Venting Dam suck between life and death

[Mort]

I really hate my self i cant even look in mirrors anymore i have not shave for weeks as it means looking into a mirror :( . So i should end it all but to shit scared to die and to chicken shit to live. What the hell am i ment to do ???? I no longer trust any one these days especially any on in a perfesernol roll like doctors dentist's or the folks at the job center . I dam well know the doctors and dentists are given me the short end of the sitck as i am out of work no fault of my own. Why you ask it is i am entitled to free treatment but it not like i never work in my life i got 25 years of work behind me. The dentist definitely dont like it they way they look at you pisses me off but if i day any thing i would get kicked out and then i have no dentist. The doctors are trying to get me of my painkillers as i get them free at the moment it not for my health it because I am costing them about 30 quid a month in free prescription . I am just so fed up have to fight for every little thing dont you think i earn a little sum thi g by now :( . My problem is i am a white Male in his late 40s and sad to say living at home with his folks. So that means i am at the bottom of the pile when it comes to financial help. I am just so sodding tied all the time not slept properly for months and months doctors tell me I need to relax and be calm and i be ok LOL what a joke. All they now trying to convince me most of my pain is in my head and its not as bad as i think it is but they won't send me to hospital to make shore no that cost money . I had it but even being this bad i cant summon up the neve to CTB what it going to take. May if i poison myself slowly can kill of a few internal organs sum are half way they all ready so may be just may be never know . Any way sorry for the long story was not going to be this long but just got going and could not stop LOL :)

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

So sorry for what you are going through. I totally understand how you feel. I've had to work mostly shit jobs all my life and I've had enough.
I don't recommend trying to self poison slowly... but that is just me. There is a Resource Section that you can do some research if you decide to go through with it. Don't do anything rash and think it through to make sure it's what you truly want.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resource-compilation.3/