i realize it's because most people on here have similar personalities/beliefs as the ones i've met in person and online in general. where i should have felt less alone is just another place the types of people i dislike and avoid most leaks into, because there are far too many of them everywhere.
i will never be apologetic for my views on suicide. it's the one thing i feel very strongly about after being on the sides of wanting life, death, then being in limbo.
anyone who wants it, no matter the age and situation, has the absolute right to kill themselves even if someone else cries about what could have been. everything else is a second or even third thought. if they succeed, then they can be at peace.
so fuck you if you don't like my formed perspective. beliefs that have formed after experiencing many sides of life. after trying multiple times and rubber banding back to the same pain, different time. multiple therapists, psychiatrists, self-help, self-improvement, self-love, increasing confidence, reducing insecurities, acceptance, meeting new people, finding possible friends, romantic relationships, exploring, traveling, learning new skills, finding new jobs, and many others that i've fucking tried. a life long struggle if it was to be continued.
clinging on to hope like an ignorant fool only trying to see the happiness you might receive once that goal is finally achieved, when everything else that goes against it simply exists without lifting much of a finger. all the while you use up many years of your life trying to reach that goal. it's not a badge of honor you wear. you're just too in denial to see that other people took advantage of your time and energy, narrowing your path in life to just grinding hours for a measly fucking paycheck. going back home tired with barely any energy to use for your own activities.
and as a child, molested, beaten, bullied, silenced by 'family' members and treated like a black sheep after finally retaliating at a later age by calling the cops. even the cops ignored my plea. all of which carried over to my adulthood. imagine if i was aware of suicide, had the means to, and successfully killed myself after one of those experiences as a child. i wouldn't be in this forum trying to look for a method and using it to kill myself. a ripple that won't stop until i'm finally gone. i wouldn't have to deal with the now.
things 'could have been better,' i could have been 'saved' from it, but i wasn't. not with the type of people i was surrounded by which many are involuntarily subjected to.
i've fully realized that it all comes down to choice no matter what the situation is. hesitation exists because of 'pro-life perspectives' that had been instilled in people throughout their lives, and there are far too many fucking pro-lifers in this forum. the funny thing is some want to kill themselves and have the means to do it or is actively searching/buying the materials, yet they continue to spread their pro-life ideals in a place where suicide topics should be predominant. why? because outside ss is all about pro-life idealism and we have enough of that beyond this forum.
the ideas that branch off 'hope' is so fucking sickening to hear at this point. words that we've heard repeated too many god damn times such as "you're still so young. you have to so much to live for" -- "go try something new to distract yourself" -- "never give up"
consider yourself very fucking lucky if you never or barely got to experience shit, traumatizing things in your life. being born in a much better situation where financial support exists, never having to worry about money. where you have a safe place to actually call home. overall a place where you can fall back on if society goes against you because your fucking parents won't let the 'real world' fuck you up just to teach you a life lesson.
i express what i believe in strongly and with anger because i'm tired of the nonsense some people spew on here. responses that fail to see what it all comes down to.
choice is not limited by age or situation; only others impose of such limits.
i will never try to stop you if you want to kill yourself no matter your age and situation. i can only hope you leave peacefully enough. people are just petty to inflict further pain if you have a history. searching for what little justice they can get because they couldn't get it from a failed system.
i had expectations in this forum when i first joined (which was not a good idea to have as always). after reading the 'mainstream suicide prevention' post, i felt so understood. it gave me a sense of control back in my life after reading about the multiple sources/methods on how to kill yourself, about how it's accepted and not taboo. until i met more and more pro-lifers. seeing responses so dismissive of what the person is dealing with and using the same god damn advice you'd hear outside of the forum. it became tiring to see.
this will ever stop as it is welcomed. i can only find pro-life perspectives very fucking ignorant.
i will never be apologetic for my views on suicide. it's the one thing i feel very strongly about after being on the sides of wanting life, death, then being in limbo.
anyone who wants it, no matter the age and situation, has the absolute right to kill themselves even if someone else cries about what could have been. everything else is a second or even third thought. if they succeed, then they can be at peace.
so fuck you if you don't like my formed perspective. beliefs that have formed after experiencing many sides of life. after trying multiple times and rubber banding back to the same pain, different time. multiple therapists, psychiatrists, self-help, self-improvement, self-love, increasing confidence, reducing insecurities, acceptance, meeting new people, finding possible friends, romantic relationships, exploring, traveling, learning new skills, finding new jobs, and many others that i've fucking tried. a life long struggle if it was to be continued.
clinging on to hope like an ignorant fool only trying to see the happiness you might receive once that goal is finally achieved, when everything else that goes against it simply exists without lifting much of a finger. all the while you use up many years of your life trying to reach that goal. it's not a badge of honor you wear. you're just too in denial to see that other people took advantage of your time and energy, narrowing your path in life to just grinding hours for a measly fucking paycheck. going back home tired with barely any energy to use for your own activities.
and as a child, molested, beaten, bullied, silenced by 'family' members and treated like a black sheep after finally retaliating at a later age by calling the cops. even the cops ignored my plea. all of which carried over to my adulthood. imagine if i was aware of suicide, had the means to, and successfully killed myself after one of those experiences as a child. i wouldn't be in this forum trying to look for a method and using it to kill myself. a ripple that won't stop until i'm finally gone. i wouldn't have to deal with the now.
things 'could have been better,' i could have been 'saved' from it, but i wasn't. not with the type of people i was surrounded by which many are involuntarily subjected to.
i've fully realized that it all comes down to choice no matter what the situation is. hesitation exists because of 'pro-life perspectives' that had been instilled in people throughout their lives, and there are far too many fucking pro-lifers in this forum. the funny thing is some want to kill themselves and have the means to do it or is actively searching/buying the materials, yet they continue to spread their pro-life ideals in a place where suicide topics should be predominant. why? because outside ss is all about pro-life idealism and we have enough of that beyond this forum.
the ideas that branch off 'hope' is so fucking sickening to hear at this point. words that we've heard repeated too many god damn times such as "you're still so young. you have to so much to live for" -- "go try something new to distract yourself" -- "never give up"
consider yourself very fucking lucky if you never or barely got to experience shit, traumatizing things in your life. being born in a much better situation where financial support exists, never having to worry about money. where you have a safe place to actually call home. overall a place where you can fall back on if society goes against you because your fucking parents won't let the 'real world' fuck you up just to teach you a life lesson.
i express what i believe in strongly and with anger because i'm tired of the nonsense some people spew on here. responses that fail to see what it all comes down to.
choice is not limited by age or situation; only others impose of such limits.
i will never try to stop you if you want to kill yourself no matter your age and situation. i can only hope you leave peacefully enough. people are just petty to inflict further pain if you have a history. searching for what little justice they can get because they couldn't get it from a failed system.
i had expectations in this forum when i first joined (which was not a good idea to have as always). after reading the 'mainstream suicide prevention' post, i felt so understood. it gave me a sense of control back in my life after reading about the multiple sources/methods on how to kill yourself, about how it's accepted and not taboo. until i met more and more pro-lifers. seeing responses so dismissive of what the person is dealing with and using the same god damn advice you'd hear outside of the forum. it became tiring to see.
this will ever stop as it is welcomed. i can only find pro-life perspectives very fucking ignorant.
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