TheGoodGuy
Visionary
- Aug 27, 2018
- 2,999
I started out writing this in another thread about ctb at christmas and figured it would be better to make my own thread not to highjack the other one so I just copy pasted the whole thing in here
If I had no family or at least no parents I think Christmas would be a good time to ctb because it was the happiest most magical time of the year for me as a child so to end it now that life has become so horrible and has been for years would almost be poetic in the sense that this time used to be filled with so much happiness and wonder and now in the present just suffering with no friends, no life, passions only apathy.
I record private vlogs just to get stuff off my chest including one yesterday and I will go outside now and do it again and talk about how truly tragic it is that it´s the 18th December and it mind as well be October or February. Never in my life have I ever felt so little in December, my last tiny spark of Christmas spirit was present 8 years ago back when I was 17 but this December has nothing it used to be the happiest most magical time a year with so many adventures and imagination and now we are a weak away from Christmas it´s insane to think about.
As a child every single day in December would feel like an eternity because I would be so eager for it to be Christmas Eve already so I could get my real big presents, every morning would be filled with such excitement the feeling of butterflies in my stomach everything felt so Christmassy and magical I can´t stress the word 'magical' enough because it truly felt like there was some kind of magic over December now as an adult time flies by in a blink of an eye I have NEVER in my life experienced December to go by so fast the older we get the faster time speed up and the same for the younger we were the slower time seemed to go by our inner clock changes so dramatically and it´s scary that a time that I used to hold so dear to my heart now feels like nothing it´s just apathy all over.
- Anyways sorry if I high jacket your thread I started out answering your question but got caught in some old memories and started venting I just miss the past so incredibly much like you wouldn´t believe my life used to be heaven on Earth with so much fun, adventure and excitement now every day is the same over and over I just want to be a child again
If I had no family or at least no parents I think Christmas would be a good time to ctb because it was the happiest most magical time of the year for me as a child so to end it now that life has become so horrible and has been for years would almost be poetic in the sense that this time used to be filled with so much happiness and wonder and now in the present just suffering with no friends, no life, passions only apathy.
I record private vlogs just to get stuff off my chest including one yesterday and I will go outside now and do it again and talk about how truly tragic it is that it´s the 18th December and it mind as well be October or February. Never in my life have I ever felt so little in December, my last tiny spark of Christmas spirit was present 8 years ago back when I was 17 but this December has nothing it used to be the happiest most magical time a year with so many adventures and imagination and now we are a weak away from Christmas it´s insane to think about.
As a child every single day in December would feel like an eternity because I would be so eager for it to be Christmas Eve already so I could get my real big presents, every morning would be filled with such excitement the feeling of butterflies in my stomach everything felt so Christmassy and magical I can´t stress the word 'magical' enough because it truly felt like there was some kind of magic over December now as an adult time flies by in a blink of an eye I have NEVER in my life experienced December to go by so fast the older we get the faster time speed up and the same for the younger we were the slower time seemed to go by our inner clock changes so dramatically and it´s scary that a time that I used to hold so dear to my heart now feels like nothing it´s just apathy all over.
- Anyways sorry if I high jacket your thread I started out answering your question but got caught in some old memories and started venting I just miss the past so incredibly much like you wouldn´t believe my life used to be heaven on Earth with so much fun, adventure and excitement now every day is the same over and over I just want to be a child again
