Help Craving A Drink - Is it Safe For Me?

[dogthebenzohunter]

Today I am craving alcohol I have not had a drink in 33 days.

Last time I drank, well I was binging for a few weeks and when I stopped I had 5 seizures.

If I were to get drunk again just once will I have another seizure?

I know I shouldn't drink I just need to escape the way I feel today. Just not feeling okay.

 

[Tesha]

Have you sought any support for your drinking / do you have people you could turn to in real life to help with the urges and your feelings? I don't personally have experience of alcohol seizures, but I am a recovering drug addict. I know if I touch a drug, I'm not going to be stopping.

I'm also no medical expert, but from my limited knowledge, depending on how much you drink, there is a possibility of you having more withdrawal seizures. It's a risk, but I suppose anything in life is. If you don't drink, is the risk to yourself higher? Just a thought.

I wish you the best with your decision; just know there are people here who you can talk to if you want. We may talk shit, but at least this forum allows that option!

p.s. well done for keeping clean for 33 days

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

Have you sought any support for your drinking / do you have people you could turn to in real life to help with the urges and your feelings? I don't personally have experience of alcohol seizures, but I am a recovering drug addict. I know if I touch a drug, I'm not going to be stopping.

I'm also no medical expert, but from my limited knowledge, depending on how much you drink, there is a possibility of you having more withdrawal seizures. It's a risk, but I suppose anything in life is. If you don't drink, is the risk to yourself higher? Just a thought.

I wish you the best with your decision; just know there are people here who you can talk to if you want. We may talk shit, but at least this forum allows that option!

p.s. well done for keeping clean for 33 days

I am home alone for the next week so no one here to talk to. I am also a drug addict but I don't have enough money for drugs.

I feel to ashamed to tell my sponsor or my other friend from NA.

There is an alcohol support line here but I don't see how they can convince me otherwise.

I do know that if I end up having a seizure I won't call anyone I mean I might book a visit to see a gp but last time I spent 3 nights in hospital and although it wasn't so bad I don't feel like getting prodded with needles again. And I also can't be bothered going all the way there.

Addiction is too real.

I'd just get beer nothing hard.

I'll see if I can find some anti seizure meds in the cabinet.

I got plenty of sleeping pills I could load up on. You can't have a seizure in your sleep right?

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

I feel to ashamed to tell my sponsor or my other friend from NA.

There is an alcohol support line here but I don't see how they can convince me otherwise.

Buddy, I can identify a few negative thought processes here and I recognise them in myself.

1. Shame - Will just isolate you. You have no reason to feel ashamed, your sponsor and friend from NA KNOW of your issues and relapse is expected, normal and HUMAN. Don't believe "shame" and hiding yourself for a minute. It's just a trick. They will probably be so proud that you've reached out in this moment.

2. There's No Point - First of all you don't know what they're going to say and you don't know how speaking to someone at this very moment (not online but hearing a human voice trained for this very situation) is going to make you feel. The amount of times "there's no point" has prevented me from knowledge and opportunities that could've seriously helped me.... Even if they don't convince you otherwise, talking reveals what's in your mind and you can only ever gain from that - you can't lose anything.

Always think "What would a person who loved themselves do?" or "What would the ideal me do? That person in my mind I imagine myself being?". I'm talking about reaching out btw, not the fact that as a biological entity, addiction is rearing it's head, as I said - you wouldn't be human without that.

You should ALWAYS reach out, there is absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain x Even if you end up ..... Call them and speak about it.

You're very strong for not drinking for over a month - I'm so proud of you, it's not easy.

 

[Tesha]

As Phia2021 said, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Fuck, I've relapsed a number of times, but the NA was always there for me. I've gone through days 5 mins at a time just to get through them. Talking to people who understood me helped greatly, even if I didn't think so at the time.

I presume you know alcohol seizures can kill you? You can get them in your sleep. You're also more likely to accidentally inhale vomit if you've taken a shit load of sleeping pills, drink and then puke. I can't judge you, because I've been there; but I can sympathise with you. Buying beer will still get you as drunk as buying spirits. It's just possibly a bit cheaper and take a bit longer, the outcome is the same though - delaying how you're feeling, not preventing it.

Ultimately the choice is going to be yours - drink or don't. For us addicts, there isn't really a middle ground. I think maybe just taking some of those sleepers, calling someone you trust / your sponsor and going to bed is the route I would chose tonight. It sounds like a bloody horrible situation you're in, so look after yourself whatever your decision is

 

[wait.what]

ME: "My name is wait.what, and I'm an alcoholic."
AA: "Hi, wait.what!"
ME: "I said . . . my name is wait.what, and I'm an alcoholic."
AA: "Hi, wait.what!"
ME: "I SAID . . ."

Ok, all stupid aside, please don't mess around with seizures. I had a friend die of one while trying to detox at home. I met another guy in treatment who had one while driving. He veered off the road into oncoming traffic and killed two people. Usually you're only at risk of seizures once the alcohol is out of your system, but in your case I wouldn't count on a grace period. Five seizures is a lot. Some psyche meds lower the seizure threshhold and make problems more likely. Wellbutrin is a common one.

Congratulations on 33 days, by the way. I'm counting days myself. Or I would be if I could remember when my sobriety date actually is. A week? Something like that? Idk. I wasn't drinking because the world was making a lot of sense to me.

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

ME: "My name is wait.what, and I'm an alcoholic."
AA: "Hi, wait.what!"
ME: "I said . . . my name is wait.what, and I'm an alcoholic."
AA: "Hi, wait.what!"
ME: "I SAID . . ."

Ok, all stupid aside, please don't mess around with seizures. I had a friend die of one while trying to detox at home. I met another guy in treatment who had one while driving. He veered off the road into oncoming traffic and killed two people. Usually you're only at risk of seizures once the alcohol is out of your system, but in your case I wouldn't count on a grace period. Five seizures is a lot. Some psyche meds lower the seizure threshhold and make problems more likely. Wellbutrin is a common one.

Congratulations on 33 days, by the way. I'm counting days myself. Or I would be if I could remember when my sobriety date actually is. A week? Something like that? Idk. I wasn't drinking because the world was making a lot of sense to me.

I'm only 33 days alcohol free. I found some benzo powder in a sock of all places and couldn't resist. And someone gave me some suboxone a couple times but I only got a little high the first time.

This cycle never ends for me, so many times I sober up and stop feeling depressed only for it to come right back and I'm back on it again. I've been fighting this urge for a couple weeks now.

I'm taking the risk. If I die I don't care my life is never going to get better anyway.

 

[Tesha]

I'm only 33 days alcohol free. I found some benzo powder in a sock of all places and couldn't resist. And someone gave me some suboxone a couple times but I only got a little high the first time.

This cycle never ends for me, so many times I sober up and stop feeling depressed only for it to come right back and I'm back on it again. I've been fighting this urge for a couple weeks now.

I'm taking the risk. If I die I don't care my life is never going to get better anyway.

How are you today? Don't respond, if you don't want to. No pressure from me.

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

How are you today? Don't respond, if you don't want to. No pressure from me.

On another night of drinking

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

On another night of drinking

Still reach out to the systems set up x Remember you aren't the first to relapse and you won't be the last.

 

[nopointinlife]

On another night of drinking

What's your poison? I used to slam back 1/3 to 1/2 a 750ml bottle of Absolut every night night and then quit for 13 years. I recently fell off the wagon with a shot of sake, which was so fucking sweet. That one shot gave me such a sweet intense buzz that lasted for hours. I kept chasing that buzz but could never reach it again. Within a few weeks I was doing a 750 ml bottle of sake a day with a few beers, and some brandy shots. After 5 months of this, I got back on the wagon. I had a few seizures and now have major anxiety with cravings, it's been a month for me.

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

What's your poison? I used to slam back 1/3 to 1/2 a 750ml bottle of Absolut every night night and then quit for 13 years. I recently fell off the wagon with a shot of sake, which was so fucking sweet. That one shot gave me such a sweet intense buzz that lasted for hours. I kept chasing that buzz but could never reach it again. Within a few weeks I was doing a 750 ml bottle of sake a day with a few beers, and some brandy shots. After 5 months of this, I got back on the wagon. I had a few seizures and now have major anxiety with cravings, it's been a month for me.

My poison is scrumpy cider. It's like an 8% alcohol soda. Doesn't really taste alcoholic since it's made from fruit.

I'm now on my 3rd night of drinking. I'm so terrified of having a seizure now.

Did you have a feeling of impending doom and start screaming before your seizure?

It was maybe 20 seconds of total fear and I screamed like I was about to get murdered by a grizzly bear wielding an axe.

 

[nopointinlife]

My poison is scrumpy cider. It's like an 8% alcohol soda. Doesn't really taste alcoholic since it's made from fruit.

I'm now on my 3rd night of drinking. I'm so terrified of having a seizure now.

Did you have a feeling of impending doom and start screaming before your seizure?

It was maybe 20 seconds of total fear and I screamed like I was about to get murdered by a grizzly bear wielding an axe.

The doom was there, but not the screaming. Going through withdrawal sucks hard.