CTB to stay satisfied but missed the timing

[thrashisland]

My desire to CTB has always revolved around not having to experience the boring years of rotting away once I've experienced everything I wanted to experience. The fear of not being able to move and constant physical pain is my nightmare. NIghtmare enough that I'd literally wanna die before I reach that age.

And at a young age where I'm not even able to legally drink yet, I feel that I've reached that point. I've experienced everything I've ever wanted to do, see, or experience and now I'm done. I already made preparations such as distancing from everyone and living like it's my last few days alive to die in peace but of the day I planned to I got so busy and missed my window to ctb. So now I'm rotting away trying to figure out a new method since ever since that day the consequences of my preparations have come back to haunt me.

Has anyone have this same experience?

 

[Someone123]

I know people taking a similar approach to ctb, but I haven't heard of this in someone so young. I do wonder if significant motivations are loneliness or financial issues or some other stressors. It could be worth it to share why you feel so sad to see if people have ideas that might help, though I always support choice for ctb, people need to decide for themselves when the pain is too much. It could be worth a try to see if people might help some.

 

[cloakedbear]

omg yes this is quite similar to my experience. rather than any misery or depression (although that still exists), my interest in ctb was always because i felt like i've pretty much experienced what i've wanted to experience, and life is too boring and unfulfilling for me to stick around that long. especially since having to stay alive is so much maintenance, and it's hard for me to justify that when most days are dull and boring. i'm also not interested in seeing myself physically deteriorate.

 

[thrashisland]

I know people taking a similar approach to ctb, but I haven't heard of this in someone so young. I do wonder if significant motivations are loneliness or financial issues or some other stressors. It could be worth it to share why you feel so sad to see if people have ideas that might help, though I always support choice for ctb, people need to decide for themselves when the pain is too much. It could be worth a try to see if people might help some.

I think for my case is that I ended up being in a very privileged situation where I was able to get everything I wanted. My family had a burst of wealth and I was able to travel to many countries in the world, buy whatever I wanted, get whatever man I wanted and now that all my bucket list things that I didn't expect to ever achieve till I was old have been complete. I also recently got diagnosed with one of the hardest mental illnesses to deal with and since then the symptoms have been growing stronger and my memories of pure paradise are becoming more distant. I don't really think I need help I just want to rest with my happy memories in tact.

omg yes this is quite similar to my experience. rather than any misery or depression (although that still exists), my interest in ctb was always because i felt like i've pretty much experienced what i've wanted to experience, and life is too boring and unfulfilling for me to stick around that long. especially since having to stay alive is so much maintenance, and it's hard for me to justify that when most days are dull and boring. i'm also not interested in seeing myself physically deteriorate.

yes exactly! seeing yourself rot and deteriorate is terrifying. Especially seeing old people try so hard to be young again but can't stop the inevitable aging is just heartbreaking.