Corona pushing anyone else's plans back?

[Orpheus*]

Sunday was gonna be the day, but I think I'm going to wait. Quarantine isn't having a negative impact on me- I'm an extreme introvert, so this isn't much of a change for me. Actually, I think I've been less frustrated on a day to day basis because I'm not expected to be as much of a person as usual. The desire to die has been low this past week, but I'm also very aware that I have no reason to live and that all my reasons to CTB are still there. But I think I'm gonna wait until the covid situation calms down (and I think it's gonna last through summer, at least it'll take until the end of summer for things to really go back to normal). I have a free pass to be at home with my cats doing whatever I want (can't do my job remotely, I'm an acting major so almost all my classwork is recording myself doing monologues/sides), and I fucking love my home and my cats. So yeah, nothing has changed in terms of how I think or feel about living/dying, but I'll take the pass to chill at home enjoying the things I have here and CTB later. There is still so much pain from something that happened in March, but it mostly happens in large bursts (like Tuesday, what a mess) and then it's in the background until the next burst.

I already bought the plot for my urn in the cemetery I want, but that's just a good investment ha ha, I'll have to use that someday. I got the very last plot they had! and I've wanted to be buried there for years.

 

[reapandsow918]

Hi @Orpheus* I'm glad you're having a chill time in quarantine. I'm also destined to CTB. When this Corona stuff settles down, I will CTB. That's cool that you were able to buy a plot, many people can't do that. Say hi to your cats for me.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

there's another thread in regards to this, its a tricky situation, but from what I have read it has held a few back! I was ready to just go ahead with where ever my mind took me, but right now I am in a weird place that leaves me, living every day unsure of whom I am, where I am, and how I feel.
I know I am managing to get through currently, but that's only because self harm is back in my life, either via cutting or other ways.
It is frustrating no two ways about it, covid-19 sucks balls, simple as!

 

[Orpheus*]

there's another thread in regards to this, its a tricky situation, but from what I have read it has held a few back! I was ready to just go ahead with where ever my mind took me, but right now I am in a weird place that leaves me, living every day unsure of whom I am, where I am, and how I feel.
I know I am managing to get through currently, but that's only because self harm is back in my life, either via cutting or other ways.
It is frustrating no two ways about it, covid-19 sucks balls, simple as!

What other ways if you don't mind me asking? And yeah, cutting has helped me a lot this past month. But even that's not working as well as it used to :/

 

[ThisIsIt]

Yeah, but in a weird way. I had plans to go out into the woods, take some SN, and just be done with it. However, the day I went to CTB, unbeknownst to me, was the day they shut down all the parks and trails. I literally rolled up to the trail I was planning on going on and ran into two cop cars and bunch of traffic cones--went to a few other places I knew that were secluded enough and the same deal was going on. This turned out to be a day long event of searching. I eventually found an area, but it was too crowded, and there wasn't really anywhere I could be completely secluded from hikers, runners, and neighborhood kids (would've been a different story if it was summer and everything was in bloom). Figured if I did it there some kid would stumble upon me and be traumatized for the rest of his life, or someone passing by would spot me and call an ambulance. I eventually decided that right now clearly wasn't the time to do this, and I gave up and eventually went home.

Not 100% sure if I would have gone through with it that day if all that didn't occur, but I know this is the closest I've been to going through with it.

 

[Backwoodsqueer]

Yup. I'm a kitten foster for the humane society. I decided my time to ctb was after my current litter of kittens got adopted out. Well, COVID came along and shut down all the vets except emergencies, so we can't get anyone spayed or neutered. We can't adopt unfixed cats out so I still have the kittens, 3 weeks past adoptable age.