Method Concerned about the mess I'd make if I used a gun.

[Helplessturtle79]

I've actually got an AR. I don't want to get into politics, my views on them are complicated, and it's beside the point.
I'm very confident that 1 good quality bullet would be more than enough to off myself.
I think my fear is leaving a mess. Really, I feel like I can't find a method that doesn't make a big mess.
I know I'll upset friends and some family. I'll be another trans suicide statistic if I decide to go through with it. But I would rather not traumatize people who find me. I once went to a funeral of a friend who died in a car crash. Her face was so fucked up. It's burned into my mind and I don't want to do that to my friends.
But I also don't know what other method would work. I was thinking about just driving out into the country at night or somewhere pretty like that, taking some Valium to make it easier, and then putting it in my mouth and doing the deed. One of my roommates has really bad anxiety and I wouldn't want him to find me in my room.
Sorry to make this so long winded, but I guess I'm sort of conflicted because while it would be the easiest choice for me in terms of effectiveness, it would potentially leave someone else with PTSD or trauma. Even if I did it in the wilderness, some poor hiker or farmer would find me and still be scarred.

 

[Dear Agony]

It's funny how our situations are the exact opposite. I do not have easy access to guns in my country, but if I did, that would be my method. I simply am incapable to experience empathy towards the stranger who would find me, and I even can think of some people I would love if they found me. I would love to traumatize them forever because of what they did to me. I don't know if that makes me a bad person or just a sad victim.
You could leave a note at the door maybe warning people to not come in and call the emergency services. They are used to this kind of job and they probably don't even remember all the bodies they've seen.

 

[Helplessturtle79]

It's funny how our situations are the exact opposite. I do not have easy access to guns in my country, but if I did, that would be my method. I simply am incapable to experience empathy towards the stranger who would find me, and I even can think of some people I would love if they found me. I would love to traumatize them forever because of what they did to me. I don't know if that makes me a bad person or just a sad victim.
You could leave a note at the door maybe warning people to not come in and call the emergency services. They are used to this kind of job and they probably don't even remember all the bodies they've seen.

I did consider that, but there'd be a funeral. And while I wouldn't mind some people dealing with the guilt, there are friends and family who I don't want to see me with half of my face left. Thanks for the suggestion, though. I'm still working all of this out.

 

[Dear Agony]

I did consider that, but there'd be a funeral. And while I wouldn't mind some people dealing with the guilt, there are friends and family who I don't want to see me with half of my face left. Thanks for the suggestion, though. I'm still working all of this out.

I understand. Well, in my case I want to be cremated and don't want a funeral to be held, so our situations are quite different. Either way, I do hope you're not just another trans suicide statistic. I hope you find peace too though. Best of luck to you.

 

[ChobaniFlipSmores]

Bump. Was there any resolution to this?

I'm thinking about gunshot to the head, but doing so while in a sleeping bag, maybe a tent. Any ideas on "best location"? Near the county morgue?