Discussion Ctb while I'm angry?

[Watcher]

The real problem is, I don't want to be angry before I ctb, but I don't how to forgive people who hurted me. I don't want to leave knowing that I'm in a bad mood... It's like feeling guilty, I know depression gives you guilty feelings, but I don't want to carry them anymore, at least, before ctb'ing. I don't believe in any religion, but, I want to know minimum, that I'm leaving everything right. That there's nothing left to pay. I loved nature, and some people. But circumstances brought me here, and I want to be free for just a quick moment.

 

[pole]

The real problem is, I don't want to be angry before I ctb, but I don't how to forgive people who hurted me. I don't want to leave knowing that I'm in a bad mood... It's like feeling guilty, I know depression gives you guilty feelings, but I don't want to carry them anymore, at least, before ctb'ing. I don't believe in any religion, but, I want to know minimum, that I'm leaving everything right. That there's nothing left to pay. I loved nature, and some people. But circumstances brought me here, and I want to be free for just a quick moment.

I think you shouldnt ctb rn, especially if ur angry. I understand if you ctb, you'd be at peace since your just gone. But ctbing while being angry, acting out on the basis of emotions, and not going out without a peace of mind sucks. To me, i'd wanna be at a peace of mind, where ive accepted my life for what it is, that nothing can change or happen to influence my decision, and just take N and calmy just leave.

 

[not_a_robot]

If you leave feeling shitty for what they did to you, it's like letting them win one more time.
I also don't recommend forgiveness though, that's a crock of shit.

 

[lululoo]

If getting over anger at my parents were a requirement for CTB, I'd never be allowed. I'm just trying to reach a state of relative peace and acceptance about it. I'm not going to do it in an acutely angry state. Which thankfully I'm usually not in anymore. But the simmering stew of anger and sadness and bitterness, that I can't drain out before I go. If I could, I'd be a different person and have more reason to live. I will partially forgive and partially accept, and that will have to do.