Venting Dammit Bangkok!

[BipolarExpat]

Outta the Saudi frying pan & into the Thai fire.

Hi folks. Long time no sign in for me.

(I apologize to any Private messagers I did not reply to. It freaks me out a bit, making new friends when I want out so desperately). I was going thru a particularly crushing time when a few reached out,...I just shut down, signed out and lurked. (I certainly noticed Liverpool Fan). ;)

Anyways, I've lived in both Saudi and Thailand (off n on) for decades as a teacher.

Have been both suicidal and fully manic in both locales too,...quite a number of times.

I booked this particular hotel (based on google pics) thinking it might (just might) provide a way out....

Truly, I figured it'd be high enough but lack outdoor access, well,....I'm 14 floors high and it appears easy(ish) to exit off the balcony AND not land on anything (or one) but pavement.

Actually, (and I should've known this but still felt like I had to reconfirm it again) Bkk holds a plethora of jump spots (like most big cities do). Access could be at a late night construction / building site (bribe the sleepy security guy) or simply go "condo shopping."

Not that it's very rare in Pattaya/Bkk, but this was recent:

Foreign man dies after falling from Pattaya condo

Foreign man dies after falling from Pattaya condo Picture: Manager An unidentified foreign man has died after falling from the 11th floor of a condominium in Pattaya. Rescue workers were called to View Talay 6 Condo just after 6pm on Wednesday after staff reported that a man had died. Staff said ...

forum.thaivisa.com

It's just leaving the Arabian dunes (despise my job there, tho it pays) after 4-5 months of paralyzing depression/anxiety to arrive back in T-land (aka: LOS 'Land of Smiles') where many kind folks are goofy / happy / silly (I speak a bit of Thai) as expected...I've probably contracted a little case of hypomania.

I still have the same problems. My well-paying (painful) gig in Saudi will still require years to cancel all the debt I created (2018 manic phase), my molars are getting rotted (crap dental plan), I'm looking at 50 and a destitute future, I can barely reach out to anyone, my depression/anxiety is destroying my overall health through dehydration, horrible, repetitive diet w/ zero exercise. My body has constant itches, (never feel clean), blood rushes in the face, no relief, nothing feels good, etc. etc.

Well, speaking Thai to pleasant Thai people feels good - but I know that doesn't last forever.

One (among many) shit things about Saudi = The Saudis take nosiness to a new level. Every conversation centers around personal questions, plans, history, etc. My (mostly) American colleagues are no different. Talk about uncomfortable! I gotta avoid the teacher's rooms because it's all personal questions(!) Then I look like a snob or a flake or whatever...grrrr!!

This vaca is only supposed to be for 2 weeks....I dunno.

I just dunno.

Thanks for listening to my vent.

So, I'll probably just go north (to the sticks) tomorrow and see my wife for a week or more (as planned), but I am earmarking this "spot"

in case I need it another time.

 

[Ready124]

Outta the Saudi frying pan & into the Thai fire.

Hi folks. Long time no sign in for me.

(I apologize to any Private messagers I did not reply to. It freaks me out a bit, making new friends when I want out so desperately). I was going thru a particularly crushing time when a few reached out,...I just shut down, signed out and lurked. (I certainly noticed Liverpool Fan). ;)

Anyways, I've lived in both Saudi and Thailand (off n on) for decades as a teacher.

Have been both suicidal and fully manic in both locales too,...quite a number of times.

I booked this particular hotel (based on google pics) thinking it might (just might) provide a way out....

Truly, I figured it'd be high enough but lack outdoor access, well,....I'm 14 floors high and it appears easy(ish) to exit off the balcony AND not land on anything (or one) but pavement.

Actually, (and I should've known this but still felt like I had to reconfirm it again) Bkk holds a plethora of jump spots (like most big cities do). Access could be at a late night construction / building site (bribe the sleepy security guy) or simply go "condo shopping."

Not that it's very rare in Pattaya/Bkk, but this was recent:

Foreign man dies after falling from Pattaya condo

Foreign man dies after falling from Pattaya condo Picture: Manager An unidentified foreign man has died after falling from the 11th floor of a condominium in Pattaya. Rescue workers were called to View Talay 6 Condo just after 6pm on Wednesday after staff reported that a man had died. Staff said ...

forum.thaivisa.com

It's just leaving the Arabian dunes (despise my job there, tho it pays) after 4-5 months of paralyzing depression/anxiety to arrive back in T-land (aka: LOS 'Land of Smiles') where many kind folks are goofy / happy / silly (I speak a bit of Thai) as expected...I've probably contracted a little case of hypomania.

I still have the same problems. My well-paying (painful) gig in Saudi will still require years to cancel all the debt I created (2018 manic phase), my molars are getting rotted (crap dental plan), I'm looking at 50 and a destitute future, I can barely reach out to anyone, my depression/anxiety is destroying my overall health through dehydration, horrible, repetitive diet w/ zero exercise. My body has constant itches, (never feel clean), blood rushes in the face, no relief, nothing feels good, etc. etc.

Well, speaking Thai to pleasant Thai people feels good - but I know that doesn't last forever.

One (among many) shit things about Saudi = The Saudis take nosiness to a new level. Every conversation centers around personal questions, plans, history, etc. My (mostly) American colleagues are no different. Talk about uncomfortable! I gotta avoid the teacher's rooms because it's all personal questions(!) Then I look like a snob or a flake or whatever...grrrr!!

This vaca is only supposed to be for 2 weeks....I dunno.

I just dunno.

Thanks for listening to my vent.

So, I'll probably just go north (to the sticks) tomorrow and see my wife for a week or more (as planned), but I am earmarking this "spot"View attachment 14398

in case I need it another time.

I wish you all the best. Hope you find your peace either way. Just that picture makes my legs go to jelly haha I cannot do heights

 

[BipolarExpat]

Yeah. I don't even have a method, really. Lots of hanging spots (outdoors) as well, tho it is a populous place...

 

[Deivis]

Pattaya has tons of high-rise buildings with rooftop doors wide open. But seems that you're still undecided.
Why wouldnt you buy a tank of Nitro and do it calmly?

 

[BipolarExpat]

Pattaya has tons of high-rise buildings with rooftop doors wide open. But seems that you're still undecided.
Why wouldnt you buy a tank of Nitro and do it calmly?

Hmm Rarely alone for long when I'm here....but, I suppose that could be arranged without too much fuss.
Would be a better way in terms of the affect on others.

Foreign Couple Suicide in Hotel - Chiang Mai Citylife CityNews

A foreign couple committed suicide in a hotel using helium gas.

www.chiangmaicitylife.com

I used to be a volunteer EMT in Bangkok (+ Khao Lak/Phuket) after the 2004 tsunami. I should be more sensitive to others.

Yeah that's... pretty scary

 

[memento_mori]

yup a few Saudis have told me their people are quite nosy but they are mostly a nice and friendly bunch.
there's this hotel in Malaysia that's quite famous for a lot of people jumping and is rumored to be haunted, didn't know Pattaya had tall buildings.

 

[BipolarExpat]

yup a few Saudis have told me their people are quite nosy but they are mostly a nice and friendly bunch.
there's this hotel in Malaysia that's quite famous for a lot of people jumping and is rumored to be haunted, didn't know Pattaya had tall buildings.

They are generally wholesome people...They're just normal, interested, curious.

Didn't know about the Malay hotel. Is that Kuala Lumpor or Penang or...?

Pattaya not only has tall condos/hotels but a startling rate of jumpers - no doubt due to its huge red light district. Many a man's life savings get lost there.

2 different men jumped inside the Central Festival Mall in Patts, recently(!)

Another in Terminal 21 in Bangkok. In front of ALL those shoppers...and kids :(

 

[The Mute Viking]

Thanks for the update, my dude.

That looks like quite the spot to leap from. I hope you find either a reason to keep going or the courage/will to take your life in your hands.

Much love.

 

[GeorgeJL]

Outta the Saudi frying pan & into the Thai fire.

Hi folks. Long time no sign in for me.

(I apologize to any Private messagers I did not reply to. It freaks me out a bit, making new friends when I want out so desperately). I was going thru a particularly crushing time when a few reached out,...I just shut down, signed out and lurked. (I certainly noticed Liverpool Fan). ;)

Anyways, I've lived in both Saudi and Thailand (off n on) for decades as a teacher.

Have been both suicidal and fully manic in both locales too,...quite a number of times.

I booked this particular hotel (based on google pics) thinking it might (just might) provide a way out....

Truly, I figured it'd be high enough but lack outdoor access, well,....I'm 14 floors high and it appears easy(ish) to exit off the balcony AND not land on anything (or one) but pavement.

Actually, (and I should've known this but still felt like I had to reconfirm it again) Bkk holds a plethora of jump spots (like most big cities do). Access could be at a late night construction / building site (bribe the sleepy security guy) or simply go "condo shopping."

Not that it's very rare in Pattaya/Bkk, but this was recent:

Foreign man dies after falling from Pattaya condo

Foreign man dies after falling from Pattaya condo Picture: Manager An unidentified foreign man has died after falling from the 11th floor of a condominium in Pattaya. Rescue workers were called to View Talay 6 Condo just after 6pm on Wednesday after staff reported that a man had died. Staff said ...

forum.thaivisa.com

It's just leaving the Arabian dunes (despise my job there, tho it pays) after 4-5 months of paralyzing depression/anxiety to arrive back in T-land (aka: LOS 'Land of Smiles') where many kind folks are goofy / happy / silly (I speak a bit of Thai) as expected...I've probably contracted a little case of hypomania.

I still have the same problems. My well-paying (painful) gig in Saudi will still require years to cancel all the debt I created (2018 manic phase), my molars are getting rotted (crap dental plan), I'm looking at 50 and a destitute future, I can barely reach out to anyone, my depression/anxiety is destroying my overall health through dehydration, horrible, repetitive diet w/ zero exercise. My body has constant itches, (never feel clean), blood rushes in the face, no relief, nothing feels good, etc. etc.

Well, speaking Thai to pleasant Thai people feels good - but I know that doesn't last forever.

One (among many) shit things about Saudi = The Saudis take nosiness to a new level. Every conversation centers around personal questions, plans, history, etc. My (mostly) American colleagues are no different. Talk about uncomfortable! I gotta avoid the teacher's rooms because it's all personal questions(!) Then I look like a snob or a flake or whatever...grrrr!!

This vaca is only supposed to be for 2 weeks....I dunno.

I just dunno.

Thanks for listening to my vent.

So, I'll probably just go north (to the sticks) tomorrow and see my wife for a week or more (as planned), but I am earmarking this "spot"View attachment 14398

in case I need it another time.

If your going to go out at least do it with some dignity. Looks like a very painful splatter on the cement.

 

[memento_mori]

didn't know about the Malay hotel. Is that Kuala Lumpor or Penang or...?

in genting, there are casinos there so ..
I've been to terminal 21, wow, doing that in public is not only traumatic for the onlookers, the person might be stopped before they leap over the railing.
Jumping is quite common where I am but that's not really the way I want to go, plus the roof of my building is closed off since some drunk idiots decided to parkour there ...