Currently prepping for carbon monoxide poisoning by charcoal in my car

[Sotired]

The charcoal has been in the chimney starter about 20 minutes. I think about 3kg of charcoal. Top ones aren't grey yet. Got a big saucer with water in the bottom to put a steel bucket of grey charcoal in. Pillow in the car. It's a station wagon type car. I'm not going to bother sealing the doors. It's not in a garage out in the open.

Having a wine to relax. I feel the most relaxed about ctb than ever before. Maybe once I'm in the car I'll start panicking.

My biggest concern is that it doesn't work and I'll have to deal with the guilt and humiliation and pain I'll have caused others. But after the last few days I can't see how I can go on to live a productive healthy meaningful positive life. There are glimpses of happiness and being content and having a sense of purpose and of feeling loved, cared for, admired... but not enough to motivate me to continue to live.

More than anything I'm tired of trying. I tried a lot, all my life, but I think I've finally reached a point where I am ok with giving up.

Just posting this to vent and hopefully connect with people and feel like I'm not so alone and awful of a person. I just don't think I was designed to survive in this world.

 

[KiraComplex]

Good luck :)
No need to rush

 

[Sotired]

If any critiquing to my method to make it more successful, that's welcome.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

Good luck

 

[Sotired]

I'm setting things up for in case I wake up tomorrow morning and it hasn't worked I have a job interview that I just don't think I can face. I have work. If this fails I need it to not be known or things will be so much worse than I thought they could even get.

 

[Taktik]

Hello, sorry you got to that point.
You say you have a job interview tommorow?
If so I would recommend for you to do it another time in case this fails. You dont need to rush things

 

[sanction]

I'm setting things up for in case I wake up tomorrow morning and it hasn't worked I have a job interview that I just don't think I can face. I have work. If this fails I need it to not be known or things will be so much worse than I thought they could even get.

Best wishes to you, but thats kind of crazy you are able to pull this off, in-terms of trying to burn charcoal to CTB tonight, but have a backup plan to still show up for work (or work interview?) if you end up surviving by the morning. If you do end up surviving, I think it'll be hard to still wake up on time, not be disoriented and still be able to function normally at your next work shift? Or work interview, whichever is the correct one. And hopefully you won't end up with some sort of permanent brain damage from the carbon monoxide. Be careful and stay safe

 

[Sotired]

There's isn't a perfect time to ctb. I want to die all the time but the thought of it gives me anxiety for me it's not a calm rational procedure is scary. I'm researched and prepared to ease the anxiety but today is when u feel most prepared.
The job interview has motivated me to ctb as my anxiety is so bad I'd rather die than attempt to do an interview when I just don't think I can put on that mask that says 'I'm okay, I'm stable and reliable and everything that you're looking for'. And it's not just an interview it's like everything is hard. Getting out of bed, showering, last night my anxiety wouldn't let me sleep but I was so tired. I'm exhausted. I feel so tired I cant even function.
I've started typing an email to try to reschedule the interview due to sickness. In case I end up waking up so that hopefully I don't scream 'unstable'.

 

[SelfHatingAspie]

As this is one of my preferred methods, I'll be watching this thread with interest. If the OP stops posting after a while, then I'll assume that it went as planned.

All the best, and I hope you find peace.

 

[sanction]

There's isn't a perfect time to ctb. I want to die all the time but the thought of it gives me anxiety for me it's not a calm rational procedure is scary. I'm researched and prepared to ease the anxiety but today is when u feel most prepared.
The job interview has motivated me to ctb as my anxiety is so bad I'd rather die than attempt to do an interview when I just don't think I can put on that mask that says 'I'm okay, I'm stable and reliable and everything that you're looking for'. And it's not just an interview it's like everything is hard. Getting out of bed, showering, last night my anxiety wouldn't let me sleep but I was so tired. I'm exhausted. I feel so tired I cant even function.
I've started typing an email to try to reschedule the interview due to sickness. In case I end up waking up so that hopefully I don't scream 'unstable'.

Sorry to hear things are difficult for you. If it was me (although probably easier said than done), I would at least schedule my CTB maybe a bit further away from the job interview? Such as a few days apart? That way if it fails, you can still rest and recover a bit first. If its in the very next morning, it is probably extremely difficult to coordinate and juggle both things at once. Do you even have time to shower and refresh yourself beforehand? You'll probably be extremely weak by then, in a negative/ strange mood, potential headache, smell like charcoal, etc. yet you need to show up on time, look and act your very best, etc. And also rescheduling the interview in so short notice may leave a bad first impression. But of course, I'm not trying to add on to your current stress, just trying to share some more ideas with you, so you can make the best decision. Once again, best wishes to you

 

[Sotired]

As this is one of my preferred methods, I'll be watching this thread with interest. If the OP stops posting after a while, then I'll assume that it went as planned.

All the best, and I hope you find peace.

If I end up backing out or waking up I will let the thread know. Though I'll be humiliated and full of regret to be honest. If you have any questions let me know

 

[sanction]

If I end up backing out or waking up I will let the thread know. Though I'll be humiliated and full of regret to be honest. If you have any questions let me know

And make sure you can drive safely afterwards. Hopefully you won't be rushing in morning traffic, while going through all this. Stay safe

 

[Sotired]

My charcoal is still well alight and it's been an hour 13min since I lit it. The chimney starter was full. Can anyone advise if it will take much longer or is it ok?

 

[SelfHatingAspie]

If I end up backing out or waking up I will let the thread know. Though I'll be humiliated and full of regret to be honest. If you have any questions let me know

Cheers. Hopefully it'll work out for you. Although I'm curious about using so much charcoal. I'd be concerned that if there's too much, it might have trouble getting fully alight and therefore could result in a lot of smoke for not much CO. For what it's worth, my intention is to use 3 of those disposable charcoal BBQs, lighting each one about 10 minutes apart. Each one would be placed on a ceramic tile to avoid setting fire to the car (whilst fire would be very effective to ctb, it'd also be very painful and would attract too much attention).

As for not sealing the car, I'm in two minds about that. I'm thinking that your idea of not sealing it has merit, as combustion needs some oxygen to occur and competely shutting fresh air out of the vehicle might cause incomplete burning. Then again, trapping more CO in the car should increase PPM more quickly, resulting in a swifter passing.

Decisions, decisions.

My charcoal is still well alight and it's been an hour 13min since I lit it. The chimney starter was full. Can anyone advise if it will take much longer or is it ok?

If the car has been closed the whole time, then it should be about ready - if the charcoal is well lit after an hour or so, then it seems like it'll go the distance (this is something I struggle with when using the Weber, which is why I don't use one anymore).

Good luck!

 

[Sotired]

All the coals are grey but they're still well alight, am I to put them out? I didn't have them over a grill but over a oven pan as I don't have a grill has that made a difference? How do I stop them being on fire
My thought process was that you put the coals in the chimney starter, it alights and you wait for the fire to go out until the goal is all grey like when they've finished smoking a great amount and that's when you put it in the car? But the coals were still on fire in the chimney starter so I put them in a bucket and in my car and now sitting in it, unsure there's enough gas emission to top me.
Just sitting in the car the coals in the bucket in a sauces of water, making noise. I hope it's just boiling water and not the bucket or saucepan disintegrating?
How long is this meant to take?

 

[hunthunt]

I hope everything went right for you and you found the peace that you were looking for.

 

[SelfHatingAspie]

All the coals are grey but they're still well alight, am I to put them out?

I thought that the idea was to keep the charcoal burning. Once it stops burning, CO stops being made. Although it may be all academic by now.

 

[passenger27]

Hope things work out for you. Sounds like you have all your bases covered. The only other thing you could possibly need is a good CO meter to take the guesswork out of whether you have enough CO built up in your car. An el-cheapo one won't really measure up to the ppm you're going to need, you could really use a TPI 707 carbon monoxide analyzer. The bad thing is they run around $375 dollars, but they measure up to 10,000 ppm, way more than enough to put you to sleep forever. If you can't afford that, well, I guess all you can do is take a chance. It's worked for many a person, especially in Asia. They don't care about a meter, they just do their thing. Hope this helps. Good luck!

 

[Avicii]

I'm guessing this really worked huh?? Sad

 

[Sotired]

I didn't die. I was disorientated when I woke up and bruised and I think a bit burned. I have just been in bed the past few days.

 

[nzdarkshark]

Sorry to hear things didn't work out for you.

 

[sanction]

I didn't die. I was disorientated when I woke up and bruised and I think a bit burned. I have just been in bed the past few days.

Sorry to hear about this. Hope you feel better asap. If you don't mind, please share your experience, so hopefully other members can prevent some of the things that went wrong. Thanks

 

[Sotired]

Sorry for the late reply, have been absolutely apathetic. I filled the chimney starter up with coal, I estimate between 2.5-3kg and lit a chunk of fire starters underneath, the chimney starter was in a baking tray. I thought I had to wait for the coal to stop being alight/when there's no more black smoke being made. But as the coal level went down and the coal was still burning but grey I just tipped them into a metal bucket and they stopped being on fire. I think they were in the chimney starter for like an hour 45. I thought theyre supposed to emit carbon monoxide for ages after they're no longer alight? I got a big pot and put water in it and the bucket into the pot in the back of my station wagon. I got in the back and locked the door. I remember sizzling type noises. I don't know how long went by until I passed out, I suppose we could use this thread to estimate. I woke up and it was daylight. I have no idea what time of day, it was the next day. I was extremely disoriented and weak. It took what felt like hours to get out of the car. I think I have burns to my leg, head and ribs. Could this be from the seatbelts heating up? I was very weak and my muscles were very sore but it's been three days and my body and brain feel a lot stronger already.
Feedback welcome.

Sorry for the late reply, have been absolutely apathetic. I filled the chimney starter up with coal, I estimate between 2.5-3kg and lit a chunk of fire starters underneath, the chimney starter was in a baking tray. I thought I had to wait for the coal to stop being alight/when there's no more black smoke being made. But as the coal level went down and the coal was still burning but grey I just tipped them into a metal bucket and they stopped being on fire. I think they were in the chimney starter for like an hour 45. I thought theyre supposed to emit carbon monoxide for ages after they're no longer alight? I got a big pot and put water in it and the bucket into the pot in the back of my station wagon. I got in the back and locked the door. I remember sizzling type noises. I don't know how long went by until I passed out, I suppose we could use this thread to estimate. I woke up and it was daylight. I have no idea what time of day, it was the next day. I was extremely disoriented and weak. It took what felt like hours to get out of the car. I think I have burns to my leg, head and ribs. Could this be from the seatbelts heating up? I was very weak and my muscles were very sore but it's been three days and my body and brain feel a lot stronger already.
Feedback welcome.

On reflection looking back on my first post the coals were alight in the chimney starter for about two hours

 

[a.h]

I think that when using coals people should have meter. Many haven't gotten high levels of CO from it.

 

[hunthunt]

Sorry you coulnt make what you where looking for, this method seems tome over complicated and insecure.

 

[Darkdreamer001]

The charcoal has been in the chimney starter about 20 minutes. I think about 3kg of charcoal. Top ones aren't grey yet. Got a big saucer with water in the bottom to put a steel bucket of grey charcoal in. Pillow in the car. It's a station wagon type car. I'm not going to bother sealing the doors. It's not in a garage out in the open.

Having a wine to relax. I feel the most relaxed about ctb than ever before. Maybe once I'm in the car I'll start panicking.

My biggest concern is that it doesn't work and I'll have to deal with the guilt and humiliation and pain I'll have caused others. But after the last few days I can't see how I can go on to live a productive healthy meaningful positive life. There are glimpses of happiness and being content and having a sense of purpose and of feeling loved, cared for, admired... but not enough to motivate me to continue to live.

More than anything I'm tired of trying. I tried a lot, all my life, but I think I've finally reached a point where I am ok with giving up.

Just posting this to vent and hopefully connect with people and feel like I'm not so alone and awful of a person. I just don't think I was designed to survive in this world.

I'm sorry for the stupid question, but what is the water for. You mentioned you had water in a saucer and I've seen other posts that said something about water, just wanting to know the purpose of it.

 

[Sotired]

I'm sorry for the stupid question, but what is the water for. You mentioned you had water in a saucer and I've seen other posts that said something about water, just wanting to know the purpose of it.

Sorry for the late reply. From other posts I've read people use either a bigger pan or pot with water OR bricks to place the bucket of charcoal in/on to absorb downward heat to avoid burning wrecking the floor and also to absorb additional heat occurring inside the room..... Anyone correct me if I'm mistaken. My car way VERY hot inside to the point where after I passed out and sustained multiple burns to my leg, torso and head..... I'm guessing from the seatbelt metal parts, that's the only thing I can think of how I got burned..

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Sorry for the late reply. From other posts I've read people use either a bigger pan or pot with water OR bricks to place the bucket of charcoal in/on to absorb downward heat to avoid burning wrecking the floor and also to absorb additional heat occurring inside the room..... Anyone correct me if I'm mistaken. My car way VERY hot inside to the point where after I passed out and sustained multiple burns to my leg, torso and head..... I'm guessing from the seatbelt metal parts, that's the only thing I can think of how I got burned..

Hey, so where exactly do you think you went wrong? Your vehicle wasn't sealed enough? The CO level wasn't high enough? But how did you pass out though...

I'm really set on this method and testing it out.

 

[ProlongedSentence]

Dang. This was one I was hoping might work. But all the burn stories scare me. Why can't you just do this with like three hibatchis in the garage instead of the car?

 

[John Smith]

I didn't die. I was disorientated when I woke up and bruised and I think a bit burned. I have just been in bed the past few days.

Do you have any memory problems from it?