redisblue
"cut me clean, till i can't think anymore."
- Feb 12, 2023
- 135
All I can think about recently is ctb. When I go to sleep, I hope that I don't wake up. When I'm travelling, I look around at all the potential ways I could ctb. When I'm at college, I completely zone out and wish I was dead. When I'm at home, I'm constantly researching ways to ctb. I need to die so badly. I can't take it anymore. I know I'm young, but I can't stop feeling like this. I want to leave. I wish death was easier. I'm so tired of it all. I'm so close snapping or breaking down in front of my friends or family - I don't know how to control my emotions anymore. Last night I relapsed with self-harm and it gave me a short high but ultimately I feel even more like shit. All I want is to close my eyes and sleep forever.