Ctb via drowning failed.

[Bandzbandz]

Showed up to the beach today and police was cornering it off, so didn't have the opportunity to go through with it.
Smh.

 

[GoneSeptember2018]

Showed up to the beach today and police was cornering it off, so didn't have the opportunity to go through with it.
Smh.

Wow, what are the chances of that happening on the day you go there. Jeez. That happened to me once when I went to a bridge to jump, only to find they had installed fences that very week to prevent people on the sidewalks from climbing the railing and jumping.

 

[Anarchy]

Respect to you for getting to the place of death. That alone can be very intimidating.

It's a real shame that the opportunity wasn't there.
Hope that an opportunity will come soon for you.

I wouldn't say you failed at anything; you didn't get to attempt because the opportunity wasn't there in the first place...

 

[Bandzbandz]

Wow, what are the chances of that happening on the day you go there. Jeez. That happened to me once when I went to a bridge to jump, only to find they had installed fences that very week to prevent people walking on the sidewalks from climbing the railing and jumping.

Right? It's hella upsetting.

Respect to you for getting to the place of death. That alone can be very intimidating.

It's a real shame that the opportunity wasn't there.
Hope that an opportunity will come soon for you.

I wouldn't say you failed at anything; you didn't get to attempt because the opportunity wasn't there in the first place...

You're right but I could've driven to another one and did it but I couldn't. I was just exhausted reaching the first beach. I don't know. It got me rethinking things but I know I still want to CTB.

 

[Anarchy]

Right? It's hella upsetting.


You're right but I could've driven to another one and did it but I couldn't. I was just exhausted reaching the first beach. I don't know. It got me rethinking things but I know I still want to CTB.

It didn't seem to be the right time.
You'd have to have attempted to fail . I guess you could say you aborted the attempt, but that doesn't equate to failing. You can't fail at something that you haven't tried.
It's a good thing that you didn't try with the police there, because actually failing would be awful. And It's understandable that you didn't go to another beach. You hadn't expected the police to be there.
I guess It's always easy to think of what you could have done in retrospect, but planning and going through with a suicide is hard enough when everything goes as expected. You can't be faulted for wanting to try another time, after that.
You are obviously serious about going through with it - you are committed enough to get to the place of death despite the mental barriers. So, it wasn't because you didn't do enough; it was because you got thrown off guard. And that's okay. I think that anyone would be thrown off guard in that situation.
It seems to be a good thing that you aborted mission. Because, it might not have gone well after seeing the police.
I know for one that if I saw people lingering around my place of death, I would probably be made too anxious to feel able to end things.
So, maybe try not to think of it as a failure, but an experience? Hopefully, your experience will help you feel more prepared to end things in future, knowing that you were able to get to the place of death.
Just think of it as a scoping out of your place of death :)
If you can get to the beach, I have faith that you can do it again, when there are no police around.

 

[Bandzbandz]

It didn't seem to be the right time.
You'd have to have attempted to fail . I guess you could say you aborted the attempt, but that doesn't equate to failing. You can't fail at something that you haven't tried.
It's a good thing that you didn't try with the police there, because actually failing would be awful. And It's understandable that you didn't go to another beach. You hadn't expected the police to be there.
I guess It's always easy to think of what you could have done in retrospect, but planning and going through with a suicide is hard enough when everything goes as expected. You can't be faulted for wanting to try another time, after that.
You are obviously serious about going through with it - you are committed enough to get to the place of death despite the mental barriers. So, it wasn't because you didn't do enough; it was because you got thrown off guard. And that's okay. I think that anyone would be thrown off guard in that situation.
It seems to be a good thing that you aborted mission. Because, it might not have gone well after seeing the police.
I know for one that if I saw people lingering around my place of death, I would probably be made too anxious to feel able to end things.
So, maybe try not to think of it as a failure, but an experience? Hopefully, your experience will help you feel more prepared to end things in future, knowing that you were able to get to the place of death.
Just think of it as a scoping out of your place of death :)
If you can get to the beach, I have faith that you can do it again, when there are no police around.

You're right.
I don't mind having people around as long and I go underwater quick and sink to the bottom and that way I don't have to bother anybody. Or if I am found, then I would like to be found the second it was too late. I'm going to try a lake and pick a day when it's not too busy.
Thank you SO MUCH for your post, honestly it made me feel so much better. Reading it was like getting cuddled by a huge weight blanket.

 

[Anarchy]

You're right.
I don't mind having people around as long and I go underwater quick and sink to the bottom and that way I don't have to bother anybody. Or if I am found, then I would like to be found the second it was too late. I'm going to try a lake and pick a day when it's not too busy.
Thank you SO MUCH for your post, honestly it made me feel so much better. Reading it was like getting cuddled by a huge weight blanket.

You're very welcome :)
I really hope that you won't be stopped by the police or anyone other. The worst thing about getting rescued, I think, is being hospitalised for a while, or being hospitalised permanently.
I honestly don't think that that will happen to you, though. You sound assured about your method, which is a good thing, because it means you picked the right one, and are more likely to succeed.
Worst case scenario, you get found, and you could claim that it was accidental and discharge yourself from hospital. But I don't think it'll come to that. I really hope not, anyway.
Drowning seems like a scary way to go because of not being able to breathe. It's supposed to be the psychological pain that's the worst, and you seem like you'd be very capable of overcoming that, with how certain with your decision you seem.
Hopefully, it will go as well for you as possible, and your last moments will be peaceful.

 

[Phro]

A few years ago, I drove out to a bridge that I was going to jump from. The police were there all along the shoulder with radar guns as part of a speed trap. I was like WTF.

 

[Rocky M]

Sorry to hear. Hopefully there will be another chance for you to find peace.