cutting arteries in the toilet

[MariV]

i know its really drastic but i have no other way to do it as i cant leave home.
i dont care about the pain. my concern is not shouting and being sure that it works quick. which would be the best one? wrists? femoral? carotid? i dont have a bathhub.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

What happened to your SN?

 

[Stopmylife]

I saw your posts I know you are suffering I am sorry.
Don't hurt yourself. It is very hard to die by cutting yourself.
I thought you would use sn or morphine?
i use google translator not speaking english for that i don't speak much or see. I read you a lot and understand that you are at the end of the line. Don't hurt yourself even more.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'll go over this if you need friend but you won't like most of it. Are you sure you zero other options? This isn't reliable and takes anatomy knowledge, pretty high pain tolerance, as well as a very sharp blade.

 

[MariV]

i have SN at home. i have it there and my mother knows. she once even said she would leave the flat while i take the SN.but when i tell her to do it, then she doesnt want anymore. she seldom leaves the flat and SN takes some time to kill.
any idea? i know its horrible really

 

[MrBigSad]

Cutting is very inneficient. Sorry to criticize in your time of need. As an outsider I state as a fact if you are cutting in your ctb attempt it's very likely you will fail. You appear in a manic state so I shall not tell you which to cut. As you already know what to go for, it is obvious when you think about it.

I am here. We are all here if you want to talk about anything.

You have every right to ctb. But (in my opinion) you should do it with care and consideration both to yourself and others. I hope you don't suffer tonight.

If you succeed I wish you peace.

If you do not, we are here

 

[MariV]

i could try to hide the SN preparations in my room and do it while she sleeps. but she wakes up often and we both have our doors open. dying by SN is not quiet is it?

 

[Ghost2211]

i could try to hide the SN preparations in my room and do it while she sleeps. but she wakes up often and we both have our doors open. dying by SN is not quiet is it?

Yes, just try to vomit not too loud.... but overnight is plenty of time

 

[Stopmylife]

try to change your ways. see how long it takes to come see you. put a background sound. I know it's complicated for you.

 

[MariV]

yes...im deeply sorry for the situation. ctb in the toilet while my mother is sleeping. how horrible is that my god. but i cant come up with any other way to do it given my low mobility.
my guilt is huge
she is a loving mother. but i rly dont want to live anymore.i messed up too much.guilt consumes me

 

[Ghost2211]

yes...im deeply sorry for the situation. ctb in the toilet while my mother is sleeping. how horrible is that my god. but i cant come up with any other way to do it given my low mobility.
my guilt is huge
she is a loving mother. but i rly dont want to live anymore.i messed up too much.guilt consumes me

If you don't know what you're doing wrist cutting will likely fail. It has highest fail rates of suicide...
I know how to do it, have scalpels, and still not an option due to how massively painful it would be. not to mention clotting

 

[MariV]

she has her door open and so do i. each of our rooms is at the final of the corridor.i could try to go to the kitchen.

wish i knew what and how to cut
another option is taking the SN when shes not home but i guess shell call the emergencies when she finds my door is locked

 

[Stopmylife]

Please don't cut it's not as fast as you think. and you don't want your mom to clean up all the blood.

 

[Silver]

Maybe you could leave your house at night if you wanted to take SN.

Tbh I can't see cutting yourself will work.

 

[MariV]

Maybe you could leave your house at night if you wanted to take SN.

Tbh I can't see cutting yourself will work.

and where would i go not to het discovered? i would have to order a taxi. where could i tell the driver to go? to a "forest"? hmm
its a very small flat. any door i open or close she will hear

 

[Ghost2211]

she has her door open and so do i. each of our rooms is at the final of the corridor.i could try to go to the kitchen.

wish i knew what and how to cut
another option is taking the SN when shes not home but i guess shell call the emergencies when she finds my door is locked

You only need a couple hours at most.

 

[Silver]

and where would i go not to het discovered? i would have to order a taxi. where could i tell the driver to go? to a "forest"? hmm
its a very small flat. any door i open or close she will hear

Idk, I wondered if you had a garden or yard

 

[Lordsudbury]

I've seen your previous posts too I'm sorry you're in so much pain.

As others have said do not cut, you WILL fail, it is not like the movies. I tried cutting my throat this summer with a kitchen blade and bro it did not work. It will not work, period

 

[MariV]

i think the only solution involving SN would be waiting for her to leave home then lock me in my room and do it fast.
ill have to make up im too nauseus to eat. guess SN with full stomach is not viable. she will suspect though

 

[fluffymuffin]

You'll most likely fail without any blood thinners let alone access to a bathtub, you won't be able to prevent the formation of blood clots which will just slow out the process.

 

[MariV]

You only need a couple hours at most.

mb its enough. up to 4h according to stans guide. but id have to be quick and my brain is so foggy after so many sleepless nights

 

[Ghost2211]

i think the only solution involving SN would be waiting for her to leave home then lock me in my room and do it fast.
ill have to make up im too nauseus to eat. guess SN with full stomach is not viable. she will suspect though

She won't believe you don't feel well enough to eat? You only need 8 hour fast.

 

[theguineapigking]

Well, I plan to go to a hotel. That's something to consider, if it's possible for you to take a taxi(or Uber, or Lyft, which I plan to use). I know you said you can't leave home though, so I guess I just mentioned this in case you were to find a way.


Likes others have said, cutting isn't usually a good way to go. It hurts badly and is likely to fail, perhaps even with nerve damage. I don't want that for you, or the gory of blood to be the last thing you see, then your mother would see it. It's your choice of course, but a bloody mess would be traumatic for your mom. Sn is possible at home too. I'd imagine it'd draw less attention than cutting, but you do need time for it to work. Many people die within a couple hours, but stans guide says up to 4.



Op, I'm really sorry for your pain. It is horrible to go through this. Just please be sure that you truly want to attempt, before you do.


I sincerely wish you the best.

 

[Ghost2211]

mb its enough. up to 4h according to stans guide. but id have to be quick and my brain is so foggy after so many sleepless nights

People die within the hour the window is to make super sure.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I don't understand how this has escalated to such a dramatic level. Your mother was supportive, now she will call emergency services to keep you alive? What's going on? Do you have any way to calm yourself when you get to feeling like there are danger alarms going off? I'm concerned because you're considering a method that will likely make you yell and likely fail, it feels over the top, and it feels like you need someone to talk you down. Is it okay when you post something like this to help you calm rather than try to help you do something that's going to make things worse? What do you suggest?

Also, please don't take this as criticism, but it would be helpful if you'd quote when you respond to someone. It makes the thread hard to follow if you don't, and I don't know about other people, but I don't always follow a thread when I comment because I don't want a bunch of alerts, but I'll get alerted when I'm quoted.

Sending compassion. I know you're having a hard time.

 

[MariV]

she just came to my room to talk as she saw im awake. i told her ive taken every pill in the world..that the only thing that can put me to sleep is ghb, which is something she has seen with her eyes.
then theres this super potent narcoleptic called Xyrem which is sodium ocybate, which is exactly the ghb i have in my drawer under its party name ghb:

Clinical applications of sodium oxybate (GHB): from narcolepsy to alcohol withdrawal syndrome - PubMed

Gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB) is a short chain fatty acid endogenously produced within the central nervous system (CNS) and acts as a precursor and metabolite of the inhibitory neurotransmitter γ-aminobutyric acid (GABA). Although, it is an illegal recreational drug of abuse, its sodium salt...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

lets see if she finds an open minded psuchiatrist
im very sorry aboit how hysterical i am...thx for ur support, really
xyrem and gbh are exactly the same. i took it for months when i was living alone.0 side effects, 0 tolerance. 0 dependence.

 

[MariV]

now shes leaving but i took breakfast...so it wont work will it? ill wait...if the doctor says its ok for me to take xyrem i may even not ctb and live as a zombie till she dies with that thing it would be possible.lets pray.
And again thank you all for your patience and understanding. rly appreciated.