly? Why do i think it is tempting?

 

[Fucking loving it]

I do too. I'm obsessed.

 

[Retched]

I feel like hanging all the time. I have a scarf noose up in my closet and even today I went and stood there and tested it to make sure it would hold my body weight. I am so glad there are others who think about it as obsessively as I do.

 

[BangBangBang]

I actually respect you all here. I wouldn't be able to ctb by hanging. I'm to much of a bitch :)

 

[Miss clefable]

Yes I strangle myself a lot

 

[Chinaski]

I feel like hanging all the time. I have a scarf noose up in my closet and even today I went and stood there and tested it to make sure it would hold my body weight. I am so glad there are others who think about it as obsessively as I do.

When l was younger and not at all focused on ctb l still found this to be my brain's default position if inactive.

Day off work with nothing to do? Hang yourself.

Raining outside? Hang yourself.

Fuck all on tv? Hang yourself.

I tried speaking about this to others, all l got was blank looks. My GP shrugged. As I've gotten older I've realised l probably should've listened to this internal voice, tbh.

 

[Jiva]

I feel like hanging all the time. I have a scarf noose up in my closet and even today I went and stood there and tested it to make sure it would hold my body weight. I am so glad there are others who think about it as obsessively as I do.

Yes. If i see a rope in a shop, my first thought is can i use it for my weight. And result? Already i bought three thick solid ropes.

 

[Retched]

When l was younger and not at all focused on ctb l still found this to be my brain's default position if inactive.

Day off work with nothing to do? Hang yourself.

Raining outside? Hang yourself.

Fuck all on tv? Hang yourself.

I tried speaking about this to others, all l got was blank looks. My GP shrugged. As I've gotten older I've realised l probably should've listened to this internal voice, tbh.

No blank look here...totally get it. Though mine is more of a constant stream running through my head...

 

[worldexploder]

You are not crazy at all. In 2016 I tried hanging from extension cords. I tied them to the rafter in my basement. Then I got very drunk thinking it would reduce my panic response. Then I put the cord around my neck and tried hanging myself. Didn't work! It felt like my head was painfully expanding outwards then I sorta blacked out. Next thing I knew I was throwing the noose off instinctively - like i had no control over my actions.i tried again and again and again that night until I gave up.

The next day I woke up with a sore throat and a painful neck.I went upstairs and looked in the mirror...to my shock I had busted capillaries from the top of my forehead to my chin. Oddly no busted capillaries on my neck. Just a red streak. I tried to pass it off as a rash. Took a week for it all to go away.

A couple weeks ago I was experimenting with a rig thinking maybe I went about everything the wrong way. Well no matter what position I tried, everything still hurt the same. I worked for hours that evening. It only left me with a sore neck and disappointment.

What is crazy is that we live in a society were natalism is accepted but the right to die isn't.

 

[Chinaski]

No blank look here...totally get it. Though mine is more of a constant stream running through my head...

Same now, but back then l was supposedly young, appealing, promising, essentially happy, and still the thought of hanging would just pop into my head. After sex, in the shower, whatever. Presumably there's a diagnosis for this now, l don't know. Then again, I've always been a miserable bastard, so...

 

[worldexploder]

Yes. But why must i thinking about it constantly? Why do i think it is tempting?

Maybe you're thinking about it because all the tools at your house are avalible to you. It can be tempting I must admit. For me personally the desire didn't match the reality of how painful it is. I blame all these pro-life fucks for taking away our universal right to die. If methods like Nembutal or Nitrogen were at the ready we wouldn't have to face all this shit.

 

[Jiva]

Also i love preparation of the noose and i'm standing in the tightened noose on the edge of fall. But i have fear from the last step. It stopped me always.

 

[OkTotti]

Also i love preparation of the noose and i'm standing in the tightened noose on the edge of fall. But i have fear from the last step. It stopped me always.

This happens to a lot of people on here, hanging failures. The survival instincts sucks like a bitch

 

[Jen Erik]

Yes. If i see a rope in a shop, my first thought is can i use it for my weight.

Relatable. I'm that way with ligature points. I'm constantly looking around every time I leave my apartment to go outside, wondering, "can I tie a rope here? Will it support me hanging?"

 

[Jiva]

This happens to a lot of people on here, hanging failures. The survival instincts sucks like a bitch

I have a idea to use handcuffs without a key behind the back. It isn't so scary at first and it stops all escapes.

 

[Iwant2sleepforever]

I think about killing myself at least every hour of the day. Ain't nothing weird about it.

 

[Jiva]

Yes

 

[GeorgeEastman]

I used to think hanging was awful, but now I think it's all right.

Hell, at this point I even think about carving myself up with a damn knife.

 

[Chinaski]

I used to think hanging was awful, but now I think it's all right.

Hell, at this point I even think about carving myself up with a damn knife.

Yeah. I've moved on to trains and suspension bridges when absently daysreaming, which is not something I'd generally encourage.

 

[OkTotti]

i look at tall buildings in my area, and think of somehow getting up to the roof or apartment or hotel room and jumping....

 

[Virgo]

Because it seems easy and you want to fucking die.

 

[Jiva]

Sometimes i have much more dark thoughts. For example, sometimes i want to someone watch my suicide and has fun.

 

[furax53]

I look at all the bridges or buildings ah side of my home but the instinct of survival holds me back every time and I even think ah to throw me from the 4th floor of the apartment of my ex

 

[Cyanide]

I guess even I'm obsessed with suicide, especially hanging and sodium nitrite. Every 10 minutes I'd be thinking about killing myself and visualizing it. Whenever I go to a new place (hotels, malls, someone else's home etc.) the first thing I'd look for are suitable ligature points. I can't stop talking to my (suicidal, depressed) friends about SN. Every fucking day I feel like taking a box cutter and slashing it across my wrists, not for CTB but to see the blood and feel the pain. Sometimes I just feel so fed up and angry with this world and people that I might end up causing harm to others (I'll try my best not to though). It doesn't even matter if I feel numb, melancholic or even ecstatic, the first thing I'll think about is to CTB. Whenever I go in a plane I always hope that the cabin has a lack of oxygen, dying by hypoxia is the absolute best (contrary to what the manual says, I'd rather help someone else wear the mask). Even though I don't really plan to jump, it seems like a great proposition. IMO there's something about jumping from a tall building, looking at the city lights at late night that just feels so... romantic I guess.

P.S. I tried hanging once, didn't compress the carotid and ended up feeling like my face was gonna explode, later my cousin also ratted me out.

 

[ugly_loser2008]

I've also finding myself looking around sometiems and just thinking wow thats a great place to hang myself. sometimes at work will be cleaning and look for places i would hang myself from though i wouldnt ever do it there. ive had the hardware experience too where i see some rope and just think of killing myself. sometiems when i drive by cemeteries i catch myself feeling better knowing that no matter how shitty this day is at least one day ill be at rest.

 

[YukiFox]

You are not the only one with the same desire. I imagine myself a lot full hanged (And not for Autoerotic purposes, just for dying). It´s a dark one, I read a lot about the topic of how hanging works.

 

[ReadyasEver]

I now believe the societal restraints put on us were complete BS. It's OK to want to die. You have your reasons. It's your personal choice on how you led your life, it's your personal choice on how to die.

 

[15dec]

You're not crazy. Nowadays it's all I can think about -how I can leave quickly, painlessly. How to lessen the impact of my death on my loved ones. Especially when something shitty happens to me -I just think how it doesn't matter because I'll ctb soon.