Courage when it comes to jumping

[Ko9]

There is a bridge, not far away from where I live and I want to get myself to jump but I am a massive pussy and that is the only reason I haven't.
I went there 2 times to get myself to jump but I just can't. I am afraid and a coward.
So there are some ideas that would make it less hard like:
1: Get slightly drunk before doing so.
2: Counting to 3 and jump at 2.
But other than that I just need some advice, anyone has any ideas or mindsets I could use?
Thanks, Ko9.

 

[departing]

Can you jump at night so that you don't see how far the drop is?

 

[Ko9]

Well of course I can, but I have been there once at night with the intention of jumping and I still just froze.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Jumping at night doesn't always work, if its full moon you can still see the bottom!
Getting drunk doesn't always work either

As for being a coward, no you are not, to me this is your body and mind's way of saying it's not your time yet, what's brought you to this point to wanting to end it all?

 

[Ko9]

To me this is my biological straight white male instinct to continue to survive and I am pretty sure I am a coward.

I am not spiritual so the whole idea of ''it's not your time yet'' is something I do not subscribe to.

Reason, well let me try:
1: Being completely fucked up, unsuccessful, ugly, stupid and the endless suffering of re-occurring traumas. I am a humanist and I can no longer defend my own existence.
2: No reason to be here. nobody to love or to wake up for and I am not blaming the outside world. Ain't a doomer.
3: There are as far as I know at least 50 people who would love to know I am dead. Because I did a lot of f-ed shit to others, these people will be very happy. Considering I am not happy here or making anyone happy, why wouldn't I do it then?
4: I lost hope.

 

[one4all]

There is a bridge, not far away from where I live and I want to get myself to jump but I am a massive pussy and that is the only reason I haven't.
I went there 2 times to get myself to jump but I just can't. I am afraid and a coward.
So there are some ideas that would make it less hard like:
1: Get slightly drunk before doing so.
2: Counting to 3 and jump at 2.
But other than that I just need some advice, anyone has any ideas or mindsets I could use?
Thanks, Ko9.

I feel ya. I was seriously contemplating drowning. Was at the water front at least a dozen times, ready to go. But i just couldn't bring myself to do it. Those little things in the back of my head about what could go wrong. I felt like a coward also.. i still kind of do.
Can't say getting drunk will help. I have been hammered alot when i was going to go through with it. Kinda hoped i would just fall in drunk and drown. Well obviously that didn't happen because i am still here.
SI is a MUTHA to over come

 

[Ko9]

Chances are you're most likely dead when you hit the water. Lucky me, there is a part when it goes up first and under that it is hard ground. I think that is much more doable since drowning is the one thing that keeps me up all night, that never.