Venting Constant Flip-Flopping between CTB and recovery

[IHurtTheOneILove]

The title explains it all. I have moments of clarity where I know everything is gonna end out alright, but then I have moments where I don't know if I have the mental fortitude to last that long. Does anyone else struggle with this?

 

[Brown-Jacket Revy]

There's no shame in it.

It's normal to want to get better, and it's also normal to still struggle with life and the suicidal ideation.

Personally, I feel like I'm in a kind of limbo; I have no idea what moves to make to progress for the future, but then I also haven't resolved to take the leap into death.

 

[almaPerdida]

I do, i'm always on one extreme. Or completely hopeful for the future, grateful for being alive and making plans. Or i'm planning to CTB, writing my letter, researching methods etc.

It's kinda annoying, i'm a bit used to it tho. My mood swings are very predictable too.

 

[tidal1]

Just from reading your previous posts, I personally think you have the capacity to do really well with recovery. I wish you peace regardless.