The end. My method is drowning. Before drowning, I will try eating some poisonous plant. I will try to drink as much seawater as possible because salt water itself in large quantities is poisonous, plus water intoxication can also happen.
When i was a child, i used to save lots of drowning bugs. Even now i can't not do nothing - I save a bug if I see it suffering in drowning.
I will miss you. Before joining this forum, under the influence of websites demonizing this community and stereotypes, I imagined this SaSu to be a dark web only website, where people encourage each other to ctb; where powerful people & Admins coerce others users to ctb, where you are blackmailed if you don't ctb. A perfect place for me as someone for suffering from terrible low self worth. I thought i deserved to be encouraged to ctb and even verbally abused, blackmailed. A dark place.
But at the end, not only i was heavily, deeply wrong, but also i found my kind of spiritual family here, my community here, a place where even someone like me can have a voice. a place that actually cares about me. A place that gives voice to scapegoats like me, where i am not blamed for every single problem.
If there is heaven on earth, a place free from suffering, kind of like lost Eldorado city, where people lived very well... This place is that lost Eldorado. This place.
Thank you all for filling in gaps what I needed in this life: to be listened genuinely (not for selling that product to me in overpriced manner), to feel like I matter, to know even i can have friends and people who understand me, understanding, care, belonging....
this place is as close as one can get near the concept of heaven. for scientists, heaven doesn't exist. Although it doesn't exist, SaSu exists. it's as close as you can be near heaven, near total understanding, near care...
English isn't my native language. thanks for taking your time to read my messages
I still decided to give it time or think about other methods but exactly now I am determined. Choking, suffocation - other methods can't be as effective as this. I feel excited and can't wait until some time passes and so I can finally leave everything.
When i was a child, i used to save lots of drowning bugs. Even now i can't not do nothing - I save a bug if I see it suffering in drowning.
I will miss you. Before joining this forum, under the influence of websites demonizing this community and stereotypes, I imagined this SaSu to be a dark web only website, where people encourage each other to ctb; where powerful people & Admins coerce others users to ctb, where you are blackmailed if you don't ctb. A perfect place for me as someone for suffering from terrible low self worth. I thought i deserved to be encouraged to ctb and even verbally abused, blackmailed. A dark place.
But at the end, not only i was heavily, deeply wrong, but also i found my kind of spiritual family here, my community here, a place where even someone like me can have a voice. a place that actually cares about me. A place that gives voice to scapegoats like me, where i am not blamed for every single problem.
If there is heaven on earth, a place free from suffering, kind of like lost Eldorado city, where people lived very well... This place is that lost Eldorado. This place.
Thank you all for filling in gaps what I needed in this life: to be listened genuinely (not for selling that product to me in overpriced manner), to feel like I matter, to know even i can have friends and people who understand me, understanding, care, belonging....
this place is as close as one can get near the concept of heaven. for scientists, heaven doesn't exist. Although it doesn't exist, SaSu exists. it's as close as you can be near heaven, near total understanding, near care...
English isn't my native language. thanks for taking your time to read my messages
I still decided to give it time or think about other methods but exactly now I am determined. Choking, suffocation - other methods can't be as effective as this. I feel excited and can't wait until some time passes and so I can finally leave everything.
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