If I'm understanding correctly, you're asking if cutting occasionally means that you're recovery from cutting is all messed up/ruined? If that's what you mean, then I'll say I don't think so at all! I started cutting when I was a kid and worked really hard at getting clean. Even so, throughout my adult life I haven't managed more than a year without cutting. I still consider myself recovered and I'm pretty happy with it. It's an unfortunate coping mechanism but it's a coping mechanism nonetheless. Since I started so young, it's just very engrained in my brain. I've learned (and am still learning) to forgive myself for it. It's my go-to when things get really bad but at least these days really bad isn't usually where I'm at.