Venting CTB Loneliness

[Rue89]

Yesterday I had made plans to ctb on Friday, then this feeling of loneliness came over me. That same feeling I had earlier this year, that I don't want to die alone. It's not doubts about ctb; I'm sure I want to and need to do this. It's hard to explain. I guess I just need to get over it, and any other ctb anxiety I have.

I don't know if I'll still try tomorrow or not. I set my alarm for 4am, the time I'd need to get up. I guess I'll have to see if I can even get myself out of bed. Ugh I feel pathetic. Sorry for another pointless venting post.

 

[Ghost2211]

It's always ok to vent. I'll always read and listen. A lot of people struggle with the concept of dying alone. Its up to you if you want to tackle the partners option, or find peace without doing it alone.

 

[whywere]

We are hear to help, so vent away. Yes ctb alone might not help tohave a peaceful journey. Love to you and whatever you decide, we are here for you.

 

[Trayus]

i would love to join you, but sadly i am in Europe - the states are a bit too far away. I hope you find someone to be with your in your final moments, nobody should die alone if they dont want to

If you truly find nobody in real life i would gladly join you via discord voice chat or teamspeak (or any free online chat program)

 

[greebo6]

Yesterday I had made plans to ctb on Friday, then this feeling of loneliness came over me. That same feeling I had earlier this year, that I don't want to die alone. It's not doubts about ctb; I'm sure I want to and need to do this. It's hard to explain. I guess I just need to get over it, and any other ctb anxiety I have.

I don't know if I'll still try tomorrow or not. I set my alarm for 4am, the time I'd need to get up. I guess I'll have to see if I can even get myself out of bed. Ugh I feel pathetic. Sorry for another pointless venting post.

Never have to apologise for venting. That's why we are all here. I suspect that particular feeling of 'loneliness' is not unusual. You are not pathetic.

 

[Stick]

It's not pathetic, emotions need to be communicated in order to be processed. In fact, it's a good thing that you are venting.
If you try or you don't try, it's okay. Loneliness is an awful feeling, and it makes sense why you feel the way you do. Even if it didn't, your feelings would still be valid. I hope it goes okay for you

 

[Shahanshah]

Yesterday I had made plans to ctb on Friday, then this feeling of loneliness came over me. That same feeling I had earlier this year, that I don't want to die alone. It's not doubts about ctb; I'm sure I want to and need to do this. It's hard to explain. I guess I just need to get over it, and any other ctb anxiety I have.

I don't know if I'll still try tomorrow or not. I set my alarm for 4am, the time I'd need to get up. I guess I'll have to see if I can even get myself out of bed. Ugh I feel pathetic. Sorry for another pointless venting post.

Which country you live.If you are from India then we can do it together.I am also feeling same as you.I wanted to die but when I imagine moments when I am dying it's horrible.

 

[Rue89]

Which country you live.If you are from India then we can do it together.I am also feeling same as you.I wanted to die but when I imagine moments when I am dying it's horrible.

I'm in the US.

 

[Shahanshah]

I'm in the US.

then you have to find another partner.

 

[littlered1497]

I have also been struggling with ctb anxiety. So sorry you're feeling this way. You are not pathetic.
- Which method have you chose?

 

[Rue89]

I have also been struggling with ctb anxiety. So sorry you're feeling this way. You are not pathetic.
- Which method have you chose?

SN

 

[littlered1497]

SN

thank you for replying. I hope this works out well for you if it is what you want friend.

 

[Lilacmoon]

Rue, good luck. You deserve peace from all of this. Loneliness is a hard part of it, but if this is what you want, then I hope you're able to fight through it. Vent all you want, it's okay. I'm afraid too.

 

[LonelyNick]

Humans are social creatures. Loneliness is your mind/body screaming for touch, communication and companionship. It's crazy how our genes wants us to gather to feel safe but society and technology makes us feel so isolated when we're the most connected globally we've ever been.

I hope you find peace. We all deserve peace, no matter the form it takes.

 

[Rn110bg101]

I comfort myself by thinking the feeling is temporary. I feel alone my whole life, it's okay if it last a few more minutes. Of course this doesn't work all the time but it's better than nothing.

I count on staying on this forum if, in the end, it's not enough for me to go peacefully.