NSFW crying in my sleep

[Yume Nikki]

i wish i had the courage to do it.

im sick of these stupid dreams about my abusive ex. im tired of trying to make friends just for them to not care about my life. im stressed from trying to find work. im fed up with having my feelings and pain constantly dismissed as me being a crybaby. i had an account that got suspended on twitter for no reason and my brothers response was "who cares." i've had people tell me what i went through with my ex doesn't count as abuse because he wasn't physically violent all the time. my urges to self-harm have come back and i have no idea how to cope with these feelings.

 

[zappynomore]

Abuse comes in many forms. Even just verbal abuse is terrible because it can really mess with you mentally. And the mental stuff can be and is a lot harder to heal and recover from compared to the physical stuff.

Anyone who tells you rubbish like the abuse u went through doesn't count, is simply not worth knowing or listening to further.

The only way I have found that helps abate those self-harm urges is certain distraction techniques not easy and perfect but it can help.

Anyone worth knowing being friends with etc is going to want to listen and will care about how you feel.

 

[Yume Nikki]

Abuse comes in many forms. Even just verbal abuse is terrible because it can really mess with you mentally. And the mental stuff can be and is a lot harder to heal and recover from compared to the physical stuff.

Anyone who tells you rubbish like the abuse u went through doesn't count, is simply not worth knowing or listening to further.

The only way I have found that helps abate those self-harm urges is certain distraction techniques not easy and perfect but it can help.

Anyone worth knowing being friends with etc is going to want to listen and will care about how you feel.

thank you for not invalidating my feelings. as someone whose experienced both mental and physical abuse from my dad, i went through the same thing with my ex except it was more mental than physical.

(tw: mentions of mental and physical abuse)

my ex asked me money for drugs, a threesome when i confessed i was bi and kick out the third person after we were 'done' (i am not into polygamy, but he did try to fetishize my sexuality) told me to stop looking for a job and become a housewife, and demonized my family for trying to get me help. he also pressured me into sex and i screamed from the pain it caused me but he only complained that i was making too much noise despite it hurting me alot. and now even when i cry i am just numb, i didnt tell anyone this because some of my friends were sick of me talking about it so i kept it to myself for ages. i did tell my therapist though so i am doing some coping skills to deal with the trauma. but my depression is contagious and it's hurting the people around me so im keeping the pain to myself. if that helps.

 

[zappynomore]

thank you for not invalidating my feelings. as someone whose experienced both mental and physical abuse from my dad, i went through the same thing with my ex except it was more mental than physical.

(tw: mentions of mental and physical abuse)

my ex asked me money for drugs, a threesome when i confessed i was bi and kick out the third person after we were 'done' (i am not into polygamy, but he did try to fetishize my sexuality) told me to stop looking for a job and become a housewife, and demonized my family for trying to get me help. he also pressured me into sex and i screamed from the pain it caused me but he only complained that i was making too much noise despite it hurting me alot. and now even when i cry i am just numb, i didnt tell anyone this because some of my friends were sick of me talking about it so i kept it to myself for ages. i did tell my therapist though so i am doing some coping skills to deal with the trauma. but my depression is contagious and it's hurting the people around me so im keeping the pain to myself. if that helps.

Sorry, you went through all that. That is fucked up. Its not something you can just get over easily or forget.

Your friends actually told you they was sick of you talking about it? If so they really arent friends worth having. Or do you mean you just kind of felt that from them like a vibe.

Yeah I get the keeping the pain to yourself thing. You dont want to burden other people. I have a friend who I helped get through depression when her mom died. She would probably return the favor with me now with how I feel the now, but its like I aint worth the effort. I dont want to burden her with my problems because it would just make her depressed most likely so i just suffer myself.

It's good you have a therapist though I hope you like them and they are doing good for you. I have had mixed results in the past with them.