![EternalShore](/data/avatars/l/66/66409.jpg?1686418189)
EternalShore
Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
- Jun 9, 2023
- 840
woohoo~ Now, I can be forced to be around the most insufferable people in the world while seriously depressed myself! D: I'm trying to secure a full-time job too, soooo~ >_< ouch~ oh well, 'tis just feels awful to see all these people yet again, having to pretend to be someone I'm not constantly yet again, getting to deal with the worst professor in the world for yet another semester, and getting to see all the worst people in the world be happy, get engaged, married and enjoy their lives while I try to be the best I can and am constantly 100% miserable with no hope and completely lost in life~ :((( I should get that! It's the only goal I have~ To get married and have kids~ And yet, I'm nowhere closer to that than I was a year and a half ago~ :/// It's just the absolute worst! D:
And I know with just one thing, I can be happy~ but genuinely, what I need is a miracle~ A person who can step in and save me, and ig I have someone who is basically single-handedly keeping me alive, but they live far away, so I never get to see them~ >_< but welp~ God has yet to provide for me yet~ And yet, the worst part is that in order to find that person, I'd have to make myself even more miserable by interacting with these horrible people! >:(
On the bright side, I'm almost done with college~ woohoo~ After this year, I actually have to voluntarily sacrifice the little free time I get to talk to hopefully slightly less insufferable people with whom I'll still have to pretend to someone else completely different from the real me~ :/ And the worst is~ I've lived like this for so long that I'm starting to lose contact with who I really am! :(((((( I, too am being poisoned by society~ ofc, not as badly as others I've seen, but the same, nonetheless. Why the heck do I even live at this point? Even if by that miracle, I achieve my dream, I'm still going to more than likely be miserable.... just less so... :( Why am I cursed like this? :(
And I know with just one thing, I can be happy~ but genuinely, what I need is a miracle~ A person who can step in and save me, and ig I have someone who is basically single-handedly keeping me alive, but they live far away, so I never get to see them~ >_< but welp~ God has yet to provide for me yet~ And yet, the worst part is that in order to find that person, I'd have to make myself even more miserable by interacting with these horrible people! >:(
On the bright side, I'm almost done with college~ woohoo~ After this year, I actually have to voluntarily sacrifice the little free time I get to talk to hopefully slightly less insufferable people with whom I'll still have to pretend to someone else completely different from the real me~ :/ And the worst is~ I've lived like this for so long that I'm starting to lose contact with who I really am! :(((((( I, too am being poisoned by society~ ofc, not as badly as others I've seen, but the same, nonetheless. Why the heck do I even live at this point? Even if by that miracle, I achieve my dream, I'm still going to more than likely be miserable.... just less so... :( Why am I cursed like this? :(