Venting Confused

[joyless]

So I have been suicidal for years now , on anti depressants , but I'm conflicted.
During the day I can distract myself with mindless consumerism like tiktok , yt and games but eventually I get bored and become suicidal again.
It's like the meds only keep me from thinking just enough so I don't act on anything but I can't actually do something that requires effort. Im unemployed and not in school, I'm 20 years old and just sit at home all day.
Every single minor inconvenience makes me suicidal. These meds feel like they have stopped me from thinking and processing, taking away my creativity , my personality and my interests, leaving me an empty shell of a man , and yet they manage to keep me alive but Is it worth it ?

 

[woofwag]

Very relatable, I am in almost the exact same situation rn. All the major dopamine hit distractions can't truly pull me away from being suicidal at the end of the day. Although my meds actually do help, ya know to some minor degree. Mostly with my BPD. It might be worth it to try to switch to different meds if all they're doing is keeping you alive yet miserable.

 

[daieattomyum]

Very relatable, I am in almost the exact same situation rn. All the major dopamine hit distractions can't truly pull me away from being suicidal at the end of the day. Although my meds actually do help, ya know to some minor degree. Mostly with my BPD. It might be worth it to try to switch to different meds if all they're doing is keeping you alive yet miserable.

I feel like meds tend to make things worse sometimes just doing stuff instead or getting cognitive behavioral therapy has helped me a lot to improve my moods and the way i felt about myself but ofcourse that doesn't change the fact that occasionally when life feels like it's shity again the better option just seems to be ending it for me lol

 

[woofwag]

I feel like meds tend to make things worse sometimes just doing stuff instead or getting cognitive behavioral therapy has helped a lot to improve my moods and the way i felt about myself but ofcourse that doesn't vhange the fact that occasionally when life feels like it's shit the better option seems to be ending it lol

They can make things worse if you take the wrong ones. Let's not discourage medication use please; it is life-saving for many people mentally and physically. If I didn't take my Lamotrigine I would destroy all of my relationships to the point of being unsalvageable. They are best paired with therapy ofc but you don't need to just do one or the other. Encouraging suicide before encouraging medication is wild, also against the rules here

 

[daieattomyum]

They can make things worse if you take the wrong ones. Let's not discourage medication use please; it is life-saving for many people mentally and physically. If I didn't take my Lamotrigine I would destroy all of my relationships to the point of being unsalvageable. They are best paired with therapy ofc but you don't need to just do one or the other. Encouraging suicide before encouraging medication is wild, also against the rules here

Let's be perfectly clear here i wasn't encouraging anything at all i was just talking about how i feel in my own personal case and my own personal condition so hopefully sharing ones deep feelings on a matter isn't against the rules lol

 

[Awesomefoid67]

So I have been suicidal for years now , on anti depressants , but I'm conflicted.
During the day I can distract myself with mindless consumerism like tiktok , yt and games but eventually I get bored and become suicidal again.
It's like the meds only keep me from thinking just enough so I don't act on anything but I can't actually do something that requires effort. Im unemployed and not in school, I'm 20 years old and just sit at home all day.
Every single minor inconvenience makes me suicidal. These meds feel like they have stopped me from thinking and processing, taking away my creativity , my personality and my interests, leaving me an empty shell of a man , and yet they manage to keep me alive but Is it worth it ?

have you asked about maybe trying a different med?

 

[woofwag]

Let's be perfectly clear here i wasn't encouraging anything at all i was just talking about how i feel in my own personal case and my own personal condition so hopefully sharing ones deep feelings on a matter isn't against the rules lol

"that doesn't change the fact that occasionally when life feels like it's shity again the better option just seems to be ending it for me lol" Yeah that's still encouraging to someone who's struggling, intended or not. Plz asses how your personal opinions can affect someone under their OWN post. Unfortunately this site does have a history of saying that suicide is the only option when that's not true. I won't report you, but it's still not ok in my eyes.