derpyderpins
I was wrong
- Sep 19, 2023
- 1,051
Obviously language and slang is going to change, but it's started to become an insult to tell someone they are coping, or that they need to cope. Now, I get that in context, but I want to write a defense of cope.
To cope is to "deal effectively with something difficult." Doesn't sound like a bad thing. Sounds meritorious. Now, there can be bad copes. Chugging bourbon might effectively deal with my difficult emotion for the moment, but it comes with other consequences. But, in general, being able to cope is a positive thing.
Something I see a lot on here is a mindset that things must either be all good or all bad, and if bad => ctb. Those who have adopted "it's all bad" mentalities have a difficult cognitive wall to overcome: it's not ALL bad. The absolutism is a hindrance to any potential improvement/recovery. They observe and are aware that most people are not suicidal, that those of us here are in the minority - and not for any universally good reason. It's a cope in and of itself to declare the suicidal to be the true enlightened, while decrying those who function normally as just dumb or sheep or brainwashed, etc. You will see it said that the others (the non-suicidal, usually labeled some insulting term,) are adopting X/Y/Z mentality to "cope," as if that is an insult to them. The fact is, in many cases, this ability to cope should be admired.
For most people, life is more bad than good, at least in terms of "number of bad things" v. "number of good things", or "time spent dealing with bad things" v. "time spent enjoying things." In terms of numbers, bad wins. Work is shit, and most people spend a good portion of their waking hours on it. But, as said above, it's not all bad. Almost everyone has some things in life capable of giving them positive feelings. What bridges the gap between the total magnitude of effect of good v. bad is one's ability to cope. Let me illustrate in some shitty charts I draw with my finger on my phone:
Personal example. I realize I have been "over-socialized", leading me to some cognitive distortions that result in me feeling unnecessarily guilty when I logically should not. Now, that is a difficult situation. I want to remedy this. Fixing my cognitive distortions will take time. So, while I work on that, I have to find a way to cope with the situation, or I will spiral down more and more.
In sum, I say do not think yourself superior for not coping, for that is you running away rather than accepting and dealing with a situation. Indeed, my friends, go forth and "cope harder."
To cope is to "deal effectively with something difficult." Doesn't sound like a bad thing. Sounds meritorious. Now, there can be bad copes. Chugging bourbon might effectively deal with my difficult emotion for the moment, but it comes with other consequences. But, in general, being able to cope is a positive thing.
Something I see a lot on here is a mindset that things must either be all good or all bad, and if bad => ctb. Those who have adopted "it's all bad" mentalities have a difficult cognitive wall to overcome: it's not ALL bad. The absolutism is a hindrance to any potential improvement/recovery. They observe and are aware that most people are not suicidal, that those of us here are in the minority - and not for any universally good reason. It's a cope in and of itself to declare the suicidal to be the true enlightened, while decrying those who function normally as just dumb or sheep or brainwashed, etc. You will see it said that the others (the non-suicidal, usually labeled some insulting term,) are adopting X/Y/Z mentality to "cope," as if that is an insult to them. The fact is, in many cases, this ability to cope should be admired.
For most people, life is more bad than good, at least in terms of "number of bad things" v. "number of good things", or "time spent dealing with bad things" v. "time spent enjoying things." In terms of numbers, bad wins. Work is shit, and most people spend a good portion of their waking hours on it. But, as said above, it's not all bad. Almost everyone has some things in life capable of giving them positive feelings. What bridges the gap between the total magnitude of effect of good v. bad is one's ability to cope. Let me illustrate in some shitty charts I draw with my finger on my phone:
Personal example. I realize I have been "over-socialized", leading me to some cognitive distortions that result in me feeling unnecessarily guilty when I logically should not. Now, that is a difficult situation. I want to remedy this. Fixing my cognitive distortions will take time. So, while I work on that, I have to find a way to cope with the situation, or I will spiral down more and more.
In sum, I say do not think yourself superior for not coping, for that is you running away rather than accepting and dealing with a situation. Indeed, my friends, go forth and "cope harder."
