Venting CTB Failed (kinda?)

joegoes100 · 2026-02-01T23:45:48-0600

Got done writing my note so I started working on tying the knots and then I heard my brother's door slam open (I'm 18 living with parents in highschool) and hear him running. Obviously I start to clean up and hide my stuff, and then I hear him violently start puking and my family wakes up. I'm going to take this as a sign to think on it more I guess, because this timing is actually insane.

SufferingDev · 2026-02-01T23:58:09-0600

Careful planning man - I know it can be hard doing it in parents' house but it is doable - maybe you could try some less visible method? Like SN?

joegoes100 · 2026-02-02T00:01:45-0600

SufferingDev said:
Careful planning man - I know it can be hard doing it in parents' house but it is doable - maybe you could try some less visible method? Like SN?

It wasn't the best planning, but I waited an hour after everyone was sleeping. I don't believe it fate or destiny but I'm shooken up by this completely, he could've had that happen in any hour of the night and it was minutes before I killed my self.
I live in the US so I think SN is unobtainable from what I've heard.

SufferingDev · 2026-02-02T00:03:40-0600

joegoes100 said:
It wasn't the best planning, but I waited an hour after everyone was sleeping. I don't believe it fate or destiny but I'm shooken up by this completely, he could've had that happen in any hour of the night and it was minutes before I killed my self.
I live in the US so I think SN is unobtainable from what I've heard.

Are there times when you are alone? Doing it while they sleep is not a good idea

joegoes100 · 2026-02-02T00:04:59-0600

SufferingDev said:
Are there times when you are alone? Doing it while they sleep is not a good idea

No not really. Always at least one person.
I can't stop thinking about how'd they react to me dead now, it's making me feel so guilty but it's making me feel like I can't even attempt again man.

SufferingDev · 2026-02-02T00:06:21-0600

joegoes100 said:
No not really. Always at least one person.
I can't stop thinking about how'd they react to me dead now, it's making me feel so guilty but it's making me feel like I can't even attempt again man.

Well - that sucks, again would not recommend it - especially now.

Second - don't feel guilty - it's your life.

Third - if you are not yet ready, give yourself a chance and come back once ready, or even better - don't come back at all - you don't have any obligation to.

joegoes100 · 2026-02-02T00:10:34-0600

SufferingDev said:
Well - that sucks, again would not recommend it - especially now.

Second - don't feel guilty - it's your life.

Third - if you are not yet ready, give yourself a chance and come back once ready, or even better - don't come back at all - you don't have any obligation to.

I think I have to give my self another chance. This completely changed how I thought about everything. I feel so weird for changing so much so fast tho, maybe this is what I needed? I don't know how to say it but I feel like I'm free from my self. I'm just so confused right nowz

SufferingDev · 2026-02-02T00:12:22-0600

joegoes100 said:
I think I have to give my self another chance. This completely changed how I thought about everything. I feel so weird for changing so much so fast tho, maybe this is what I needed? I don't know how to say it but I feel like I'm free from my self. I'm just so confused right nowz

Give yourself time, it's okay - I had like 5 attempts in my life I know how it is like.

Take it easy...you just tried doing something big. Calm down, relax. Take and ask for any help you need - whatever path you choose, good luck out there

kufajoy · 2026-02-02T00:13:05-0600

Hey I'm glad you are still with us. Take your time to decide next time. Really gald you are back

joegoes100 · 2026-02-02T00:17:41-0600

kufajoy said:
Hey I'm glad you are still with us. Take your time to decide next time. Really gald you are back

Thank you!!

SufferingDev said:
Give yourself time, it's okay - I had like 5 attempts in my life I know how it is like.

Take it easy...you just tried doing something big. Calm down, relax. Take and ask for any help you need - whatever path you choose, good luck out there

Thank you! I wish you luck too friend

rainrainrain · 2026-02-02T01:35:33-0600

Yeah that timing is crazy.. probably a very small chance you're still here today given that setup, and yet here you are.

Take some time and try and see if things feel different. Glad you're still around!!

joegoes100 · 2026-02-02T02:13:41-0600

rainrainrain said:
Yeah that timing is crazy.. probably a very small chance you're still here today given that setup, and yet here you are.

Take some time and try and see if things feel different. Glad you're still around!!

I know it's kinda bizarre. Thank you!

xriddlex · 2026-02-02T02:40:16-0600

joegoes100 said:
It wasn't the best planning, but I waited an hour after everyone was sleeping. I don't believe it fate or destiny but I'm shooken up by this completely, he could've had that happen in any hour of the night and it was minutes before I killed my self.
I live in the US so I think SN is unobtainable from what I've heard.

Isnt it easier in the US? considering there are people willing to send to individuals? I have heard so. Here in Norway it is close to impossible

Venting CTB Failed (kinda?)

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