Venting ‘Coping’ with suicidal feelings- what a joke

[Cloud Busting]

Here's a pamphlet I received upon discharge from the looney bin:

 

[bpdmf]

such a joke. mental health services really are useless

 

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

Following the first page of that pamphlet would likely result in being incarcerated in the looney bin again tbh

 

[Cloud Busting]

In sum:

• reach out to organizations, institutions, establishments, authority figures, and other people and places who will call the police and/or institutionalize you.
• Promise you won't kill yourself, as if suicide is a choice.
• Assume there is always someone that cares available for you 24 hours a day and that your family and friends will not be burdened by your constant whining
• Try to do stuff that makes you happy, even though the reason you're suicidal is because you can no longer enjoy the things that used to make you happy, whether that be due to anhedonia, acquired chronic illness or disability, low energy, chronic stress, etc.
• avoid things that stress you out, because that's totally how the real world works. I especially hate that tip because it ignores some factors are out of your control, like being a single mom, living in poverty, being abused, bullied, dealing with chronic illnesses, experiencing grief, facing discrimination, natural disaster, homelessness, unemployment, etc. Way to unintentionally victim blame. I can tell you the hospital staff had no idea on how to help people cope with long term stressors, nor did they really care.
• Assume all people have the resources, money, or access to people who can help them take their medications or the means to lock up dangerous items.

@bpdmf its such a shame. I wish there were better resources for us suicidal people, but no one cares about actually understanding why people want to die because it makes them uncomfortable. Instead of digging deeper, they feed you blanket solution crap like this, and try to shut you up because being honest is too "disturbing."

 

[ThisUnrest]

Absolutely agree with you. "Just try to feel better." "Do things that make you happy." It's all total bullshit and so unbelievably frustrating!!!

 

[Cloud Busting]

Absolutely agree with you. "Just try to feel better." "Do things that make you happy." It's all total bullshit and so unbelievably frustrating!!!

It's almost as if experts actually don't know what to do and won't admit it because losing interest in things you used to enjoy is a major symptom of depression and they know that.

I really wish experts would research how to prevent, cure, and cope with anhedonia. That'd be actually useful.

 

[Gonnerr]

They don't tell the truth , that society is an unloving , uncaring, selfish, greedy, predatory and sadistic society.

From all that shit result in people being in trouble financially, physically and mentally and wants to ctb.

For some people , ctb is THE only way , it always was and always will be.

 

[thebookofdisquiet.]

In sum:

• reach out to organizations, institutions, establishments, authority figures, and other people and places who will call the police and/or institutionalize you.
• Promise you won't kill yourself, as if suicide is a choice.
• Assume there is always someone that cares available for you 24 hours a day and that your family and friends will not be burdened by your constant whining
• Try to do stuff that makes you happy, even though the reason you're suicidal is because you can no longer enjoy the things that used to make you happy, whether that be due to anhedonia, acquired chronic illness or disability, low energy, chronic stress, etc.
• avoid things that stress you out, because that's totally how the real world works. I especially hate that tip because it ignores some factors are out of your control, like being a single mom, living in poverty, being abused, bullied, dealing with chronic illnesses, experiencing grief, facing discrimination, natural disaster, etc. Way to unintentionally victim blame. I can tell you the hospital staff had no idea on how to help people cope with long term stressors, nor did they really care.
• Assume all people have the resources, money, or access to people who can help them take their medications or the means to lock up dangerous items.

@bpdmf its such a shame. I wish there were better resources for us suicidal people, but no one cares about actually understanding why people want to die because it makes them uncomfortable. Instead of digging deeper, they feed you blanket solution crap like this, and try to shut you up because being honest is too "disturbing."

+ fill your house with lamps, I guess (???)

 

[Cloud Busting]

+ fill your house with lamps, I guess (???)

Cool it's not enough sun and light! Vitamin D that will cure it!

 

[AnonGermany]

What would you write on a Paper that tries to help with suicidal feelings?

I mean serious answer only, not a map for the next gun shop.

 

[MeltingBrain]

Here's a pamphlet I received upon discharge from the looney bin:

View attachment web_fc0813_17.webp
My God, after reading that I am healed !

 

[AntHills]

What would you write on a Paper that tries to help with suicidal feelings?

I mean serious answer only, not a map for the next gun shop.

I would base my advice on the personal experiences and circumstances of the person that the paper is intended for. No matter how hard you try, you can't adequately advise anybody based your on generalized beliefs about suicidal feelings/intentions.

Solving a problem requires one to address the source of the problem, not the symptoms, and that is assuming that every given problem has a solution, and that solution could be made available to the person in question.

 

[MeltingBrain]

Suicidal person : Stage 4 cancer .
Pamphlet: Well lit room .

 

[Cloud Busting]

What would you write on a Paper that tries to help with suicidal feelings?

I mean serious answer only, not a map for the next gun shop.

You wanna learn how to tie a noose? It's a very easy thing to do. Sit on down and I'll give you the scoop. What's that? It's called the loopty-loop!

You make a loopty-loop and pull, and your noose is looking cool!

*****

Ok serious answer time.

"Dear Lexi,

You can get through anything. In the moment, you are always disproportionately harsher on yourself than what is warranted for the situation. Do you remember when you were 23 years old and fell into a deep depression? The only reason you didn't kill yourself is because you were uncomfortable with hanging, purchasing a gun would raise suspicion and you didn't have a car to access a gun shop or the money to buy one, making chloroform gas could kill whomever found you, you lacked the courage to jump, and all other methods were unreliable.

That you were depressed was understandable. You were kicked out of the house when you refused to give your mom drug money. You went to stay with a guy in a dumpy month-to-month hotel who brought home the girl he was cheating on you with. After hearing them have sex with sheets pinned to the wall for a week, they left you alone with only $350 to your name. Your ex took the laptop you both split of course, and you pushed carts for $9.50 an hour. You didn't have a degree. You felt like a loser and a failure.

Hindsight is always 20/20. Sure, other 23 year olds had more money, education, and better career prospects, but you were not them. You were the youest you you could be. And what kind of 23 old were you? One who was abused, bullied, raised in poverty to a substance abusing, mentally ill, single teen mom, and mentally ill throughout high school. Guess what? You survived. You got a higher paying job, you got out of that hotel, you got a car, you managed your bills, and you built up your credit. It took you forever but you did it. You weren't a failure. You were a badass.

While you may not meet the societal milestones you feel you should have obtained by now, they are just constructs. The only thing getting in your way is shame. With guilt, you can redeem yourself. With shame, you are stuck in the same cycle as you believe yourself to be irredeemable. Shame makes you sick. Guilt sets you free.

Remember what Bojack said to Diane, "Don't feel bad about feeling bad." You're not a bad person for not eating, sleeping, cleaning, socializing, exercising, indulging in hobbies, or whatever else you 'should' be doing. Feeling ashamed for being sick only renders you sicker. Meet yourself where you at. Accept how you feel.

I know you feel unworthy and undeserving now, but I will always love you.

From,

~Your Soul"

Honestly this is the only exercise on that 99.9% useless sheet I find useful. I like how it says to do it when you're feeling better because there's no way I could of written this when my depression was at its worst (in august when I attempted to ctb).

I'll print this out. Thanks @AnonGermany

 

[p49CwWzD]

There's a huge moral panic around suicide. But all of these "resources" and all of the hand-wringing are completely uninterested in understanding why people become suicidal, or how to prevent meaningfully prevent it. All psych has to offer is carceral "treatment" and empty platitudes. I wasted a lot of time, money, and energy going to therapy and going in and out of psych hospitals, and it only made things worse. It's about shutting people up, making profit off of us, and then letting normal people pat themselves on the back about it. That's all.

 

[cardboard_house]

Cool it's not enough sun and light! Vitamin D that will cure it!

Maybe if you just turn into a plant you won't feel like killing yourself anymore! "We don't want you to be a sentient creature with wills and wants, we just want you to behave according to our rules!!"

Such bs.

 

[Cloud Busting]

What would you write on a Paper that tries to help with suicidal feelings?

I mean serious answer only, not a map for the next gun shop.

Oh, I just realized that you meant in general, and not a response to the "write a letter to yourself for when you're feeling unwell when you feel well."

This is a hard one. I'd say, don't be embarrassed to take community and/or government resources if you need them. Don't feel ashamed for being suicidal or depressed, because you'll be chained to shame. With shame, you feel irredeemable and thus won't change. You are redeemable. You are a good person for knowing you did wrong, which means you can change. Fact check your thoughts, because often they are lying and people don't see yourself the way you do. Don't feel bad for feeling bad or unmotivated. Accept that you feel that way and that it's understandable. Don't blame yourself for global warming, capitalism, racism, exploitation or whatever. Thats the fault of the powers that be, so be a hedonist because there's nothing you can do why not, or be an activist. That's more powerful than ending it. The people in charge want you to kill yourself so you can't thwart their power (think of nazis and predators goading ppl to end it for an example).

Spiritual health is connected to mental health. Does a purpose, religion, or higher power help you? Good. Does searching for meaning make you depressed? It's ok to not know. Do we need a meaning? Maybe existing is enough, so enjoy you hedonistic slut.

I'd also add hotlines that are alternatives to 988, like thrive text line and wildflower alliance (the discord is easier to get ahold of than the phone). They have a strict anti-assessment and police policy (listed on their websites). And this fine forum, though that's politically incorrect.

I think @AntHills makes a good point. Either way there needs to be more research into suicide prevention that isn't just "restrict methods, prevent contagion, and drug, arrest, and institutionalize people." That just puts a band-aid on the wound.

I think asking patients to write their own plan is better than being given handouts or writing template based safety plans as that's more a benefit to those in charge than the patient themselves.

 

[AnonGermany]

Thank you guys for your thoughts on this. I can understand it much better now than a "what a joke paper" or something like that for example.

I always believe that those papers are "obviously" not meant as a cure, but rather a compact reminder about the options that we have in that Scenario, where we get so lost in this cycle of dangerous/self harming thoughts where it could potentally get dangerous with impulsive decisions. Where we cant think straight anymore. Basically being completely unable to make a rationale thought.
Heck even just Reading these 2 pages on that paper will distract you just a little Bit by focussing on it, which may allow us to focus a little better and have a more clear head for the next decision.

The whole "light up your room" thing, "talk with a human everyday" or "work on this with a therapist" are just general steps to help preventing being in these situations in the first place. They are not universal things that will prevent it 100% for everyone, thats for sure. But it is literally Proven that if you dont get enough light or interaction with other people, that it will do something negative inside of you/do something negative with you.
Like, theres places in the world where they have seasons with barely any sunlight at all due to their location, and they have to use like fishoil capsules and what not, to support their Body.

These lines all may look a little dry, but i believe each case/Person is so unique, that it is impossible to write a general "accepted" Paper like this, unless you write it yourself specifically tailored for your own needs and things that work for you (which is a great task in my opinion).
Something similar is done in Borderline therapy where you prepare a emergency Box which you create for yourself, after trying out many things from a "general list" to find out what works for you in these situations.

I get that this paper is very "suicide is not the solution" and people registered here are usually not first timers with their thoughts and have already had therapy sessions and are more dedicated etc., but we shouldnt forget about the people that are not as deep into it yet and may still have a chance to find something to keep on fighting for.

 

[conarc]

Talk to your loved ones, family

Its such a stupid piece of paper.

 

[Cloud Busting]

Thank you guys for your thoughts on this. I can understand it much better now than a "what a joke paper" or something like that for example.

I always believe that those papers are "obviously" not meant as a cure, but rather a compact reminder about the options that we have in that Scenario, where we get so lost in this cycle of dangerous/self harming thoughts where it could potentally get dangerous with impulsive decisions. Where we cant think straight anymore. Basically being completely unable to make a rationale thought.
Heck even just Reading these 2 pages on that paper will distract you just a little Bit by focussing on it, which may allow us to focus a little better and have a more clear head for the next decision.

The whole "light up your room" thing, "talk with a human everyday" or "work on this with a therapist" are just general steps to help preventing being in these situations in the first place. They are not universal things that will prevent it 100% for everyone, thats for sure. But it is literally Proven that if you dont get enough light or interaction with other people, that it will do something negative inside of you/do something negative with you.
Like, theres places in the world where they have seasons with barely any sunlight at all due to their location, and they have to use like fishoil capsules and what not, to support their Body.

These lines all may look a little dry, but i believe each case/Person is so unique, that it is impossible to write a general "accepted" Paper like this, unless you write it yourself specifically tailored for your own needs and things that work for you (which is a great task in my opinion).
Something similar is done in Borderline therapy where you prepare a emergency Box which you create for yourself, after trying out many things from a "general list" to find out what works for you in these situations.

I get that this paper is very "suicide is not the solution" and people registered here are usually not first timers with their thoughts and have already had therapy sessions and are more dedicated etc., but we shouldnt forget about the people that are not as deep into it yet and may still have a chance to find something to keep on fighting for.

While you make fair points, remember this paper is "Coping With Suicidal Feelings," not "Preventing Suicidal Feelings." This isn't being handed out to potentially at risk people. This is being handed out to people who already are suicidal. I received this after being locked up for 11 days for a hanging attempt fyi.

This could help people prevent from ever getting there, but it's not designed for that, so I can't see it as anything other than condescending and unhelpful. How are you supposed to remember there's hope when you're already hopeless, especially if you're in a situation with no current solution beyond your control, like poverty, abuse, or chronic illness? How is engaging in pleasurable activities supposed to help when loss of interest in a literal sign of depression? Why would you reach out to the establishment, friends, or family, when you risk burning them out at best and getting institutionalized and harassed by law enforcement at worst? How are you supposed to accomplish goals for sense of worth when you're unmotivated and already feel worthless?

I'm of the personal view that much of depression is relative to one's perspective, which this paper doesn't address. If I were to design a paper, shifting a person's perspective would be part of the fundamental framework. Also, since depression is hyper-medicalized, no one cares about actually fixing structural factors that lead to feeling suicidal. I was reading that abortion restrictions increase suicidal ideation (lol pro-lifers). I know it's not the intention, but this paper can lead to a depressed person to blame themselves for feeling that way when the issue is often society at large. Reminding myself that global warming isn't my fault has been helping me recover for example (and the nursing staff seemed to think blaming corporations for our consumption of plastic and paper was too 'nihilistic' and 'hopeless' and it's better to be positive and focus on what I can do, even tho my only option in the hospital was to use their paper Pepsi cups to drink water cuz they had no other option. They only like it when you recover in the 'right' way).

I think the only useful strategies on this paper are keeping a routine (one of the few useful things I learned in my stay), and writing a letter to read when you're at your worst.

I'm not trying to be negative, or anti-help. I just wish the help available was better. It's not a bad thing to point out the flaws in our healthcare system.