Discussion CTB is the ULTIMATE leap of faith

[Illegal Preclear]

That's really how it be. Setting aside the fact of the fear and uncertainty of the process itself, all of us who are here, who have accepted that the only way forward is through death, are cosmonauts embarking on the ultimate journey. We are moving to "The Undiscovered Country" as Shakespeare put it. I'm writing this because I want everyone here to appreciate how truly courageous they are to face the absolute unknown. A lot of us are here because we're disabled and no longer have a shot at a viable quality of life. Some of us are here because of external circumstances such as losing loved ones, careers ending or extreme poverty. Some of us are just here because they are just plain dissatisfied with this area of the physical universe we inhabit. As they should be. The first step to true freedom is to realize you're in prison - and this is objectively a prison planet.

I see people here who condemn all existence, and I don't blame them - if life on Earth in this narrow spectrum of visible light in our carbon 666 meat vessels (carbon has 6 Protons, 6 Neutrons and 6 Electrons) was all the existence there is, then existence would absolutely be objectively garbage. But I believe there is so much existence outside of the narrow slit window of the visible light spectrum. Outside of these physical meat bodies. Outside this planet, outside this dimension. Existence in forms we can't comprehend while trapped in these meat vessels.

I've always believed this, from my earliest memories. From my earliest memories I knew I wasn't from this world. There is a real phenomenon of children having "before life memories" that many ascribe to the existence of past lives, but it wasn't even an Earthly past life for me. I had memories as a child of existing in a complete different state of being, in a different world, and I was sucked into an energy vortex and trapped on this planet. I REMEMBER entering "the Matrix". Of course, the Psychroaches diagnosed me with Autism and early onset Schizoaffective Disorder and drugged me up to my eyeballs on top of abusing me so I was done with life before I could even read. But mental illness or not, I've kept this belief alive.

All of us, before we were entrapped on this Prison Planet, existed as PURE ENERGY. For whatever reason, we were taken from that pure state and thrust into 666 meat vessels created by other people trapped in 666 meat vessels reproducing because that's what they're PROGRAMMED to do.

Whether by incident or accident, we here have broken that programming. Attachment to life on this Planet, fear of death, and that PESKY, NASTY SI is like a house arrest anklet tethering us to this prison of the Demiurge (in essence, Satan). I think this is something we should be proud of. You're not CTBing because you are a failure or you're a coward. Your personal fate has lead you to the point where you want to, or have to CTB, because you have a greater journey ahead of you - and to take the first leap of that journey, the act of CTB itself, you're tasked with doing something that requires so much courage. You're defying everything you're forcibly programmed to do and believe on a biological and psychological level - that's hardcore. Really, really hardcore.

When the rope around my neck severs my chains to this Prison Planet, I fully intend to spit in the face of the Demiurge on my way out.

 

[esistzeit]

Ignorant people often say suicidal ones are weak and cowardly. When faced with utter misery do these pretentious people have the courage to kill themselves? I think not. They know nothing. People who condemn suicide have never felt the pain.

I also believe there is more. I am not sure what it is exactly but I am excited to find out. I wrote a whole post about it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I wish I could remember where I heard it. I think it was a film or TV series but, one of the characters stated that a real gambler chooses life. I thought that was so weird and incorrect. Death is surely the bigger risk because we have no idea what happens afterwards. Most crap in life we've already seen or seen happen to someone else.

But yeah, I agree. The unknown element to it frightens me. I think it is courageous to face it early. Still- we will be having to face it regardless at some point. We all die sooner or later. Then I suppose it becomes whether you believe the act of suicide has any afterlife repercussions. Personally, I'm hoping for nothing after this. That seems a great deal safer. It would be nicest if we all got to choose for ourselves I suppose.

 

[MountainMan99]

Ignorant people often say suicidal ones are weak and cowardly. When faced with utter misery do these pretentious people have the courage to kill themselves? I think not. They know nothing. People who condemn suicide have never felt the pain.

I also believe there is more. I am not sure what it is exactly but I am excited to find out. I wrote a whole post about it.

Suicidal people are not weak and cowards, it takes big balls to end your life and go through all the survival instinct.

I think that most suicidal people do it because they have been way too strong and have endured way too much pain in this life, and it's a brave act to end it at all despite not knowing what will happen afterwards (if anything happens)

But i also have to give credit to the few people who where suicidal, and decided to live despite of the suicidal thoughts and impulses, i will be honest, in my opinion, that even takes more courage to keep living when your mind wants you to die..

 

[seraph189]

Amazing read

 

[Illegal Preclear]

Amazing read

Thank you! I like to share my thoughts on suicide through a Gnostic lens. Pro-Life insanity makes a lot more sense when you consider we may indeed be ruled by an evil false god who wants as many souls trapped in meat vessels as possible so he can feed off of their suffering! So many people here have been lied to and psychologically abused by the people of this world regarding their intentions to CTB and I just want to shatter as many of those lies as I can. Especially for the many Disabled folks on here like myself.

Ignorant people often say suicidal ones are weak and cowardly. When faced with utter misery do these pretentious people have the courage to kill themselves? I think not. They know nothing. People who condemn suicide have never felt the pain.

To such people, I always remind them of this: Nobody is immune from becoming Disabled. Everyone is one accident away from having their quality of life permanently destroyed. We'll see how they feel about suicide after a drunk driver plows into them causing them to have a catastrophic head injury, leaving them permanently brain damaged, but just conscious enough to realize how brain damaged they are, and that they'll never be the way they were before the crash (while the drunk driver walks away without a scratch just to drive home how unfair the situation is).

But I also believe there is a spiritual, esoteric reason for the knee-jerk reaction pro-life normies have toward suicide. There's a reason they never think about it logically, only emotionally. I believe our DNA is hard-coded to be anti-suicide even when it makes no sense to be because that DNA was coded by a truly evil creator (the "god" of the Old Testament, who is known as the Demiurge by the name of Yaldobaoth). Even then - you don't have to be spiritual about it. If you don't have the freedom to die, you are not free. Period. It's just NOT LOGICAL to force a Disabled person whose quality of life is completely gone to live for the sake of living. Why are we forcing ANYONE to live for the sake of living when resources on this Planet are limited and each human requires resources? A person who wants to be dead making themselves dead is a net benefit on society in a purely logical sense.

There was actually a time when Doctors believed if you could not heal someone, it was their sacred duty to deliver them unto mercy via Euthanasia, but such movements are always crushed.

I wish I could remember where I heard it. I think it was a film or TV series but, one of the characters stated that a real gambler chooses life. I thought that was so weird and incorrect. Death is surely the bigger risk because we have no idea what happens afterwards. Most crap in life we've already seen or seen happen to someone else.

But yeah, I agree. The unknown element to it frightens me.

It frightens me to! But that's what makes it such an adventurous leap of faith. As for the gamble - Disability has completely rotted my body and brain. There are no possibilities for me in life anymore. But in death - that could open the door to unimaginable possibilities for me. The sure bet is, I won't be Disabled anymore!

 

[smaragdyne]

This is one of the most important threads on this website. I couldn't have said any of it better myself. It's always reassuring to know we've managed to "smuggle" this spiritual truth into the fallen material world.

I, too, have found the answers I always sought about the world when I discovered Gnostic philosophy/cosmogony. It seems you're a bigger threat than I am to this "misery factory" we call the universe (that is, you've clearly faced a greater share of setbacks than I). Nonetheless, you still manage to rise above and share gnosis with others.

I would add that we should value this part of our material incarceration; that is, the fact that we can all know some qualities of the unknowable Monad by their emanation down through existence into us, even into this twisted hell created by the jealous false god. The fact is that we can focus our tortured existence on what really matters: regaining peace, unity, love, in this world or the previous.

This is the way to get "payback" for what we've been put through: rejecting the pain and evil of matter and material things. There is really no greater good in an existential sense. If the best way to do that is by catching the bus, then so be it. I hope I've added something worthy of consideration.

Again, great post. (Should be stickied, IMO)