Children and goodbyes

[FluffyDove]

Those of you who are leaving your children behind, will you say goodbye, if so, how? And how do we stop them from blaming themselves, and convince them to live their lives without us?

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

One thing that they can do that is totally non emotional is to structure the estate correctly. If you have limited assets make sure to apply for every personal loan/uncollateralized loan/credit card you can before CTB and somehow pass funds to your heirs that way. Needs to be gifted before CTB in a way that bypasses probate... you can do this without them knowing

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Those of you who are leaving your children behind, will you say goodbye, if so, how? And how do we stop them from blaming themselves, and convince them to live their lives without us?

This is a very touchy subject with no right or wrong answer. There are many factors involved and it's up to the individual to decide what's best. But I will say that you can't stop them from feeling one way or the other about it regardless.

 

[Thanatonaut]

I have 2 teenage boys. Both of them have lived most of their lives watching me struggle with my medical conditions. And they have watched as the government has systematically stripped away my ability to get the medications that allow me to function in everyday life. They've watched me be reduced to a suffering wreck of a person, and then they watched a doctor bring me back from the brink of CTB. They watched me work my ass off to rebuild my life. And then in October, they watched it all come crashing down when they finally came after that doctor. So while they will be crushed when I leave, as any child is losing a parent, I'm confident that they will understand why. And they will blame everyone responsible for putting their father in this position.

 

[justsad&done]

I agree with @Brick In The Wall - it's a touchy subject and unfortunately there is no simple answer or any words that can make everything better or understandable to children who are left to deal with this. I think that unfortunately we can say certain things about blame or living life, but really it's to make the parent feel better. The child/children are going to feel many mixed emotions no matter what.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't have any children so I know nothing. However in my opinion if someone is suffering that badly, suicide is inevitable. We are all human and there is only an certain level of pain we can tolerate.