Venting coming to terms

[devil]

hello.

i may of wrote this a billion times on here, about how i'm finally ready to start thinking of methods
and that i'm ready to ctb.... but I've been wrong each time obviously.
well this time is different.
i'm sick and tired of watching this world slowly turn to shit and i can't stand to sit around and just
not be able to do anything about it. i want to be at peace, i want to be far away from here.
a way that has helped me slowly come to terms with wanting to finally ctb is that life is such a weird yet cool
experience that was randomly created so who's to say that the 'after life' isn't just as cool or well maybe it'll be a better
and more interesting experience. maybe? who knows honestly, not sure if that makes sense. i'm just randomly venting here.
i want to ctb more than ever right now. i'm just trying to build 100% confidence that i'll actually succeed with it.

i want to die peacefully and i want to be the one that ends my life. nothing else and not some stupid virus named after a beer.
fuck this world and fuck all of the fake happy people who can find something to live for every day.
apparently this world isn't meant for me, which i don't even care anymore. i always knew suicide would be my way out, just never knew when.

 

[faust]

Sorry, dear
I know how it feels that the world is utterly odd.
Since you are ready with your decision, keep in mind, that everything depends on you now.
I am glad you told us about yourself and found strength to vent.
How do you feel about CTB, do you find it comforting?
Sending you warm hugs

 

[devil]

Sorry, dear
I know how it feels that the world is utterly odd.
Since you are ready with your decision, keep in mind, that everything depends on you now.
I am glad you told us about yourself and found strength to vent.
How do you feel about CTB, do you find it comforting?
Sending you warm hugs

thank you so much, you're sweet.

yes i do find it comforting, knowing that i can decide when
i want to be taken out of this world and how it'll happen is kinda
peaceful to me. i'd rather know how it's going to happen instead of
it happening randomly one day. if i have a way to make it peaceful then
i find that to be way better than to take a chance of it being extremely painful.

 

[faust]

thank you so much, you're sweet.

yes i do find it comforting, knowing that i can decide when
i want to be taken out of this world and how it'll happen is kinda
peaceful to me. i'd rather know how it's going to happen instead of
it happening randomly one day. if i have a way to make it peaceful then
i find that to be way better than to take a chance of it being extremely painful.

I sometimes think that everything we need is not death itself, but peace which it brings.
Unfortunately, peace does not want to come somehow when we are alive.
Having your method ready nearby can make you understand whether you truly need it or not.
Who knows, life itself is so unpredictable

 

[Lost in a Dream]

If you are ready this time, then you shouldn't have to worry too much about survival instinct getting in the way (I hope), since it's usually a sign that someone isn't ready if it causes problems. I know the feeling about the world turning into shit and not being able to do anything about it. Whenever it is that you go through with it, I hope it goes quick and that you don't experience any pain or discomfort while it's happening. I know that is what I would want for myself when my turn comes.

Here's a hug from me as well.

 

[devil]

If you are ready this time, then you shouldn't have to worry too much about survival instinct getting in the way (I hope), since it's usually a sign that someone isn't ready if it causes problems. I know the feeling about the world turning into shit and not being able to do anything about it. Whenever it is that you go through with it, I hope it goes quick and that you don't experience any pain or discomfort while it's happening. I know that is what I would want for myself when my turn comes.

Here's a hug from me as well.

aw thank you so much