Imissyoumydarling

Imissyoumydarling

a very majestic chicken cat
May 7, 2022
107
I'm drinking sn in a few weeks. so it's dumb. but im so scared of self harming again because i spent so many years trying to stop it. i want to try respect my body before i die.

i dont want to say what my self harm method is because i only learned this particular style after hearing about it. its not cutting. i dont want to introduce it to anyone else by ssaying it. but it terrifies me when i start i cant stop and its feral and i terrify myself and im so scared of relapsing its a fucked up method and it doesnt stop i cant stop it once it starts.,

im having a bad night. i think everyone here knows what i mean. its 8pm. after i post enter im going to put my hands in socks and tie my wrists together so i cant use my hands so i can try stop myself. but its not foolproof because i cant secure it well alone.

would really mean a lot if anyone here could please type comments to distract me or calm me if i sit here in front of my computer with my hands tied until i calm downenough to have control again and not self harm tonight. wont be able to reply

please help me die in the way i want, without unnecessary self harm. sorry to be a bother
 
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M

M.i.245541

Member
Mar 21, 2022
51
Sorry to hear that you are having a difficult night. It does happen to all of us I guess. I have never tried self harm, doesn't sound fun. Maybe try to focus your mind on something you enjoy in life. What is it?
 
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MsMaudlin

MsMaudlin

This is the fierce last stand of all I am
Dec 8, 2019
875
I'm sorry to hear that you're having a bad night.
You have been through a lot in the past few days, so please be gentle on yourself.

 
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LifeHasNoOptIn

LifeHasNoOptIn

Worst Life Ever
Mar 31, 2022
208
We love you and are here for you in any way that we can help :heart:
I Love You Hug GIF by Chubbiverse
 
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W

whywere

Visionary
Jun 26, 2020
2,968
HI! YOU are such a kind, gentle and caring soul, your post says that loud and clear.

I truly care for and about you, 100% honest on those accords and I also believe in you as far as that you are the type of soul who is very caring and kind and without you, I would have one less really good friend here, as I have no family nor friends at all.

You have so much to not only give to yourself but to so many others that you are a very important spirit and I need folks, like you! to be part of my family that helps me so very much with my 24/7 chronic pain.

Please try and relax, have a cup of tea or a soda and remember that I care about YOU, and I want the very best for you, each and every day.

I am 66 years young, reference for this post and having you here is a blessing. One aspect about myself is that I truly believe in hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder and I will put you in my prayers.

Friends always,

Walter

Sending you lots of huge hugs, caring and kindness and I care about YOU, always.
 
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S

silentvoice

Member
Nov 23, 2019
52
Hey I'm sorry that you're having a rough night. Just take care of yourself and try to think of the things that make you happy. You are so much better than what the voices in your head say.
 
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Doombox

Doombox

Who knows, who cares
Apr 7, 2022
376
I'm drinking sn in a few weeks. so it's dumb. but im so scared of self harming again because i spent so many years trying to stop it. i want to try respect my body before i die.

i dont want to say what my self harm method is because i only learned this particular style after hearing about it. its not cutting. i dont want to introduce it to anyone else by ssaying it. but it terrifies me when i start i cant stop and its feral and i terrify myself and im so scared of relapsing its a fucked up method and it doesnt stop i cant stop it once it starts.,

im having a bad night. i think everyone here knows what i mean. its 8pm. after i post enter im going to put my hands in socks and tie my wrists together so i cant use my hands so i can try stop myself. but its not foolproof because i cant secure it well alone.

would really mean a lot if anyone here could please type comments to distract me or calm me if i sit here in front of my computer with my hands tied until i calm downenough to have control again and not self harm tonight. wont be able to reply

please help me die in the way i want, without unnecessary self harm. sorry to be a bother
How are you doing this morning? A social worker once told me that when the urge to self-harm is powerful that holding an ice cube in your fist can help...it hurts (and I guess could result in endorphins?) but does no lasting damage. BTW I appreciate you not sharing your method since I have scars, myself....that is very thoughtful of you. I hope you're ok.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,065
I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. Living can be very painful as our thoughts can torture us. I hope that you find relief from your pain in whatever happens, I wish you the best.
 
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°Celsuis_Caesar

°Celsuis_Caesar

Sanctioned Suicide is well worth a mass
Jan 10, 2022
187
I got some entertainment here so you can distract yourself with these videos, I'm sorry your in this predicament, I hope this helps even if just a little bit

Distraction No. 1:


Distraction No. 2:


Distraction No. 3


Distraction No. 4


Distraction No. 5


Distraction No. 6


Distraction No. 7


Distraction No. 8


Distraction No. 9


Distraction No. 10


Sorry if this does not help, I hope you keep safe tonight
 
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rationaltake

rationaltake

I'm rocking it - in another universe
Sep 28, 2021
2,712
I just saw your post. I'm so sorry. It's so hard. I hope you're safely asleep at the moment. I hope you got through it. Kudos to you for trying so hard to resist it.

I have an eating disorder that really gets out of control. I end up buying chocolate and throwing it away.

Sending you good vibes. I loved your posts about the ghosts and your cat. 🐈 🤗
 
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Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
651
Really hope you're doing okay, sending you hugs <3
 
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Imissyoumydarling

Imissyoumydarling

a very majestic chicken cat
May 7, 2022
107
thank you guys for the support. it means a lot.

I got through it without doing anything to myself. i'm still having a rough day but i think i've figured out a new way to take my meds that should help keep me more calm for longer.

thank you so much
 
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W

whywere

Visionary
Jun 26, 2020
2,968
thank you guys for the support. it means a lot.

I got through it without doing anything to myself. i'm still having a rough day but i think i've figured out a new way to take my meds that should help keep me more calm for longer.

thank you so much
So great to hear that you are doing better. I was thinking of you all day and I stopped here the very 1st thing when I logged on to check in with you, my awesome friend.

I thought of you all day at work and said a prayer for you last night when I retired, as you are a very kind and dear soul and this site would never be the same without you here.

Have a great Thursday and Friday and I have you in my thoughts.

Lots of caring, love and kindness to you always,

Walter
 
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Imissyoumydarling

Imissyoumydarling

a very majestic chicken cat
May 7, 2022
107
So great to hear that you are doing better. I was thinking of you all day and I stopped here the very 1st thing when I logged on to check in with you, my awesome friend.

I thought of you all day at work and said a prayer for you last night when I retired, as you are a very kind and dear soul and this site would never be the same without you here.

Have a great Thursday and Friday and I have you in my thoughts.

Lots of caring, love and kindness to you always,

Walter
This really means a lot to me. Thank you Walter. You've really helped me a lot.
Everyone on this site is so beautiful and kind and it makes me sad to know that you all need to be here.
 
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Imissyoumydarling

Imissyoumydarling

a very majestic chicken cat
May 7, 2022
107
It occured to me that I should probably try help others since my new method of taking meds is helping a bit more. Thought I'd post my method.

I'm on 10mg escitalopram (lexapro) a day for PTSD. It's a deliberately low dose because I was afraid of addiction and dependency. As a result it doesn't always help on especially bad days. I've also been on it for a few years so my body doesn't react as well to it (it was a literal life saver when I first started though).

I've discovered that taking magnesium pills shortly after taking escitalopram makes an incredibly huge difference. Apparently magnesium + lexapro is a known thing, but technically unproven so far. I need to take it within an hour of the escitalopram though. I also have to be very careful to buy one that does not contain 5HTP because most magnesium pills contain that, and you shouldn't mix that with SSRIs.

I use this one: https://www.chemistwarehouse.co.nz/buy/95676/good-health-magnesium-sleep-support-60-capsules
I ignore the directions about taking two before bed.

The escitalopram + magnesium combo keeps me calmer than even my benzos ever did.

If I'm having a decent day... I'll take escitalopram in the morning before work so I can function, then a magnesium pill around 2pm and another at 6pm and that helps ease me.

If I'm having a bad day, I'll take escitalopram in the morning, take a second dose in the late afternoon, and then follow it up with the magnesium pills.

I'm not one to condone bad drug habits or going away from directions or recommended amounts but I'm dead in a few weeks anyway and this is all that helps.
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,622
I don't know much about it but I'm glad it's all working better for you! Main thing I know is that Xanax has been a Godsend for me when I have it. Wish I had some now.
 
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