IHurtTheOneILove
Experienced
- Dec 16, 2023
- 206
I have my CTB kit in my car waiting for me. It's my note, a necktie, 2 socks, and 2 edibles that I'm gonna take before I CTB so I can overcome SI. My note is lackluster but I rlly only care about what I leave to my ex so for them I recorded a few voice memos on my phone for them to listen to. I may be able to find love in the future, but I dont know if I want to knowing that what i once had was ruined solely by me.
Call it being a coward, but I'm ready to run away from all of this and atone for my mistake by ridding myself from existence. Theres a few things I'm gonna miss out on: my ex's radioshow finally going public, the date I told them I would call them (10/10), any future love opportunities, my birthday, my ex's birthday. I'm gonna be leaving ALOT behind I suppose but I think I'm okay with that for right now.
I hope my ex can see that I do genuinely regret what I did and can somehow forgive me in my death. I just miss them to much to continue living.
I feel shitty because they said "if you love me you won't kill yourself; this will traumatize me if you kill yourself and you won't be able to grow" but womp womp I fucked up so bad and it essentially ruined my life and I dont want to continue on soiled ground. My closest friends have basically all turned on me because of this and it's felt so isolating.
I'm planning on driving somewhere within the next week to CTB. I'm not sure where yet but we'll see what happens! I have life360 on my phone which makes this more difficult but I think I'll go somewhere secluded but near some stores.
I'll keep ya'll updated
Bump bcus I want a kit review/ tips
Call it being a coward, but I'm ready to run away from all of this and atone for my mistake by ridding myself from existence. Theres a few things I'm gonna miss out on: my ex's radioshow finally going public, the date I told them I would call them (10/10), any future love opportunities, my birthday, my ex's birthday. I'm gonna be leaving ALOT behind I suppose but I think I'm okay with that for right now.
I hope my ex can see that I do genuinely regret what I did and can somehow forgive me in my death. I just miss them to much to continue living.
I feel shitty because they said "if you love me you won't kill yourself; this will traumatize me if you kill yourself and you won't be able to grow" but womp womp I fucked up so bad and it essentially ruined my life and I dont want to continue on soiled ground. My closest friends have basically all turned on me because of this and it's felt so isolating.
I'm planning on driving somewhere within the next week to CTB. I'm not sure where yet but we'll see what happens! I have life360 on my phone which makes this more difficult but I think I'll go somewhere secluded but near some stores.
I'll keep ya'll updated
Bump bcus I want a kit review/ tips
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