L
longglost
Member
- Jul 1, 2024
- 8
I've only been alive for twenty years but I've endured enough pain for a couple of lifetimes. After trying for almost 10 years to get professional help I always end up back in the same spot. I have gotten up so many times but I've had enough. I've been knocked through the floor this time and I don't have it in me to get back up. Everyone looks at me now and sees my mental illness written all over me. I'm completely alone and exhausted. The pain my mind puts me through is so bad it physically hurts my whole body. Everyone important to me has left me behind to get on with their life while I struggle to do literally anything because I feel so bad all the time. Everyone looks at me and sees the things I didn't/can't do in my life. But I know when I ctb everyone will remember me for the good parts of me. I know they'll remember all the good things about me and over time they'll forget about how broken I was. They'll celebrate the things I did in life and they'll reminisce about good memories. I can't fix my mental health. However I can be a good man in everyone's mind. I just have to ctb first. I've been doing everything I can to collect money tonight so tomorrow I can finally get the things I need to move on. I want everyone to love me again. I wish I could show them directly but I'm just so tired. Beyond tired.