Shu

Shu

As above, So Below.
Jan 21, 2022
2,487
If there is anything you would like to confess or get off your chest feel free.


My confession is that I'm going to die a murderer. I'm killing myself.
 
Last edited:
  • Wow
  • Hugs
Reactions: waitingforrest, ColorlessTrees, Dr Iron Arc and 3 others
Silenos

Silenos

Ṿ̸̄Ọ̶͂Ỉ̶͉D̴̞͝ ̴̲̐A̷̾͜W̷̪͒Ā̵̯I̵͍̅T̵̛͔S̷̗͛
Jul 25, 2020
1,057
Oof, got a big one so buckle up. This one time I replied in a confession thread, but then I didn't actually confess anything. I'm so ashamed.
 
  • Yay!
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: ctvunny, delusionalgirl, m1v and 13 others
Shu

Shu

As above, So Below.
Jan 21, 2022
2,487
Oof, got a big one so buckle up. This one time I replied in a confession thread, but then I didn't actually confess anything. I'm so ashamed.
Cool Story.
 
  • Like
Reactions: houseofleaves and Silenos
F

FogFilledLife

Student
Jan 6, 2022
164
I have on many instances when I was around 9-12 years old flashed my naked body on Omegle. from 11-14 I would also trade nudes of myself with others around my age and up, one notable time recording myself masturbating for an adult woman as she sent me pics of herself.

When I was around 13 I'd masturbate with my female cousins in the room (I have no clue if they ever realized, they never mentioned it).

Around the same time I'd take creepshots of classmates.

I have a MAYBE four inch penis.

When I was 10 my mother caught me with a large amount of pornagraphy.

When I was in grade school I'd occasionally stab myself with my pencil for attention as hard as I could.

When I was 14 I'd occasionally touch myself in public.

When I was between 10-12 I nearly killed my brother at a public pool. He was drowning and I watched him for a bit before helping him when my dad came towards him to ask what was going on.

When I was 13 I had a online relationship with a girl a year older that was on and off for over a year in which I was emotionally abusive.

I have on many occasions followed people around while having to force myself not to attempt to kill them.

I have also on many occasions had to force myself not to steal things from people I know I wouldn't use.

I once was angry at my mother for something (I forget what) and had to forcefully stop myself from stabbing her with the knife in my hand (dishes), she noticed and insulted me, telling me I was just like her brother.

I am completely incapable of expressing myself to people in reality. My mind shuts off and goes into 'please mode' in which I say what I believe they want to hear with mere hints as to what I actually think.

I've once completely honestly told the people in the psych ward I was in that if anyone ever did to my kids what they talked about beat them to death with a baseball bat and had everyone laugh.

No medication has ever seemed to work for me.

When I was around 11 I had seizures on and off for a week or two I never mentioned to anyone because I was convinced it was a ghost doing it to me.

I can't keep a job. I go into downward spirals until I either quit or get fired.

I can't even begin to start thinking about time beyond a few months. I don't even hide how much I want to kill myself. I openly scream, even occasionally in public "Fucking kill me!" "Slice my fucking throat wh*re!", etc. Nobody's even said anything about it beyond "Quit being dramatic".

I constantly fantasize about cutting my throat, all the time.

I've fantasized about killing almost everyone I've seen. If it's a female, I have probably thought about raping her, cutting off her head and using at as a fleshlight.

The few times I have been able to try to convey my murderous impulses to a therapist/psychiatrist they weren't at all concerned, instead focusing on my depression.

I'm so sick of my fucking life.
 
  • Hugs
  • Wow
  • Like
Reactions: Élégie, thereisthemist, Someone123 and 10 others
fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
I lie to my family about my mental health. Often.
 
  • Like
Reactions: waitingforrest and NearlyIrrelevantCake
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,995
When I'm in a grocery store and I change my mind about buying something, I tend to just leave it wherever seems closest instead of walk all the way back to wherever it's supposed to be. I realize this is a pretty selfish trait but that doesn't compel me to stop because I'm just that lazy.

At least I always make sure to put shopping carts into the shopping cart area instead of just leaving them in a curb or parking space.
 
  • Like
Reactions: waitingforrest, NearlyIrrelevantCake and houseofleaves
I

indigomoon

Student
Mar 6, 2022
162
I have on many instances when I was around 9-12 years old flashed my naked body on Omegle. from 11-14 I would also trade nudes of myself with others around my age and up, one notable time recording myself masturbating for an adult woman as she sent me pics of herself.

When I was around 13 I'd masturbate with my female cousins in the room (I have no clue if they ever realized, they never mentioned it).

Around the same time I'd take creepshots of classmates.

I have a MAYBE four inch penis.

When I was 10 my mother caught me with a large amount of pornagraphy.

When I was in grade school I'd occasionally stab myself with my pencil for attention as hard as I could.

When I was 14 I'd occasionally touch myself in public.

When I was between 10-12 I nearly killed my brother at a public pool. He was drowning and I watched him for a bit before helping him when my dad came towards him to ask what was going on.

When I was 13 I had a online relationship with a girl a year older that was on and off for over a year in which I was emotionally abusive.
When I'm in a grocery store and I change my mind about buying something, I tend to just leave it wherever seems closest instead of walk all the way back to wherever it's supposed to be. I realize this is a pretty selfish trait but that doesn't compel me to stop because I'm just that lazy.

At least I always make sure to put shopping carts into the shopping cart area instead of just leaving them in a curb or parking space.
I have on many instances when I was around 9-12 years old flashed my naked body on Omegle. from 11-14 I would also trade nudes of myself with others around my age and up, one notable time recording myself masturbating for an adult woman as she sent me pics of herself.

When I was around 13 I'd masturbate with my female cousins in the room (I have no clue if they ever realized, they never mentioned it).

Around the same time I'd take creepshots of classmates.

I have a MAYBE four inch penis.

When I was 10 my mother caught me with a large amount of pornagraphy.

When I was in grade school I'd occasionally stab myself with my pencil for attention as hard as I could.

When I was 14 I'd occasionally touch myself in public.

When I was between 10-12 I nearly killed my brother at a public pool. He was drowning and I watched him for a bit before helping him when my dad came towards him to ask what was going on.

When I was 13 I had a online relationship with a girl a year older that was on and off for over a year in which I was emotionally abusive.

I have on many occasions followed people around while having to force myself not to attempt to kill them.

I have also on many occasions had to force myself not to steal things from people I know I wouldn't use.

I once was angry at my mother for something (I forget what) and had to forcefully stop myself from stabbing her with the knife in my hand (dishes), she noticed and insulted me, telling me I was just like her brother.

I am completely incapable of expressing myself to people in reality. My mind shuts off and goes into 'please mode' in which I say what I believe they want to hear with mere hints as to what I actually think.

I've once completely honestly told the people in the psych ward I was in that if anyone ever did to my kids what they talked about beat them to death with a baseball bat and had everyone laugh.

No medication has ever seemed to work for me.

When I was around 11 I had seizures on and off for a week or two I never mentioned to anyone because I was convinced it was a ghost doing it to me.

I can't keep a job. I go into downward spirals until I either quit or get fired.

I can't even begin to start thinking about time beyond a few months. I don't even hide how much I want to kill myself. I openly scream, even occasionally in public "Fucking kill me!" "Slice my fucking throat wh*re!", etc. Nobody's even said anything about it beyond "Quit being dramatic".

I constantly fantasize about cutting my throat, all the time.

I've fantasized about killing almost everyone I've seen. If it's a female, I have probably thought about raping her, cutting off her head and using at as a fleshlight.

The few times I have been able to try to convey my murderous impulses to a therapist/psychiatrist they weren't at all concerned, instead focusing on my depression.

I'm so sick of my fucking life.
Good lord. I'm sorry about all the mental anguish you are going through. But you need to get the raping and killing women thing in check. You do not need that.
 
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: FreeMind, Élégie, waitingforrest and 5 others
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,995
Good lord. I'm sorry about all the mental anguish you are going through. But you need to get the raping and killing women thing in check. You do not need that.
Whoa whoa whoa I know what I did was wrong but don't lump me in with that guy. 😬
 
  • Like
  • Yay!
Reactions: Alex Fermentopathy, FreeMind, Élégie and 3 others
I

indigomoon

Student
Mar 6, 2022
162
Whoa whoa whoa I know what I did was wrong but don't lump me in with that guy. 😬
So sorry. Didn't mean too. My computer is acting weird. My bad.
 
  • Like
  • Yay!
Reactions: Élégie, houseofleaves, Dr Iron Arc and 1 other person
GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
As expected, it's always one of the two types of people posting in threads like these - the ones that feel inexplicably compelled to rape and murder and the ones who can only name something like leaving groceries in a wrong place in a supermarket as their worst offence :))
 
  • Yay!
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Alex Fermentopathy, Élégie, waitingforrest and 9 others
S

silent staring void

Student
Jan 22, 2020
145
Sometimes I let the house get cold on purpose so my cat will cuddle with me
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: FreeMind, waitingforrest, Someone123 and 3 others
R

Ready2GoNow2022

Member
Mar 19, 2022
44
I haven't had a shower in almost 3 weeks. :notsure:
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Élégie, AtMostOkay, waitingforrest and 3 others
DontplayGod

DontplayGod

She/her
Feb 6, 2022
123
I haven't brushed my teeth since December
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: Élégie, AtMostOkay, waitingforrest and 4 others
whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,914
I have on many instances when I was around 9-12 years old flashed my naked body on Omegle. from 11-14 I would also trade nudes of myself with others around my age and up, one notable time recording myself masturbating for an adult woman as she sent me pics of herself.

When I was around 13 I'd masturbate with my female cousins in the room (I have no clue if they ever realized, they never mentioned it).

Around the same time I'd take creepshots of classmates.

I have a MAYBE four inch penis.

When I was 10 my mother caught me with a large amount of pornagraphy.

When I was in grade school I'd occasionally stab myself with my pencil for attention as hard as I could.

When I was 14 I'd occasionally touch myself in public.

When I was between 10-12 I nearly killed my brother at a public pool. He was drowning and I watched him for a bit before helping him when my dad came towards him to ask what was going on.

When I was 13 I had a online relationship with a girl a year older that was on and off for over a year in which I was emotionally abusive.

I have on many occasions followed people around while having to force myself not to attempt to kill them.

I have also on many occasions had to force myself not to steal things from people I know I wouldn't use.

I once was angry at my mother for something (I forget what) and had to forcefully stop myself from stabbing her with the knife in my hand (dishes), she noticed and insulted me, telling me I was just like her brother.

I am completely incapable of expressing myself to people in reality. My mind shuts off and goes into 'please mode' in which I say what I believe they want to hear with mere hints as to what I actually think.

I've once completely honestly told the people in the psych ward I was in that if anyone ever did to my kids what they talked about beat them to death with a baseball bat and had everyone laugh.

No medication has ever seemed to work for me.

When I was around 11 I had seizures on and off for a week or two I never mentioned to anyone because I was convinced it was a ghost doing it to me.

I can't keep a job. I go into downward spirals until I either quit or get fired.

I can't even begin to start thinking about time beyond a few months. I don't even hide how much I want to kill myself. I openly scream, even occasionally in public "Fucking kill me!" "Slice my fucking throat wh*re!", etc. Nobody's even said anything about it beyond "Quit being dramatic".

I constantly fantasize about cutting my throat, all the time.

I've fantasized about killing almost everyone I've seen. If it's a female, I have probably thought about raping her, cutting off her head and using at as a fleshlight.

The few times I have been able to try to convey my murderous impulses to a therapist/psychiatrist they weren't at all concerned, instead focusing on my depression.

I'm so sick of my fucking life.
Edmund Kemper could teach you a thing or two regarding these fleshlight interests of yours...

OK, now that the cat is out of the bag with the self presented as fckn sicko above, there goes my confession, in a similar vein...

I once caught myself starting to creep on a teenager when I was in my early 20s. I just thought it was funny to pretend for a few minutes to be a serial killer and follow her. I stopped myself very soon, realizing that these kind of games are exactly how some murderers start their "careers".

To give some context to my narc/ASPD side, I also wrapped my now beloved dog with a sheet and threw her in the pool BECAUSE I knew water terrified her. This was the culmination of a bizarre two week streak of animal abuse (some light beating or forced swimming, nothing horrendous, but very disturbing nonetheless) when I was left alone in my parent's country house.

The dog managed to open the envelope quickly and swim to the surface. She was quite frightened, you could tell, and I was very alarmed with my own behavior if that makes sense. I never hit or abused her again. She's a very happy and healthy dog now. But I know since then (and some other things in my childhood) that there is a part of me that could become tragically dominant with the wrong stimuli.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: waitingforrest
D

DthrowawayA

Member
Sep 17, 2021
15
Whenever I see healthy people, children, or happy people, I can't help but to imagine seeing them living with my illness, or killing them in really brutal ways and killing myself after. I guess it's because I'm very bitter, and seeing other people living freely while I'm trapped hurts a lot.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: leland, Élégie, FogFilledLife and 2 others
Cosmic dust

Cosmic dust

Among the stars
Feb 28, 2022
151
Not sure what to confess in a forum where no one knows my identity. Doesn't feel much like a confession right?

I feel jealously of people I know, I feel a bitter rage against my sister and parents. Sometimes I daydream of hurting, emotionally, not physically, this woman I know, because I love her and I feel rejected, but I guess nothing of this is surprising on SS.

I am a heterosexual male, but there was a time where my porn addiction led me to start consuming a lot of trans porn (my mind is a mess) and I tried to explore my sexuality on other ways, alone. I have a fantasy silicone dildo, with a thick knot.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: waitingforrest and Circles
whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,914
We need to keep up with the fuck ups in this thread, OK? (He, and now me). I did my best, but I feel like y'all are holding back.

After a guy goes around saying he dreams of fucking severed skulls everything will be underwhelming. We need something stronger now... Cannibalism maybe? I'm open for ideas.
 
Last edited:
Dysgenic Pup

Dysgenic Pup

A canine that’s not so heavenly.
Sep 18, 2021
435
Haven't had a genuine friendship since the 6th grade.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Sweet Tart, Élégie, AtMostOkay and 5 others
C

Circles

Visionary
Sep 3, 2018
2,297
I crossdress occasionally.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: FreeMind, Sweet Tart, AtMostOkay and 3 others
UnravelingWinter

UnravelingWinter

I wish I was a sunflower
Mar 19, 2022
206
I desperately wish I was a sunflower, and I'm sad it's never going to happen. I wish I didn't exist.

I tried to kill myself by hypothermia a few months ago and it wasn't as unpleasant as I was expecting, but I freaked out when I looked down and saw that both of my arms and hands were entirely blue and gave up the attempt out of fear.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Sweet Tart, Circles, waitingforrest and 2 others
senti-mental

senti-mental

Member
Sep 15, 2019
94
I desperately wish I was a sunflower, and I'm sad it's never going to happen. I wish I didn't exist.

I tried to kill myself by hypothermia a few months ago and it wasn't as unpleasant as I was expecting, but I freaked out when I looked down and saw that both of my arms and hands were entirely blue and gave up the attempt out of fear.
I've also wished i was a plant a lot. I just think it would be a very peaceful, simple existence. In the next life i want to be either a plant or a bug of some kind.
 
  • Love
Reactions: waitingforrest
Unwr!tten

Unwr!tten

Saltier than SN
Apr 10, 2023
532
I had an incest relationship with a family member close in age with me from 9-13 and only stopped when I realized it was wrong. I have a mega fucked up view on relationships and I'm not allowed male friends as inevitably, I will fall in love with them. I don't watch porn but 8 think about and fantasize about sex a lot, though usually, I don't think about real people but I create "ideals" in my mind and imagine those.
For Context, I have OCD and so my intrusive thoughts are super Severe
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: loopdaloop and Sweet Tart
L

loopdaloop

-
Apr 16, 2023
323
Maybe I'm paranoid and delusional or whatever, but sometimes I feel as though my mother is sexually attracted towards me and anytime she interacts with me - it causes extreme uncontrollable revulsion and disgust. Perhaps it's because she used to shower me until the age of like 7-8, and I was mentally developed enough to feel uncomfortable with it. And she doesn't understand boundaries and is very smothering. I kinda want either my mom to die, or me to die. Doesn't really matter.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: LittleJem and Unwr!tten
Unwr!tten

Unwr!tten

Saltier than SN
Apr 10, 2023
532
I think if more of us delve deep within ourselves, we can learn about and relate so much to each other
 
  • Like
Reactions: loopdaloop
FinalCountdown

FinalCountdown

Member
Jun 21, 2023
12
I've made the biggest fuck ups in the mist of my mania. Here's one of my many fuck ups: There is content of me online that I can never remove, where I was tortured, because I was getting paid to be tortured.
 
ruru_241

ruru_241

地雷女
Mar 12, 2023
74
there's times where i rather be kidnapped by some man just so i can feel wanted and loved for once. my heart feels like its going to burst.
 
  • Love
Reactions: girlwithflaxenhair0 and day
day

day

Global Mod
Jun 24, 2023
644
there's times where i rather be kidnapped by some man just so i can feel wanted and loved for once. my heart feels like its going to burst.
Was thinking a similar way today on my way to the liquor store earlier.

I wouldn't care if someone wanted to kidnap me, rape me, then kill me after.

Intrusive thoughts go crazyyyyy.
 
  • Love
Reactions: ruru_241
ruru_241

ruru_241

地雷女
Mar 12, 2023
74
Was thinking a similar way today on my way to the liquor store earlier.

I wouldn't care if someone wanted to kidnap me, rape me, then kill me after.

Intrusive thoughts go crazyyyyy.
FRRR !!! you get it ㅠㅠ
 
  • Love
Reactions: day
delusionalgirl

delusionalgirl

I have my ticket. Awaiting my journey
Jun 17, 2023
194
I have content online that even though my store on the sites are shut down the stuff will always be there. And I also have been having to actively keep up with my lies so people don't think I'm going to ctb. My lies are fairly huge at this point.
 

Similar threads

wobblycoatrack
Replies
1
Views
88
Suicide Discussion
Dot
Dot
joyfulegirl999
Venting At peace.
Replies
6
Views
261
Suicide Discussion
gnarly
gnarly
StrawberryRed
Replies
15
Views
723
Suicide Discussion
opheliaoveragain
opheliaoveragain
S
Replies
4
Views
218
Suicide Discussion
Sadmonster98
S
EmptyCurtainCall
Replies
2
Views
176
Suicide Discussion
stinky_joe
S