Story comforting just knowing it’s there and ready

[depressed-pos]

things have been really really hard lately, my life compared to two months ago is not even comparable. i ordered SN in december and it arrived just before christmas, and honestly just having it brings me so much relief and comfort. it's in the bottom of a box right next to my bed, and knowing i can open it anytime has been something that i think about at least 10 times a day. the last month ive been doing things like walking through the house and watching shows thinking how it probably won't be too much longer, its a really weird feeling but a huge point of solace at the same time. it feels so crazy typing this, no one knows i have it, but ngl this feels really good to get off my chest

 

[parasite_eve]

things have been really really hard lately, my life compared to two months ago is not even comparable. i ordered SN in december and it arrived just before christmas, and honestly just having it brings me so much relief and comfort. it's in the bottom of a box right next to my bed, and knowing i can open it anytime has been something that i think about at least 10 times a day. the last month ive been doing things like walking through the house and watching shows thinking how it probably won't be too much longer, its a really weird feeling but a huge point of solace at the same time. it feels so crazy typing this, no one knows i have it, but ngl this feels really good to get off my chest

This. Also a feeling of "im getting away with it and these normies haven't a clue" - but the thing I'm getting away with is that they can't keep me here socially reproducing this barbaric system for decades of immiseration.

I'd only pilot a plane with an eject option and why should piloting this meat mech with bones be any different?

 

[depressed-pos]

This. Also a feeling of "im getting away with it and these normies haven't a clue" - but the thing I'm getting away with is that they can't keep me here socially reproducing this barbaric system for decades of immiseration.

I'd only pilot a plane with an eject option and why should piloting this meat mech with bones be any different?

right! little does anyone know i can just opt out and hopefully not even an hour or two later it's over. the whole "im getting away with it" is definitely one of the craziest feelings, so sad that if i dared to tell anyone irl it would be a whole thing. thank you so much for the comment, you deserve to be the one in charge of your own life, im rooting for you <3

 

[Kibby]

the only thing I fear with something like that is if I would regret it and It was just some emotional impulse but tbh its seeming more and more that my mind is made up, and fuck it why not it really is powerful having some sn, like a painless hidden shotgun you can pull out whenever you want to ctb, i js need some antiemetic to store and ill have that too

 

[depressed-pos]

the only thing I fear with something like that is if I would regret it and It was just some emotional impulse but tbh its seeming more and more that my mind is made up, and fuck it why not it really is powerful having some sn, like a painless hidden shotgun you can pull out whenever you want to ctb, i js need some antiemetic to store and ill have that too

right, i think that way too sometimes. i never really know what's going to be the "nail in the coffin" and i don't want to regret it (if there is an afterlife). it's kinda like asking myself what would be a valid enough reasoning to finally do it? i'm lucky i have AE's ready, for me i just don't have that calming drug yet, i took clonazepam for years and theres not really a realistic situation where i could get more so thats the last piece i have been trying to figure out but i know that part is optional. i hope whatever happens in the future for you, it's full of love and peace <3

 

[platypus77]

things have been really really hard lately, my life compared to two months ago is not even comparable. i ordered SN in december and it arrived just before christmas, and honestly just having it brings me so much relief and comfort. it's in the bottom of a box right next to my bed, and knowing i can open it anytime has been something that i think about at least 10 times a day. the last month ive been doing things like walking through the house and watching shows thinking how it probably won't be too much longer, its a really weird feeling but a huge point of solace at the same time. it feels so crazy typing this, no one knows i have it, but ngl this feels really good to get off my chest

I'm experiencing the same feeling, it's already known that contemplating suicide and near death experiences can help reshape entire lives, when people feel like it.
Enjoy the peace.

 

[Kibby]

right, i think that way too sometimes. i never really know what's going to be the "nail in the coffin" and i don't want to regret it (if there is an afterlife). it's kinda like asking myself what would be a valid enough reasoning to finally do it? i'm lucky i have AE's ready, for me i just don't have that calming drug yet, i took clonazepam for years and theres not really a realistic situation where i could get more so thats the last piece i have been trying to figure out but i know that part is optional. i hope whatever happens in the future for you, it's full of love and peace <3

Thank you, I wish you a peaceful rest soon. You deserve it.

 

[itwasallascream]

I had to check that this wasn't a post I had written and forgotten about! Mine is stored in a basket in my living room. It's right next to my sofa. Little do people know that they are sitting next to my way our. I'm worried thought that it will expire but it's in a sealed container in a zip lock. I think I'm about to get fired so it may come in handy this weekend!

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel relieved at having the option, I wish you the best.

 

[Johnzaga23]

Having a secured full proof exit plan is one of the best feelings you can get. If I didn't have a plan, I wouldn't be able to sleep. Still my plan is not perfect, but its something.

 

[depressed-pos]

I had to check that this wasn't a post I had written and forgotten about! Mine is stored in a basket in my living room. It's right next to my sofa. Little do people know that they are sitting next to my way our. I'm worried thought that it will expire but it's in a sealed container in a zip lock. I think I'm about to get fired so it may come in handy this weekend!

it's a wild feeling! whatever is next for you, i wish you nothing but luck and peace, you deserve that

Having a secured full proof exit plan is one of the best feelings you can get. If I didn't have a plan, I wouldn't be able to sleep. Still my plan is not perfect, but its something.

it really really is. whatever is in your future, i hope you finally find that peace and rest you deserve

 

[ihatemyselfwanttodi]

Totally agree. It is comforting. Do you have anything else for the process or plan to?

 

[depressed-pos]

Totally agree. It is comforting. Do you have anything else for the process or plan to?

i have AE ready and some otc pain meds i plan on taking a bit before i do it. however i don't have anything "calming" wise, i took clonazepam for years but it isn't really realistic getting more in my current situation. i know it's completely optional, but that's been the last piece i've been thinking about

 

[ihatemyselfwanttodi]

i have AE ready and some otc pain meds i plan on taking a bit before i do it. however i don't have anything "calming" wise, i took clonazepam for years but it isn't really realistic getting more in my current situation. i know it's completely optional, but that's been the last piece i've been thinking about

Nice. I wish I had AE already. No luck thus far still. Someone did send me a link to a bunch of online pharmacies, seems like that may take a month or 2 to get.

 

[depressed-pos]

Nice. I wish I had AE already. No luck thus far still. Someone did send me a link to a bunch of online pharmacies, seems like that may take a month or 2 to get.

whatever happens next for you, i hope you may finally be able to find peace and rest

 

[ihatemyselfwanttodi]

whatever happens next for you, i hope you may finally be able to find peace and rest

Thank you, you as well.

 

[Surai]

Its very comforting like a kill switch in case there arent any other switches to press

 

[Electra]

Its very comforting like a kill switch in case there arent any other switches to press

Second this.