Help Ctb tomorrow morning, would appreciate feedback!!

[lalaland16]

Hi everyone!
I'm going to try to ctb tomorrow morning. And just a note, sorry about my last post- was just feeling very desperate to ctb asap as I'm 26 and have been feeling this way since I was 12 years old. I've done everything I can to get better. Literally everything atp. I'm back in the pit as the depressive cycles throws me back into again and again. And I'm over it. I also don't think I can even climb back out this time anyways. Long story, short, I'm finally ready to ctb.

I'm scared it won't work. I feel some guilt. But I have to try at least.

Here's my plan, feedback very much welcome please!!

1. Fast for 12 hours
2. I have about 2 hours alone. Going to take a whole bottle of Klonopin 1 hour before plan commences- 1 hour before I'm alone
2. 30 min before Klonopin kicks in- I'm going to smoke a cigarette cuz why not, one last buzz(not a smoker).
3. Take three shots of vodka
4. Go upstairs and start the water in the bath, warm temp.
5. Write my ctb note, just to mention a few things I want after my passing.
6. Start playing some of my favorite songs and lock the door to the br.
7. Start chugging some more vodka as Klonopin onset gets closer and get in tub.
8. Put backpack full of rocks on me to weigh me down and position myself so when I pass out from vodka and Klonopin overdose, my head falls back into water and I drown.

What are your thoughts? Do you think a whole bottle of Klonopin and some vodka will knock me out and allow me to drown? Or will I just be throwing up non stop and have to call an ambulance? Do I need the bag of rocks, will I not drown otherwise? Is this enough time? Thanks so much!!

 

[Hvergelmir]

Those questions coming just one day before your planned attempt is a clear sign that you might want to give it some more time.
Get answers from good sources, before attempting anything.

I also would not recommend writing your note on a fairly tight time constraint, while alcohol and meds kick in. Give yourself plenty of time, by writing it in advance.
The backpack seem redundant.

 

[SVEN]

if I was drinking Vodka on an empty stomach there would be a good chance I'd be vomiting rather than passing out. I don't know if you already know from past experience that you'll be okay with drinking after a fast, in which case just ignore my comment.
Please accept my best wishes in any event.

 

[lalaland16]

if I was drinking Vodka on an empty stomach there would be a good chance I'd be vomiting rather than passing out. I don't know if you already know from past experience that you'll be okay with drinking after a fast, in which case just ignore my comment.
Please accept my best wishes in any event.

Thank you! :) You, as well!

 

[athiestjoe]

I'm so sorry things are so awful like this, the world is a cruel place.

When it comes to drowning in a bathtub, even with a bottle of Klonopin in your system + some booze to try and knock yourself out first, I suggest you check out some other threads on this topic. Take some time to assess the risks of failure and decide if you really want to go through with this or consider a potentially more reliable method. [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10]. And here are some posts from other members that have experienced drowning so you can read a little about what it was like: [1][2][3]

The survival instinct and the body's natural drive for self-preservation are likely to outweigh the ability to CTB by drowning in a bathtub. Is it possible? Yes, of course, anything is possible. It is also possible I get struck by lightening in a storm, but is that likely? Nope, but yes possible. People do manage to do it, both accidentally and intentionally. However, it doesn't seem very reliable. Depending on the circumstances, it could lead to permanent damage and greater suffering than already experiencing. I am very pro-choice, but I also advocate for making informed decisions about such actions to minimize the chances of a failed attempt, which could result in worse conditions if someone survives. This method just seems like it is going to have a very big chance of failing if I am being honest. It's going to take a lot more than you might realize to push back against your natural will to live. I really encourage you to take some time for honest self-reflection and ask yourself if you can truly fight against your body's deep-rooted, instinctive need to breathe; maybe you are that point, I dunno. It sounds awful difficult of a method.

As for whether the Klonipin and vodka would be enough to make you drown, no probably not. Even if you did pass out unconscious your body is still going to react and do what it can to get a breath of air. Check out this post about SI being wired into us.

Make sure to check out some of the stickied threads! While SWB is included in the compilation, it doesn't seem to be a popular method because it can be tough to achieve. Even though what's discussed here is technically different, many of the same considerations still apply. Also, look into other megathreads about viable and reliable ways.

With whatever you decide, I hope you find everything you are looking for and get peace & serenity.

 

[lalaland16]

I'm so sorry things are so awful like this, the world is a cruel place.

When it comes to drowning in a bathtub, even with a bottle of Klonopin in your system + some booze to try and knock yourself out first, I suggest you check out some other threads on this topic. Take some time to assess the risks of failure and decide if you really want to go through with this or consider a potentially more reliable method. [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10]. And here are some posts from other members that have experienced drowning so you can read a little about what it was like: [1][2][3]

The survival instinct and the body's natural drive for self-preservation are likely to outweigh the ability to CTB by drowning in a bathtub. Is it possible? Yes, of course, anything is possible. It is also possible I get struck by lightening in a storm, but is that likely? Nope, but yes possible. People do manage to do it, both accidentally and intentionally. However, it doesn't seem very reliable. Depending on the circumstances, it could lead to permanent damage and greater suffering than already experiencing. I am very pro-choice, but I also advocate for making informed decisions about such actions to minimize the chances of a failed attempt, which could result in worse conditions if someone survives. This method just seems like it is going to have a very big chance of failing if I am being honest. It's going to take a lot more than you might realize to push back against your natural will to live. I really encourage you to take some time for honest self-reflection and ask yourself if you can truly fight against your body's deep-rooted, instinctive need to breathe; maybe you are that point, I dunno. It sounds awful difficult of a method.

As for whether the Klonipin and vodka would be enough to make you drown, no probably not. Even if you did pass out unconscious your body is still going to react and do what it can to get a breath of air. Check out this post about SI being wired into us.

Make sure to check out some of the stickied threads! While SWB is included in the compilation, it doesn't seem to be a popular method because it can be tough to achieve. Even though what's discussed here is technically different, many of the same considerations still apply. Also, look into other megathreads about viable and reliable ways.

With whatever you decide, I hope you find everything you are looking for and get peace & serenity.

Wow! Thank you so much for the effort you put into responding to me! I very much appreciate it. I looked at all the links and am rethinking drugs and drowning atp. It's just so hard to ctb, it's really frustrating :( And the SI stats are crazy. It's all just a lot to take in. Maybe I'll look at SN as an option. Thanks again and I wish peace for you as well :)