Discussion Controversial Discussion #3

[Sleeper System]

I believe that the majority of people would prefer to CTB under conditions favorable to a comfortable and painless departure.
There are some absolutely hardcore people who want to die so badly that they don't even care about how they go.
I'm talking about the ones who take a shotgun to the face or jump infront of a moving train etc.
Given how many of us struggle to come to grips or even fully commit to CTB... does your heart and mind create a sub-conscious or conscios ranking of impressiveness when it comes to the act of suicide? And to what extent would you be willing to go to meet your own end? Is there a line you wont cross or a condition that would make it impossible regardless of how bad you want the pain to end?

 

[Nothing………………….]

I think if I ever got the the point where I truly wanted to CTB I wouldn't care how I do it. The hard part of CTB for me was always crossing the point of no return, not what was after that point. So for example if I had an off switch that would instantly end everything painlessly, it would be just as hard to do that in my mind as stabbing myself in the stomach. I realise that stabbing myself in the stomach would be way more painful, but by the time I'm experiencing that pain it's already too late to turn back, and everything will be over shortly either way. The only reason I never stabbed myself (or CTB through any other method, just using stabbed myself as an anecdote) was because when holding the knife up to my stomach I couldn't bear to take the next step, not because of the pain of it, but because if it's finality. This is probably also influenced by the fact that I've never experienced intense pain before, I've never broken a bone of anything adjacent to that so I don't really have a precedent for how painful something like that would be, so I don't care as much as I imagine others might.

 

[Sleeper System]

I think if I ever got the the point where I truly wanted to CTB I wouldn't care how I do it. The hard part of CTB for me was always crossing the point of no return, not what was after that point. So for example if I had an off switch that would instantly end everything painlessly, it would be just as hard to do that in my mind as stabbing myself in the stomach. I realise that stabbing myself in the stomach would be way more painful, but by the time I'm experiencing that pain it's already too late to turn back, and everything will be over shortly either way. The only reason I never stabbed myself (or CTB through any other method, just using stabbed myself as an anecdote) was because when holding the knife up to my stomach I couldn't bear to take the next step, not because of the pain of it, but because if it's finality. This is probably also influenced by the fact that I've never experienced intense pain before, I've never broken a bone of anything adjacent to that so I don't really have a precedent for how painful something like that would be, so I don't care as much as I imagine others might.

That's a good answer. I think that's what is stopping me from doing anything right now. As much as I hate life at the moment... it's not rock bottom. Getting on the line to ctb at this point would feel pointless. I have to be made to feel like this is actually the end. It wouldn't take much but so far it hasn't happened yet.

I once had a tooth pulled with no anesthetics and after the severe pain of the pulling it broke into pieces and those pieces had to be torn from my gums. That's basically torture that I endured. I don't want to feel pain when I go not even for a second. Not if I can help it. but who knows. When my time comes I may just jump off a building head first or step infront of an 18 wheeler.

 

[SamTam33]

The only line I won't cross is the one that causes me to take other people with me.

I can't do the train because I'll be damned if I'm the cause of a derailment that causes someone else to be disfigured or paralyzed or late to their first day of work.

My death will never take precedence over a stranger's well-being. I cannot do that.

I despise how other people's actions can contribute to another person's pain.

I'll live forever in this wretched existence before I cause someone else to feel the anguish that I feel.

'Do unto others' is the only credo that means anything to me.

 

[Sleeper System]

The only line I won't cross is the one that causes me to take other people with me.

I can't do the train because I'll be damned if I'm the cause of a derailment that causes someone else to be disfigured or paralyzed or late to their first day of work.

My death will never take precedence over a stranger's well-being. I cannot do that.

I despise how other people's actions can contribute to another person's pain.

I'll live forever in this wretched existence before I cause someone else to feel the anguish that I feel.

'Do unto others' is the only credo that means anything to me.

Trains are designed specifically to be able to bypass obstacles like rocks, metals, and yes, even people and animals. Jumping infront of train will have no effect on its function. The person hitting the brakes might cause the people on the train to go slightly flying but damage will be minimal. They will definitely be late to wherever they're going though.

I often think about what if someone gave me the option for a painless death but I had to hurt someone else fist. I guess it would depend on who the person was. So I can't say that I wouldn't harm another person. but I know I would never harm an innocent person or animals or children.

 

[SamTam33]

Trains are designed specifically to be able to bypass obstacles like rocks, metals, and yes, even people and animals. Jumping infront of train will have no effect on its function. The person hitting the brakes might cause the people on the train to go slightly flying but damage will be minimal. They will definitely be late to wherever they're going though.

I often think about what if someone gave me the option for a painless death but I had to hurt someone else fist. I guess it would depend on who the person was. So I can't say that I wouldn't harm another person. but I know I would never harm an innocent person or animals or children.

True (about the minimal damage).

But I can't be for certain. I'd rather not involve anyone else. Don't wanna inconvenience anyone, even in death.

And there's something about someone else being there when I die that doesn't feel right. Isn't that weird.

I've thought about this so much. Jumping in front of a semi (I'm forever drawn to bridges and jumping in some fashion).

I've mulled over the idea of not wanting to physically hurt a stranger but being perfectly fine with mentally hurting family.

It's a conundrum, I suppose.

 

[F@#$]

I'm planning on a super destructive and chaotic day or two before the end.I want to fuck everything up before I go. Wreck my shit,cars,bikes,bank accounts. Exact some cruel and long overdue revenge on a few deserving pricks. Then spray my brain allover somewhere I can haunt for eternity. Still working on the details.

 

[Scythe]

Weirdly enough, while peaceful methods are on the top of the list, so are painful ones. I want to go out with a bang, get me explosives, get me guns. (I will bomb myself in the wilderness) I want to die from cyanide like the special agents back in the days. I want to go out into a blizzard, then sleep and never wake again. The blizzard one is actually a peaceful method for me, I'm just listing it here since it's not a good method to most.
I won't use any of the really painful methods, like immolation and cutting. Maybe I'll be brave enough to jump the train one day. It is my last resort, because if all else fails, the trains will always be there.

 

[no-name9859472882]

Personally I struggle With this even having N I think the idea of not existing will scare anyone even those who are willing to ctb in brutal ways which I was one of those people until I got n. Really I think it's horrible the brutality some people go through to ctb it really shouldn't be this way but the govt makes it illegal to ctb because that would be destruction of goverment property...

 

[IWishToDie]

I would never try a train death. You can survive ripped in half for a fair amount of time. Horrible way to go. Thinking about it gives me the HEEBIE JEEBIES.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's one of those things we wouldn't know unless it happened. I feel like it's utter desperation and fear that backs us into the CTB corner. Depends on just how desperate and fearful we are I guess.

I have quite a few conditions that need to be met for me to CTB. Ideally- I want to wait for my Dad to go first. If I'm in the middle of a project for a company- I want to finish it. Lots of people wouldn't understand that one and I get that- the whole- if you were so desperate- that wouldn't bother you... If any of us were that desperate- we'd be dead rather than posting on a suicide forum! We all have different criteria we want to aim to meet. That would ideally be mine- I've always had a strong work ethic and I don't like letting people down. Plus- I don't actually want my suicide to either be or appear to be impulsive. It won't be. It's been planned for years now. That would be another thing for me- to get all the paperwork done so people don't have much to worry about in terms of the hassle.

In terms of method, I think the brutal, scary and unreliable methods have all been enough to put me off so far. I felt just about brave enough to buy SN.

I think things would all shift though if my life started to change- illness, homelessness etc would likely push me towards other methods. My ideal plan could even go to shit if my dad dies and I'm doing a project. I feel like the fear of seeing a (suspected) narcissistic family member at the funeral could well push me to just do it. (I'm kind of hoping it does.) It's hard to know how I'll feel till it happens but there certainly would be things that would push me into less than ideal choices. I expect it's the same for everyone. Fear of life outweighing fear of death.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

I think holding on/following my CTB plan is my stubborn way of giving life the middle finger.
Like I can't stand the thought of it not going the way I planned it out to go to the exact detail.

 

[Abyssal]

Wouldn't call it impressiveness, more so concern or sadness. I feel for those who take such extreme measures to ctb, and wish that life had given them a better hand.