Venting Contradictions

[crimson blue]

My time has stopped a long time ago, there are things I want to do but living is very difficult and it hurts a lot. I'm thankful I have a job, I don't like it but it pays the bills and I don't think I can get better anytime soon, in fact I don't have many options. Damn it hurts a lot, I'm afraid to die but I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to hurt my loved ones but every day I feel closer, why does even dying have to be difficult? I would have liked to improve the world even a little bi but I can't even help myself and I make mistakes all the time. I love myself and I hate myself. Thanks for reading me.

 

[deomlez]

Human is full of contradictions. But when it becomes a huge disonnance, it's unbearable. You are not alone

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really tiring feeling trapped in that situation, I just think the reality is that existence certainly is so unnecessarily cruel, it's such a horrible world we exist in where people suffer all through no fault of their own. But anyway, best wishes.