Pure
Specialist
- Jun 29, 2021
- 366
I know many people take comfort in the idea of in the finality of death as an escape for whatever issue they're facing in life, but I'm still struggling with that concept. For me, I'm too much stuck in the "now" and seeing the after effects of people who succeeded in their own attempts. I guess I have a massive ego or my survival instinct is great. The transition from "this is my life and this is what I imagine for the future" to "this person is now another number and the rest of the world will move on as if she never existed" is hard to come to terms with for me. I don't have a belief in an afterlife strong enough to make me fully believe that life post death is chilling in heaven or reincarnation that would make me feel comfortable now with ctbing. But I don't have the same sense of peace with the finality of death. But I'm fucking feeling awful in my real life enough to rather consider dying. I'm stuck in this awful in between of not fully recovering which I don't even think it's possible for me to even be happy or just fucking going through with dying. I wish somebody who's neutral on suicide would just evaluate my life (and had a fortune telling orb to tell me my future) tell me what to do.