Venting Cursed

[agony1996]

I feel like I've been cursed.,just when I say things can't possibly get any worse they do. I hate when people say when you're down things can only go up from her…
No they fucking can't
I'm suicidal, my birthday is in 4 days and my dog died yesterday. I'm in so much pain it's unimaginable. I can't stop crying.
I don't want to be here anymore how much more pain can a person take. I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up.
I want to ctb but of course with my luck there are so many obstacles, I don't want to hurt my mom, i don't want to leave my sister she'd never survive without me, I'm her everything and I'm afraid of the act of dying and what happens in that moment I imagine my myself not being able to breathe anymore and it freaks me out I also imagine myself in a coffin.
How am I suppose to ctb under these circumstances. I always ask myself why this is so fucking hard and I'm pretty sure the universe wants me to suffer, I think it enjoys watching me suffer and keeps adding more and more pain in my heart

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry for your loss and you have to go through this. Life is often so unfair.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just never wish to wake again, existence really is too cruel and painful, so terrible how there's all this suffering.

 

[Worndown]

Anxiety is ruling the day.
I am sorry about your dog passing. That is never easy to cope with.
Birthdays happen. I hope yours will be ok.
Family left behind is one reason so many people are still here. There is no good way to deal with that. It shows you care.
Unfortunately the universe is a cold and uncaring thing. We are on our own unless we share with others. Please post, chat and vent. Others share your problems.

 

[Edistrying]

My brother it's the reason too why I'm still here. The only reason. I know My familia (mom, dad and my other sister are gonna suffer) but it my brother the real reason im here. I justo hope find the courage to do it.

 

[agony1996]

Anxiety is ruling the day.
I am sorry about your dog passing. That is never easy to cope with.
Birthdays happen. I hope yours will be ok.
Family left behind is one reason so many people are still here. There is no good way to deal with that. It shows you care.
Unfortunately the universe is a cold and uncaring thing. We are on our own unless we share with others. Please post, chat and vent. Others share your problems.

Thank you so much that's really kind and yes the universe is uncaring. It does feel good to share with other on here.
So grateful that we at least have this, each other.

My brother it's the reason too why I'm still here. The only reason. I know My familia (mom, dad and my other sister are gonna suffer) but it my brother the real reason im here. I justo hope find the courage to do it.

I'm sorry it's such a horrible position to be in. It's heartbreaking when we think about the pain they'll go through.

 

[msesis]

I feel like I've been cursed.,just when I say things can't possibly get any worse they do. I hate when people say when you're down things can only go up from her…
No they fucking can't
I'm suicidal, my birthday is in 4 days and my dog died yesterday. I'm in so much pain it's unimaginable. I can't stop crying.
I don't want to be here anymore how much more pain can a person take. I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up.
I want to ctb but of course with my luck there are so many obstacles, I don't want to hurt my mom, i don't want to leave my sister she'd never survive without me, I'm her everything and I'm afraid of the act of dying and what happens in that moment I imagine my myself not being able to breathe anymore and it freaks me out I also imagine myself in a coffin.
How am I suppose to ctb under these circumstances. I always ask myself why this is so fucking hard and I'm pretty sure the universe wants me to suffer, I think it enjoys watching me suffer and keeps adding more and more pain in my heart

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog... That sounds so painful and difficulty to go through