CTB due to love addiction

[SOWM]

Does anyone else feel like being addicted to the feeling of being in love is apart of the reason they want to ctb?

Since I was a child I've always thought that love and romance was the only purpose to life, I've never found anything else that makes me feel happy or fulfilled, regardless of what else is going good in my life I always feel empty when I don't have anyone to share it all with.

Maybe this sounds delusional but through my teenage years I always believed in soulmates and love. I genuinely thought the person I was with was my soulmate and that we would be in love forever, I had everything I wanted in life to be honest I felt so happy and complete. Obviously this person left and I found out they were lying to and manipulating me anyway. I've kind of realised In the last year that my expectations of relationships and perceptions of love are unrealistic, I've always felt like I need to meet someone in my late teens or early 20s and start a family etc and stay together forever, now that time is running out for me to do that and I've realised that basically doesn't happen to most people I don't really have anything to live for anymore. Plus I don't even know if genuine love is real anymore, everyone is basically superficial, Im not religious but I know some kind of divine internvention put me together with my ex and our souls just have been attached to each other somehow but I don't know if that sort of miracle is ever going to happen again. Even if it does it'll probably be too late because sharing youth together with my soulmate is apart of my perception of love. I basically don't have any time or hope left.

I feel pretty ashamed writing that because it seems so immature but it's just how I've felt my entire life.
Ps: I'm sorry if it I didn't articulate myself very well but I've never attempted to explain this before.

 

[madbananas]

I rarely genuinely connect with people and only have a couple of times in my life, and the outcome for both has been extremely painful for me to the point where I want to ctb as well (a huge factor). I believe in that instant connection with people which I am aware of because I get that when it's people I don't find typically physically attractive. I just get a sense and as me and the person get to know each other it proves how compatible we are. I believe I've met a soulmate and my twin flame. Sorry I can't be of much help but I'm here if you wish to talk more because it's not a completely uncommon experience, as lonely as it feels. I know the pain all too well and people think I'm crazy. There are YouTube videos for people who experience soulmate and twin flame connections though and they are very supportive! *hugs*

 

[GoBack]

Makes sense to me, I've lived for love my whole life. We do have more than one soulmate, life is too unpredictable not to. I don't think we're ever too old for that. But I lost two and truly don't want another one . Can't take anymore loss

 

[niemand]

This is me in a nutshell. Dependent on love, addicted to it, constantly thinking about love and romance and finally meeting the love of my life, making up romantic scenarios in my head.. I would never reveal that to anybody, having those thoughts is utterly embarassing to me. Wouldn't have thought that anybody else can describe it that well as if they feel the same way, but seems like I'm not alone with this. I think that this longing is one of the main causes for my suicidality, knowing that you'll never get what you painfully wish for.. But that's just my humble yet convinced prediction

 

[madbananas]

This is me in a nutshell. Dependent on love, addicted to it, constantly thinking about love and romance and finally meeting the love of my life, making up romantic scenarios in my head.. I would never reveal that to anybody, having those thoughts is utterly embarassing to me. Wouldn't have thought that anybody else can describe it that well as if they feel the same way, but seems like I'm not alone with this. I think that this longing is one of the main causes for my suicidality, knowing that you'll never get what you painfully wish for.. But that's just my humble yet convinced prediction

you have hit the nail on the head. I feel so embarrassed by it and I've regretted telling people about it. It's so painful not being able to tell someone you love them because of whatever circumstances (mine are quite specific but not illegal in any way lol - I'm bisexual who connects to people quite older than me). If I describe the intensity of my love I feel people will assume I'm a danger, which I'm not at all (apart from towards myself). It feels like a curse.

 

[KleinerWolf]

In my opinion relationships not working out is meant to teach us things.
Life is not perfect. In fact it sucks sometimes but it is supposedly going to make us stronger and wiser.

For me personally, I don't think love should be the primary factor that measures life quality.

At end of the day, you can't put a time and date for your soul-mate to show up in your life.
I don't think there is anything wrong with having an ex or two before you eventually find your soul mates.

Good things/Meaningful relationships take time, don't they?

It's worth the wait.

 

[itsamadworld]

Does anyone else feel like being addicted to the feeling of being in love is apart of the reason they want to ctb?

Since I was a child I've always thought that love and romance was the only purpose to life, I've never found anything else that makes me feel happy or fulfilled, regardless of what else is going good in my life I always feel empty when I don't have anyone to share it all with.

Maybe this sounds delusional but through my teenage years I always believed in soulmates and love. I genuinely thought the person I was with was my soulmate and that we would be in love forever, I had everything I wanted in life to be honest I felt so happy and complete. Obviously this person left and I found out they were lying to and manipulating me anyway. I've kind of realised In the last year that my expectations of relationships and perceptions of love are unrealistic, I've always felt like I need to meet someone in my late teens or early 20s and start a family etc and stay together forever, now that time is running out for me to do that and I've realised that basically doesn't happen to most people I don't really have anything to live for anymore. Plus I don't even know if genuine love is real anymore, everyone is basically superficial, Im not religious but I know some kind of divine internvention put me together with my ex and our souls just have been attached to each other somehow but I don't know if that sort of miracle is ever going to happen again. Even if it does it'll probably be too late because sharing youth together with my soulmate is apart of my perception of love. I basically don't have any time or hope left.

I feel pretty ashamed writing that because it seems so immature but it's just how I've felt my entire life.
Ps: I'm sorry if it I didn't articulate myself very well but I've never attempted to explain this before.

I kind of get what you're saying. I have BPD, so I tend to have favorite people. So I really wanted a soul-mate where we would share our lives together But I never wanted children, but I did want to find my soulmate!! I was so HOPEFUL.......BUT ....THen I discovered after two divorces and realizing that not only do I have an anger problem due to being physically and emotionally abused quite frequently throughout my childhood, BUT that I tend to choose religious men who are OVERYLY critical over me., another familiar pattern......SO I discovered that marriage was just never in the cards for me....I have accepted this. And this too! is just one of my top 3 reasons why i want to CBT....

 

[SOWM]

In my opinion relationships not working out is meant to teach us things.
Life is not perfect. In fact it sucks sometimes but it is supposedly going to make us stronger and wiser.

For me personally, I don't think love should be the primary factor that measures life quality.

At end of the day, you can't put a time and date for your soul-mate to show up in your life.
I don't think there is anything wrong with having an ex or two before you eventually find your soul mates.

Good things/Meaningful relationships take time, don't they?

It's worth the wait.

I wish I was balanced enough to think like this but I have some kind of imbalance in my personality that makes me obsessed with love and fairytale perceptions of romance that will probably never happen in real life. I can't think of any factor that impacts my life quality even slightly as much as love, I think that's normal to some extent, for example most people would say their child/parents/significant other are the most important things in their life but for me it's even more extreme.

I know there's nothing wrong with having a couple of ex's but heartbreak just makes me believe a bit less in love and makes me feel more empty, everyday that passes without being with my soulmate makes everything a bit less special as I feel like I'm missing out on sharing my youth with them and if my my idealised views of romance and love can't be a reality I just can't see any other reason to live.

I know that's probably sounds immature and weird but I can't help how obsessed I am with sharing my entire life with my soulmate, it's the only thing I've ever lived for and I just don't think I could ever accept that not being a reality.

 

[madbananas]

I wish I was balanced enough to think like this but I have some kind of imbalance in my personality that makes me obsessed with love and fairytale perceptions of romance that will probably never happen in real life. I can't think of any factor that impacts my life quality even slightly as much as love, I think that's normal to some extent, for example most people would say their child/parents/significant other are the most important things in their life but for me it's even more extreme.

I know there's nothing wrong with having a couple of ex's but heartbreak just makes me believe a bit less in love and makes me feel more empty, everyday that passes without being with my soulmate makes everything a bit less special as I feel like I'm missing out on sharing my youth with them and if my my idealised views of romance and love can't be a reality I just can't see any other reason to live.

I know that's probably sounds immature and weird but I can't help how obsessed I am with sharing my entire life with my soulmate, it's the only thing I've ever lived for and I just don't think I could ever accept that not being a reality.

I'm the same but I think we should be kinder to ourselves *hugs*. Many people jump from relationship to relationship probably searching for that oneness with another and potentially never getting it despite how it appears. I feel like both Cathy and Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights lol. I met who I believe is my twin flame and we are so compatible, like basically the same but our flaws complement each other's strengths so it's like we could learn from each other, the puzzle piece that fits and all that jazz haha. This is the person that has triggered me more than ever and now I've slightly awakened to the spiritual aspect of the world (apparently common when you meet a twin flame).
When I met the other person, we clicked straight away, there was that magnetic pull. It didn't feel as intense though and triggered grief but nothing that made me learn anything from it. I still however feel a connection to this person literally 4 years later.
I also hate it when people tell me I don't actually love the person. I think I'm maybe so empathic that intuitively know a person and almost feel that compatibility at first sight. And it's not lust at first site because I don't fancy them haha it's just like a switch goes on and there is a pull to be around them.
because of these intense two connections which haven't come to anything I have never been in a relationship. But I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone I don't feel that connection with. Hence why I want to ctb. The main reason but not the only one!

 

[Pupu]

I would not use word addicted but what you wrote down sounded familiar. I always kept telling around to people "You can not get happiness from relationship if you can't be happy alone too" and sure that is the deal. I still believe that is correct thinking but I've once fell in love or had a huge crush on (I don't have emotions like this generally, and I don't fancy people by their look either I'm almost asexual in that sense) and it just triggered my own personal mental problems even more. It did no good and I feel just more salty towards things. I think that word "love" is so broad word that when there is two person telling they love each other they still are talking in different language or atleast mean different things by it. I admit my idea of love is immature, childish and I fall on black and white thinking. But I can't change it just like I can't change other people too. It is not only reason to ctb but is one among others. I don't understand the philosophy of "Learning what life is really about", that I just should learn to accept all hardship and unfairness. People tend to think the younger person is the more sad thing it is she/he died (just like your look and skin colour can effect to your "value") so how about thinking it this way? Before my mind turns totally envy and salty, isn't it better to let go when there is still that part of immature thinking which is so "beautiful". If I want to ctb does it mean I already have to be dead inside for years before I can go?

 

[NekoNomNom]

This.

I've been able to handle every stupid, terrible thing that's happened in my life, but losing my ex was what did it for me. I am one of those individuals who needs, not just wants, companionship and love. I've had a string of terrible partners to try and crave that lonely feeling. Then I found the perfect person for me; I had my soulmate...but I messed it all up. I'm trying so hard to get him back, but it's amounted to nothing so far, and I'm not getting any better. I miss him terribly.

 

[codewarrior]

Even I thought and could relate about love but finally life gave me enough reasons to believe it was all illusion. All that mattered to people around was money.

 

[madbananas]

I would not use word addicted but what you wrote down sounded familiar. I always kept telling around to people "You can not get happiness from relationship if you can't be happy alone too" and sure that is the deal. I still believe that is correct thinking but I've once fell in love or had a huge crush on (I don't have emotions like this generally, and I don't fancy people by their look either I'm almost asexual in that sense) and it just triggered my own personal mental problems even more. It did no good and I feel just more salty towards things. I think that word "love" is so broad word that when there is two person telling they love each other they still are talking in different language or atleast mean different things by it. I admit my idea of love is immature, childish and I fall on black and white thinking. But I can't change it just like I can't change other people too. It is not only reason to ctb but is one among others. I don't understand the philosophy of "Learning what life is really about", that I just should learn to accept all hardship and unfairness. People tend to think the younger person is the more sad thing it is she/he died (just like your look and skin colour can effect to your "value") so how about thinking it this way? Before my mind turns totally envy and salty, isn't it better to let go when there is still that part of immature thinking which is so "beautiful". If I want to ctb does it mean I already have to be dead inside for years before I can go?

I somewhat relate to what you're saying. Me falling in love has absolutely triggered my own psychological "deficits" which are ultimately preventing me from loving myself. It's absolutely not easy.
not saying you should or should not look this up, but I find YouTube videos about this kind of thing helpful. Cultures surrounding spirituality would suggest a potential twin flame relationship, if it's one which could potentially trigger your own personal growth (even though the pain caused by it feels like another reason to just ctb). Again, I'm not suggesting you do or don't, it's just another perspective out there as to why we meet people who we have intense relationships with/crushes on. I also like it because it's not like the medical model which pathologizes absolutely everything on earth that is different from the norm. The law of attraction also supports the whole spiritual perspective of this kind of connection :)

 

[purplesmoothie]

Definitely for me. I feel too ugly to be loved it's hard to explain but that's the main reason I want to ctb

 

[SOWM]

Definitely for me. I feel too ugly to be loved it's hard to explain but that's the main reason I want to ctb

I felt that before I was ever in a relationship so I understand it. I still feel now like there is something inadequate about me that makes me basically unloveable.

I don't think any individual is too ugly to be loved, or that anyone is unloveable for any other reason, the perceptions we have of people are too subjective for that to be the case and there's certainly people in loving relationships who are "ugly" by normal beauty standards (like people who are morbidly obese or have obvious disfigurements or disabilities). + most people can influence their appearance to some extent via exercise, lifestyle, investing in grooming etc. Some of us have been extremely unlucky and will find it very difficult to the extent that it's almost impossible to find someone who loves us and I understand why one would rather ctb then go through life miserably chasing something that is almost entirely unattainable but I also firmly believe that love/romance is the only purpose we have in this existence and every person is inherently capable of fulfilling their purpose in life.

 

[sadgirl2002]

Does anyone else feel like being addicted to the feeling of being in love is apart of the reason they want to ctb?

Since I was a child I've always thought that love and romance was the only purpose to life, I've never found anything else that makes me feel happy or fulfilled, regardless of what else is going good in my life I always feel empty when I don't have anyone to share it all with.

Maybe this sounds delusional but through my teenage years I always believed in soulmates and love. I genuinely thought the person I was with was my soulmate and that we would be in love forever, I had everything I wanted in life to be honest I felt so happy and complete. Obviously this person left and I found out they were lying to and manipulating me anyway. I've kind of realised In the last year that my expectations of relationships and perceptions of love are unrealistic, I've always felt like I need to meet someone in my late teens or early 20s and start a family etc and stay together forever, now that time is running out for me to do that and I've realised that basically doesn't happen to most people I don't really have anything to live for anymore. Plus I don't even know if genuine love is real anymore, everyone is basically superficial, Im not religious but I know some kind of divine internvention put me together with my ex and our souls just have been attached to each other somehow but I don't know if that sort of miracle is ever going to happen again. Even if it does it'll probably be too late because sharing youth together with my soulmate is apart of my perception of love. I basically don't have any time or hope left.

I feel pretty ashamed writing that because it seems so immature but it's just how I've felt my entire life.
Ps: I'm sorry if it I didn't articulate myself very well but I've never attempted to explain this before.

I feel the same way, I'm such a hopeless romantic and I was always fantasizing about true love and marriage especially throughout my teen years, I still do it. I'm literally dependant and addicted to the idea of love. When I was driven to CTB within the last few months of 2017 and I was ready to end my life in 2018, I knew I would never find "the one". I felt like I didn't want that anymore, I was no longer deserving of it. I waited all those years in high school until my life became worse which is when I told myself that I'm never getting married or having kids and I'm just going to kill myself. A week before my CTB date... I found my true love on this forum.

All my life since childhood until now, I knew that my only purpose in life was to have true love. Love is the only thing that makes life worth living. Like the Beatles said: "All you need is love".

There are so many songs, films, novels, poems and books of literature about this one emotion, it shows how important it truly is. Nothing else will make me truly happy other than having true love with my soulmate. I know how you feel, I also feel the emptiness when I'm devoid of love. I think being deprived from love in my household is another reason why I've always been aching and yearning for true love. I need true love from a man to make me happy, I know I've found my true love but I'm just waiting for him to come back. Humans can't live alone, at least for a very long time. By nature, we want another soul to share our life with, we can't live without tenderness. This will just lead us to kill ourselves.

It's not delusional at all, I was exactly the same as you... I still am. I can still remember sitting in class, especially my Geography lessons, daydreaming about how my life would be if I had love in my life. I would daydream all day whilst listening to songs. If I listen to any of the songs I listened to back then, the ones I listened to throughout the years and even the songs I listen to right now, I can relive the dreams I made in my head. I've done nothing but daydream for my entire life. I'm sorry that the one you loved ended up leaving but it's also good because they were manipulative, you don't need a terrible and toxic person in your life. Being abandoned by a loved one is a pain that many of us on here share, myself included... just know that you're not alone. I also felt that I was being unrealistic and trust me, my high standards and unrealistic traits I wanted in a guy made have an odd hope and yet, when I told myself in my mind that I will never get married or have kids, I found my perfect guy a few months later. I was 19 when I met him and he was 20, I still have hope we will be together one day. I would rather die than be without him, he's the only reason I backed out of suicide. I have nothing to live for other than him and my pain and suffering will follow me everywhere. I always believed in genuine love but I understand how you're starting to not believing in it, especially because of the horrible people in this society. I think true love comes unexpectedly when you're not looking for it. You're right about people being superficial, it's disgusting. I hate how terrible people are and how fake everything is. Do you think things could work out with you and your ex? Maybe they will one day and you're definitely not immature. If this is how you feel and since we're only a small percentage of people who believe in true love, soulmates and such then we are all immature and these other people will just have to deal with that!

Anyway, I truly hope you find love in this world so you can be happy. Whenever you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I know how lonely it can be, knowing there aren't many like us. Sending you hugs x

I rarely genuinely connect with people and only have a couple of times in my life, and the outcome for both has been extremely painful for me to the point where I want to ctb as well (a huge factor). I believe in that instant connection with people which I am aware of because I get that when it's people I don't find typically physically attractive. I just get a sense and as me and the person get to know each other it proves how compatible we are. I believe I've met a soulmate and my twin flame. Sorry I can't be of much help but I'm here if you wish to talk more because it's not a completely uncommon experience, as lonely as it feels. I know the pain all too well and people think I'm crazy. There are YouTube videos for people who experience soulmate and twin flame connections though and they are very supportive! *hugs*

I'm the same as you, I rarely connect with others as well. I lost my first true connection with my best friend and sister of 8 years and losing her has made me even more hate filled and numb. I'll never find another one like her, she was my everything. I believe in soulmates where you connect instantly and I have found my true love. We are so compatible, it's crazy... we are the same soul and I truly believe that he is my twin flame. I only knew of this concept a few months ago and I can resonate with the signs. I feel like I'm crazy and people around me would think the same. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Hugs x

 

[Iamnotperminant92]

I used to believe there was some magic kind of 'other half' and to some extent I still hold it as a possibility. But I don't feel as much of a need to get close to people in such a way that I'm emotionally dependent. I would still love to be in a stable/happy forever relationship but it's a unicorn scenario. People are complicated, irrational, messy. Relationships get complicated and messy.

A safe platonic relationship is good as any romantic one if not better. I can love someone intensely while not wanting to hold on to them or define a relationship. There are people that I've known only for a couple months that made a large impact on me. One of them sadly died a few months after I met her. Another disappeared (not so much of their own volition but by coercion) from our tight knit group and I only heard from them 2 years later.

I guess I learned to embrace people 'as a child would' with less definitions and be OK with impermanence

 

[sadgirl2002]

This is me in a nutshell. Dependent on love, addicted to it, constantly thinking about love and romance and finally meeting the love of my life, making up romantic scenarios in my head.. I would never reveal that to anybody, having those thoughts is utterly embarassing to me. Wouldn't have thought that anybody else can describe it that well as if they feel the same way, but seems like I'm not alone with this. I think that this longing is one of the main causes for my suicidality, knowing that you'll never get what you painfully wish for.. But that's just my humble yet convinced prediction

I can relate to everything you've said, I'm constantly daydreaing about love and romance, making so many scenarios in my head for over the last 10 years. I could never tell anyone about the things I dream about, it's very... well, what people would call "cheesy" nowadays. I know this yearning is one of the main reasons to CTB for me but it's also the only reason I'm still here. I'm sending you hugs, I hope you find true love

I'm the same but I think we should be kinder to ourselves *hugs*. Many people jump from relationship to relationship probably searching for that oneness with another and potentially never getting it despite how it appears. I feel like both Cathy and Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights lol. I met who I believe is my twin flame and we are so compatible, like basically the same but our flaws complement each other's strengths so it's like we could learn from each other, the puzzle piece that fits and all that jazz haha. This is the person that has triggered me more than ever and now I've slightly awakened to the spiritual aspect of the world (apparently common when you meet a twin flame).
When I met the other person, we clicked straight away, there was that magnetic pull. It didn't feel as intense though and triggered grief but nothing that made me learn anything from it. I still however feel a connection to this person literally 4 years later.
I also hate it when people tell me I don't actually love the person. I think I'm maybe so empathic that intuitively know a person and almost feel that compatibility at first sight. And it's not lust at first site because I don't fancy them haha it's just like a switch goes on and there is a pull to be around them.
because of these intense two connections which haven't come to anything I have never been in a relationship. But I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone I don't feel that connection with. Hence why I want to ctb. The main reason but not the only one!

You're right about people jumping from one person to another, I knew I never wanted that though... I knew this at 13. I only want one person and to be with only that one person and to make it work as much as we can. Oh my gosh... you love Wuthering Heights too?! I literally feel like Cathy when she says: "I don't just love Heathcliff, I am Heathcliff. All my thoughts, all my actions are for him. He's my only reason for living!"

I am so glad you have met your twin flame, it's a difficult situation indeed but I hope you can be together! It's such a beautiful connection and I'm glad to have come across someone who has also met their twin flame and true love. Everything you have said, it's the same as the situation I'm in. We are truly the same soul, we've been through the same things, we've wanted the same things and we even have the same mindsets on things. I've never met anyone like him. We connected instantly and it was such a surprise, I have also become more spiritual and I'm glad for that. In August, it will be two years since we met and the connection is still strong. I love him, I always did and I always will... I hope we can be together one day. The people around me have put me down in the past because of it and it made me hurt myself but honestly, I know how real it was for me and I don't need to prove anything to anyone. I fell in love with his soul before I saw his face and I don't know what can be more beautiful. I felt like I knew him, it was such a strange feeling but it's a common feeling between soulmates. I hope things work out for you

 

[SOWM]

I feel the same way, I'm such a hopeless romantic and I was always fantasizing about true love and marriage especially throughout my teen years, I still do it. I'm literally dependant and addicted to the idea of love. When I was driven to CTB within the last few months of 2017 and I was ready to end my life in 2018, I knew I would never find "the one". I felt like I didn't want that anymore, I was no longer deserving of it. I waited all those years in high school until my life became worse which is when I told myself that I'm never getting married or having kids and I'm just going to kill myself. A week before my CTB date... I found my true love on this forum.

All my life since childhood until now, I knew that my only purpose in life was to have true love. Love is the only thing that makes life worth living. Like the Beatles said: "All you need is love".

There are so many songs, films, novels, poems and books of literature about this one emotion, it shows how important it truly is. Nothing else will make me truly happy other than having true love with my soulmate. I know how you feel, I also feel the emptiness when I'm devoid of love. I think being deprived from love in my household is another reason why I've always been aching and yearning for true love. I need true love from a man to make me happy, I know I've found my true love but I'm just waiting for him to come back. Humans can't live alone, at least for a very long time. By nature, we want another soul to share our life with, we can't live without tenderness. This will just lead us to kill ourselves.

It's not delusional at all, I was exactly the same as you... I still am. I can still remember sitting in class, especially my Geography lessons, daydreaming about how my life would be if I had love in my life. I would daydream all day whilst listening to songs. If I listen to any of the songs I listened to back then, the ones I listened to throughout the years and even the songs I listen to right now, I can relive the dreams I made in my head. I've done nothing but daydream for my entire life. I'm sorry that the one you loved ended up leaving but it's also good because they were manipulative, you don't need a terrible and toxic person in your life. Being abandoned by a loved one is a pain that many of us on here share, myself included... just know that you're not alone. I also felt that I was being unrealistic and trust me, my high standards and unrealistic traits I wanted in a guy made have an odd hope and yet, when I told myself in my mind that I will never get married or have kids, I found my perfect guy a few months later. I was 19 when I met him and he was 20, I still have hope we will be together one day. I would rather die than be without him, he's the only reason I backed out of suicide. I have nothing to live for other than him and my pain and suffering will follow me everywhere. I always believed in genuine love but I understand how you're starting to not believing in it, especially because of the horrible people in this society. I think true love comes unexpectedly when you're not looking for it. You're right about people being superficial, it's disgusting. I hate how terrible people are and how fake everything is. Do you think things could work out with you and your ex? Maybe they will one day and you're definitely not immature. If this is how you feel and since we're only a small percentage of people who believe in true love, soulmates and such then we are all immature and these other people will just have to deal with that!

Anyway, I truly hope you find love in this world so you can be happy. Whenever you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I know how lonely it can be, knowing there aren't many like us. Sending you hugs x



I'm the same as you, I rarely connect with others as well. I lost my first true connection with my best friend and sister of 8 years and losing her has made me even more hate filled and numb. I'll never find another one like her, she was my everything. I believe in soulmates where you connect instantly and I have found my true love. We are so compatible, it's crazy... we are the same soul and I truly believe that he is my twin flame. I only knew of this concept a few months ago and I can resonate with the signs. I feel like I'm crazy and people around me would think the same. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Hugs x

I'm happy for you that you found someone, I hope everything works out well with you. I suppose you can meet that person unexpectedly at any moment which sometimes makes me reconsider ctb but it also seems slightly absurd to keep living life just because of the small chance that happens. I can relate to what you're saying about daydreaming about love, before and during my last relationship that's basically all I ever thought about, to the point it was basically a complete obsession, I still daydream like that sometimes but I just don't think about it in the same way anymore, I kind of feel like I've missed my chance to make any of those dreams reality and that they're all unrealistic.
I think I'll always believe in true love but it's more I'm just starting to believe I'll never experience it. It is disgusting how superficial people can be but I suppose it's just human nature and everyone is superficial to some extent. I don't think I could work things out with them for a myriad of reasons but mainly because I resent them deeply.
Thanks for your offer, I hope you can find true love and be happy too

 

[sadgirl2002]

I'm happy for you that you found someone, I hope everything works out well with you. I suppose you can meet that person unexpectedly at any moment which sometimes makes me reconsider ctb but it also seems slightly absurd to keep living life just because of the small chance that happens. I can relate to what you're saying about daydreaming about love, before and during my last relationship that's basically all I ever thought about, to the point it was basically a complete obsession, I still daydream like that sometimes but I just don't think about it in the same way anymore, I kind of feel like I've missed my chance to make any of those dreams reality and that they're all unrealistic.
I think I'll always believe in true love but it's more I'm just starting to believe I'll never experience it. It is disgusting how superficial people can be but I suppose it's just human nature and everyone is superficial to some extent. I don't think I could work things out with them for a myriad of reasons but mainly because I resent them deeply.
Thanks for your offer, I hope you can find true love and be happy too ❤❤

Thank you so much, I hope everything works out well for you too. That's the problem with life, we get everything unexpectedly and nothing comes when we're looking for it. I'm also obsessed with the idea of love and the dreams I've made in my head, I'm constantly daydreaming and it's become an addiction. I try to not do it so much but I always do, even after I found out about the concept of manifestation. I also feel hopeless but I'm holding on... I still hope that you will have your chance of having true love in this world.

I know how you feel and you're right. Ugh... I hate how shallow people are nowadays, it disgusts me. I understand, you're welcome and thank you so much ❤❤❤

 

[SOWM]

I used to believe there was some magic kind of 'other half' and to some extent I still hold it as a possibility. But I don't feel as much of a need to get close to people in such a way that I'm emotionally dependent. I would still love to be in a stable/happy forever relationship but it's a unicorn scenario. People are complicated, irrational, messy. Relationships get complicated and messy.

A safe platonic relationship is good as any romantic one if not better. I can love someone intensely while not wanting to hold on to them or define a relationship. There are people that I've known only for a couple months that made a large impact on me. One of them sadly died a few months after I met her. Another disappeared (not so much of their own volition but by coercion) from our tight knit group and I only heard from them 2 years later.

I guess I learned to embrace people 'as a child would' with less definitions and be OK with impermanence

I'm glad you don't feel like you don't rely on it as much, that's probably healthy but I can't imagine myself ever getting to that point. I wouldn't go as far as saying it's a "unicorn scenario" because millions of people stay in their relationships from their teen years until their deaths, obviously it's a small minority and obviously every relationship has its own adversities but there is certainly a very significant minority of people who stay in stable relationships almost their whole life.

I agree with you to some extent about platonic relationships but it definitely depends where your priorities lie as a person, I crave levels of romance and intimacy that you wouldn't have in any platonic relationship and also deeply want to have a family with someone I truly love.

I really wish I was different and could find meaning in life through something that was more in my control like money or religion but as much as I can change myself I can't really change what my purpose in life is.