Cringe shit: fall in love->CTB

[flowerfacefan1]

I'm struggling to phrase this. There's things about myself and what I could do if I lose control, that scare me a lot. I'm somewhat convinced that I might have paraphilia, and have family history of OCD, and I fear my future.
I do however have desires too, like falling in love, getting another taste of those sweet sweet endorphins, discovering someone, being able to share my joys and fears with them, yada yada yada.
Therefore, I have come to the conclusion, that the perfect exit for me might be, finding someone I'm compatible with, and CTB before things can get bad, and before the rose-colored glasses wear off. And I guess, the ideal person would probably be willing to CTB with me.

 

[crayonscrayons]

im sorry I wont be able to say anything relly useful, but it def would be good if you could find someone that'll ctb w/ you. If they are unaware, or don't want to, then yu'll traumatize them because you made a bond.

that - or - you tell them you're going to die, and then the "rose-color" wears off, and you'll have to find someone else to fall in love w/ again