Childhood thread

[IveHadEnough]

Any stories?

From myself:
I have a light intellectual disability + Asperger's. And my childhood was super harsh. By the time I went to school I hadn't been diagnosed yet so I had to study with 'normal' people. Obviously, there was a lot of bullying. At first I used to be just a local weirdo, 'that quiet kid' who never really talks or interacts with anyone. Then, when puberty ensued, I ended up being beaten up almost on weekly basis. It was sooo bad. There were tons of harassment, name-calling and other things.
I can still remember it. When there was a public event and I had to sit on a bench with someone (the bench half empty and me on the opposite side of couse) a girl younger than me by two years would scream and hit me like ten times saying 'Hey you retard, go back! We don't want you here!' The best case would be if she just *angrily* shot up from her place and quickly walked away to the opposite side of the school grounds without looking back.

Lol, I guess...

 

[Going Home]

I'm sorry that happened. You should've ignored that girl. No one has the right to call someone a retard and tell them to go back because they are not wanted there.

Even at a young age I would said,
"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO CALL ME A RETARD? IF YOU CANT MAKE ME GO BACK THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP BECAUSE I AM FED UP WITH NASTY SHITBAGS LIKE YOU. SO FUCK YOU!"

I'm sure you were a nice, quiet kid though.

 

[Oblivion Lover]

Wow, man, that's so ridiculously cruel and unfair. It's hard to believe that kids can be so utterly evil. This world is so messed up it makes me sick. I can't say I can relate with your experience at school because I was treated fairly fine by other students, but I'm really sorry that you had to went through that. We all are. I'm not really good at this emotional support thing, but if it helps I can share a particularly bad moment I had when I was a kid.
I was like 7-8 years old at the time. My class was tasked with a science assignment by the teacher. I, an avid science fan since I can remember, ended up making a much more professional assignment than I was supposed to do, and it looked like it was made by someone two or three years older. When the teacher saw the finished assignment, she refused to believe it was done by me, called me from my desk, and started yelling at me in the front of the other students for me to admit that it wasn't me that had done it (how professional of her!). She yelled for many minutes, and I thought she would never stop, so I just gave up and started crying and lied that it wasn't me who had done it so she would stop yelling. I'd never been yelled at that way before, and I just couldn't stand it. When I returned to my desk, everyone was looking at me. Later that day, when I got back home, I didn't tell my mother for some reason, and I just shredded the assignment to pieces while I cried, but this time it wasn't of sadness, but pure hatred. That might had been the first time I'd consciously wanted to murder someone. That event changed me forever.

 

[deltahead]

on my 13th birthday, i had two online chats with adult men. the first asked me to pick whatever sex act we would roleplay that night, he would listen to me as a "gift". we had been talking since i was 12, and continued talking for that entire year pretty much. the second one was during a Skype call late at night. this other guy pretended to be a cat while masturbating to me and i heard the whole thing, trying to convince myself i "liked" this or that it wasn't absolutely insane. i remember hearing my dad in the kitchen and thinking about that contrast is still depressing to me. that's just one of many stories, though. there are many more "events".

i do not have stories set in "real life" because nothing ever happened in my childhood and i did not do anything. i basically did not exist, never have.

wait, does 13 still count as "childhood"? did i just make a fool of myself?

 

[bath salts]

My mother has always been overly critical about everything I've done, from an extremely young age. I vividly remember being 6-7 years old and having my mother scream at me at the top of her lungs because I had forgotten to put my pencil in my bag the night before school. It progressed and she ignored my mental health and suicide attempts (my father didn't, but he also did say that if I were to kill myself nobody would miss me) and now she calls me a loser almost every day of my life. To make a long story short: my mother is the root of my self hatred and suicidal thoughts/self harm because she made me hate myself. I blame my childhood for me being the way I am and seeking a way out of this life :)

 

[Ladylethal]

Had a kid run up and tackle me from behind when I was in school.
I went flying and hit the pavement hard. I later found out that the kid that came to help me up was the one that dared the other kid to tackle me.
I never found out why they did it. I never understood alot of things that happened to me.
I was a shy, ugly girl that loved to read and teach myself new languages. I loved to draw and would spend hours practicing over and over again. I loved to be kind to people...it made me happy. I am sad for that little girl.

 

[alizee]

I had one friend that I did biking with a lot and all throughout childhood. I'm guessing nowadays it wouldn't be possible because parents get in trouble if they're not supervising. Anyhow, we would bike all over and had everywhere mapped out in our heads. The town we lived wasn't great when it came to treating people nice like today with the acceptance push but that didn't matter much when on a bike. Friendship fell apart around the time of high school or middle school. I think it was for the best because we did many stupid things that could have ended in serious injuries.

 

[Interlude]

My uncle repeatedly raped me and formed a relationship with me when I was 8. He took pictures of me and filmed me, sometimes doing things with his dog. I also witnessed him beat his wife, my aunt. My parents never intervened.

 

[alizee]

My uncle repeatedly raped me and formed a relationship with me when I was 8. He took pictures of me and filmed me, sometimes doing things with his dog. I also witnessed him beat his wife, my aunt. My parents never intervened.

Wow. Did he eventually get caught? Someone sick as that might still have the pictures and maybe the police can get a search warrant if you contact them about it. They should raid his home and tear it up at the very least. I doubt the police would want to go into that sicko's home.

 

[Ladylethal]

My uncle repeatedly raped me and formed a relationship with me when I was 8. He took pictures of me and filmed me, sometimes doing things with his dog. I also witnessed him beat his wife, my aunt. My parents never intervened.

I was abused too I feel your pain...When I finally told my mom she asked me "Well how big was it?" Your uncle deserves to have his head bashed the fuck in.

Wow. Did he eventually get caught? Someone sick as that might still have the pictures and maybe the police can get a search warrant if you contact them about it. They should raid his home and tear it up at the very least. I doubt the police would want to go into that sicko's home.

If he shared the photos online etc the other sick fucks that downloaded them can be charged too. You could even receive compensation....I know money couldn't take your pain away but I too hope something can be done regardless

 

[Interlude]

Wow. Did he eventually get caught? Someone sick as that might still have the pictures and maybe the police can get a search warrant if you contact them about it. They should raid his home and tear it up at the very least. I doubt the police would want to go into that sicko's home.

He's in prison for trying to poison my aunt, but nothing else. I don't like to think about any images of me as a kid like that out there.

 

[Dead beat dad]

My uncle repeatedly raped me and formed a relationship with me when I was 8. He took pictures of me and filmed me, sometimes doing things with his dog. I also witnessed him beat his wife, my aunt. My parents never intervened.

There is a special place in hell for your cunt uncle. I'm so sorry this happened to you

 

[Susannah]

My mother has always been overly critical about everything I've done, from an extremely young age. I vividly remember being 6-7 years old and having my mother scream at me at the top of her lungs because I had forgotten to put my pencil in my bag the night before school. It progressed and she ignored my mental health and suicide attempts (my father didn't, but he also did say that if I were to kill myself nobody would miss me) and now she calls me a loser almost every day of my life. To make a long story short: my mother is the root of my self hatred and suicidal thoughts/self harm because she made me hate myself. I blame my childhood for me being the way I am and seeking a way out of this life :)

I get so angry on your behalf. My mother was (and still is, but even worse now) not a good mother to me. Honestly I don't think she likes me at all. She never respected me for having my own opinions, she actually called me a whore several times, cause I used to hang out with boys rather than girls. I'm an adult now, with my own kid, and I know she's sick (mentally and physically), but she's still trying to make me feel bad, control me and my life. It's interesting to see how different she treat my younger brother. With so much respect and love. I believe mother- daughter relationships can be very difficult.

Much love to you.

 

[Rocksandsand]

on my 13th birthday, i had two online chats with adult men. the first asked me to pick whatever sex act we would roleplay that night, he would listen to me as a "gift". we had been talking since i was 12, and continued talking for that entire year pretty much. the second one was during a Skype call late at night. this other guy pretended to be a cat while masturbating to me and i heard the whole thing, trying to convince myself i "liked" this or that it wasn't absolutely insane. i remember hearing my dad in the kitchen and thinking about that contrast is still depressing to me. that's just one of many stories, though. there are many more "events".

i do not have stories set in "real life" because nothing ever happened in my childhood and i did not do anything. i basically did not exist, never have.

wait, does 13 still count as "childhood"? did i just make a fool of myself?

I am so fucking sorry. You never should have had to deal with being groomed like that or ever been put in that adult situation. And yes - you were absolutely still a child

My uncle repeatedly raped me and formed a relationship with me when I was 8. He took pictures of me and filmed me, sometimes doing things with his dog. I also witnessed him beat his wife, my aunt. My parents never intervened.

The amount of sexual abuse on these forums is truly horrifying. I am so sorry. I am not sure what jurisdiction you live in, or if it's worth it, but you could put in a report to the police. In some places it allows you to at a minimum access free counselling, and and maximum, get that scum bag a conviction that will get his head beaten in every day he is in prison.

I didn't have a good childhood. My dad was (and is) a wonderful man. But he would deliberately ignore my now-deceased mother's abuse. I know now that he wanted to divorce her, but he was confident that the courts would've given custody of my brother and I to her instead of him.

We never had much money, so my brother and I were the scruffy kids. We were also nerdy and bookish, so that didn't help. I remember being 7 or 8 and waiting for the bus. I used to get bullied a lot at the bus stop so I would read a book under a tree nearby. One day, two of the nastiest boys I've ever met came over and dragged me to the bus stop. I was crying and hitting and I hit one of them in the groin, and he belted me hard in the stomach. I remember his older sister telling him off for hitting a girl, and he just kept squealing about being hit in the balls.

Another time, I was riding my bike around the small town - alone, always alone - and the local kids were having a water fight at the local park. They called me over and proceeded to soak me. I went home crying and my mother just said 'well what do you expect? You know they hate you.'

Later as a teenager, I spend a lot of time living out of my backpack at friends places or sleeping on the foreshore. I found some other people in high school who actually liked me for being bookish. So I was an unofficial foster kid to a lot of parents.

It's weird though. Even looking back to then, I feel like my mental health was so much better. It's like while I was in the battlefield I couldn't afford to feel hopeless. I self-isolate now (which I hear is normal for people with ptsd/c-ptsd) and just spend my time working and being massively depressed..

 

[Shamana]

I think my childhood was pretty decent compared to most people in here. Suffered from my parents divorce and a alcoholic mother, but had no/minimal bullying etc.

 

[bath salts]

I get so angry on your behalf. My mother was (and still is, but even worse now) not a good mother to me. Honestly I don't think she likes me at all. She never respected me for having my own opinions, she actually called me a whore several times, cause I used to hang out with boys rather than girls. I'm an adult now, with my own kid, and I know she's sick (mentally and physically), but she's still trying to make me feel bad, control me and my life. It's interesting to see how different she treat my younger brother. With so much respect and love. I believe mother- daughter relationships can be very difficult.

Much love to you.

Thank you so much for the kindness, I'm sorry to hear you had to go through something like that :( I really appreciate your response, it makes me feel less like I deserved this treatment from her.

 

[ExitTheDay]

I was bullied a lot in middle school, although it never really phased me or caused me to have suicidal ideation because I knew what they did/ said was projected from their own insecurities and they would always call me the 'lone one' because they thought I had no friends, little did they know all of my true friends were in different schools, and I wouldn't associate myself with tools like themselves lol

 

[angelicism999]

i don't rly remember my childhood? i just have a lot of random snippets, like dad locking me in the basement, hitting me and screaming at me for hours, stuff like that. the dude was also just a psycho to me and my mom, he'd lose it for the tiniest reasons and break things, and if he got angry with either of us while he was driving he'd like run red lights On Purpose. someone sexually abused me when i was like 5, i remember having flashbacks and nightmares starting when i was around 6/7. i don't rly know any details tho. as a teenager i did a lot of self-harm and also started like camming, tricking and getting into a lot of bad relationships with way older guys. i ended up sustaining a lot of sexual violence but still couldn't stop because i'm dumb as bricks and being treated horribly gets me like reactively attached to people :')

 

[Sunset764]

I don't remember my childhood that well but I do remember getting hit by my parents a lot, I remember my father threatening to throw a knife at me if I didn't keep quiet. I also remember being the class clown at my school until they finally kicked me out for being too troubled.

 

[littlelady774]

I grew up very sheltered and in a religious home.
We had the "abstinence" talk at school in 8th grade one time, and I was 14 and still had very little idea of how sex worked.
I even remember raising my hand and asking what a condom was.
That got me a lot of teasing

 

[Thanatos]

I grew up with the delusion/belief that my family hated me. This shattered my self image and made me assume everyone would hate me. If even my own parents didnt love me then who would? I became suicidal before the age of 10 and had my first serious attempt at 14. It's only gone downhill from there even if I know those beliefs were mostly generated from my severe anxiety and persistent and major depression. I never had a normal childhood despite the opportunities there were. I've always felt a disconnect since then and am now a shell of who I once was. At least I'm not scared anymore though

 

[not_a_robot]

My uncle repeatedly raped me and formed a relationship with me when I was 8. He took pictures of me and filmed me, sometimes doing things with his dog. I also witnessed him beat his wife, my aunt. My parents never intervened.

I'm convinced that most adults only breed children to enjoy seeing them abused; the rest are just mindless idiots.
(in my case, dad just wanted kids to abuse/defile, mom was just a mindless idiot who went along with it because thought she was supposed to do what society wanted).

I grew up with the delusion/belief that my family hated me. This shattered my self image and made me assume everyone would hate me. If even my own parents didnt love me then who would? I became suicidal before the age of 10 and had my first serious attempt at 14. It's only gone downhill from there even if I know those beliefs were mostly generated from my severe anxiety and persistent and major depression. I never had a normal childhood despite the opportunities there were. I've always felt a disconnect since then and am now a shell of who I once was. At least I'm not scared anymore though

My mom was the only one in my family who loved me. Part of the reason I can't trust people is because I spent early life surrounded by people who obviously hated me, but I was constantly lied to and told they loved me. If "love" means constantly being abused/lied to/manipulated by people who publicly pretend to care about me, then, no thanks, I can live without that.
You're in Canada?

 

[Laststop]

I too have been abused in many ways, especially by my father. I have a family full of lies. I don't know what's true about much of anything anymore. Not even who my real blood is. I also was bullied. I was always bigger than the other kids, and it brought a lot of unwanted attention. I got into a lot of fights, and the adults blamed me. As my peers and I got older things matured, but I really didn't follow along the same. I was geeky, and even though I liked girls I was more happy with the things I always liked as a kid. As we all got older I felt less confident with myself in the world I was in. Geeks have at least some friends in the TV shows and movies now. I really didn't have many. Sometimes none. Adult life has been a dumpster fire. The last 20 years I set into a grove I hated, but maintained. That all fell apart. Now I hate my life more than ever.

 

[ddim]

(sorry for my poor English)
I got a critical mother too. I cannot imagine how a mother could ask her child to eat food picked from a trash can or kneel down by the road.

She asked me to get full score in the exam, one less points meant one beat.

My parents hated me to go outdoor. I had to make up my summer/winter vacation diary(school homework), because I spent all my vacation time on the tiles of the floor in the house in the childhood.

After dozen of year, I found that's because they are losers, they needed some target to vent, and venting hard meant they were diligent parents for them.

Give them the credit for my ADHD & PTSD.

 

[Thanatos]

You're in Canada?

Yeah Ontario, hbu if you dont mind me asking?

 

[Black_Knight]

I don't really remember all that much. I remember being a "sensitive" kid, people were always using that word to criticize me, like we're in some kind of bizarro world where somehow that's a fucking flaw. I would wear colorful shorts and clothes with cute pictures on them and I was bullied for it. People were calling me a faggot before I even knew what the word meant, including my father (turned out to be true though lmao). This one girl punched me once, and told me to hit her back. I didn't and I started crying instead. After that she kinda treated me like a friend which was weird and unexpected. But through all of this I developed a really manipulative and vindictive persona to deal with all the flak I was getting for not being tough enough from people who I never did anything to in the first fucking place. If someone wronged me, I'd wait until the time was right to really screw them over so they wouldn't hurt me again. I'd play like they'd hurt me, that they'd successfully asserted their dominance, but secretly I'd be full of anger and plotting to prove to them that in spite of my fragility, no, *I* am dominant over my own domain, and you are nothing within it. I actually credit my own maliciousness and social distrust for being a large factor that prevented me from being abused, or at the very least from taking abuse at face value as a hit to my self-esteem. I threatened my father with poisoning him once, when I was really young, must've been 8 or so. I found my mother crying in the kitchen. She's the kind of incredibly rare good-hearted person who straight up does not do wrong. HE did this to her. She's obese now because of HIM. And I was angry. It didn't scare him, but he knew I actually would if I had to. It was a threat to his own psychologically manipulative bullshit, that maybe his hell-loins created their own hellspawn. He saw himself in me and he loathed me for it, disinherited me when I was 12, couldn't stand looking at his own fucking reflection. I was the only person who ever effectively challenged him, and I was way better at it than he was at a much younger age, and he fucking hates me for it. I love it. He favored my brother, who in spite of being more intelligent, charismatic and overall a better person than me, is way more easily manipulated. I can't believe my brother wanted and still to this day wants that fucking alien's approval. He never hit us, he was too much of a pompous ass obsessed with appearances (like father like son loool) to do that because he knew how risky it was. Whenever he had a problem with one of us, he'd recruit the other to attack the first. My brother threw his punches for him. Always orchestrating conflicts between his own fucking children. Damn this is getting weird. But yeah fuck that guy lol. He's on this indecipherable level of crazy that you can never pin an actual crime to. Robbed my bitch of a stepmother of her family, made her hate us for no reason. Fuck if I hate inheriting that. Oh and he treated her kids like less than fucking dirt. Made them sleep in the basement, used every excuse to make them feel unwelcome in *his* home even though they didn't want to fucking be there and they knew their mom was making the wrong choice. And of course he got them to take it out on me (mostly me, I had his special hatred) and my brother in his usual fashion.

I never wanted to be tough, instead I wanted for everyone to get along and express themselves and be happy. But in choosing not to be tough I kind of created a much more antisocial part of my personality because it was the only defense mechanism I had. Now most people as adults are outgrowing that bullshit but I still have this entire defunct part of me that's dedicated to vindicating me and ensuring I always come out on top.

My childhood wasn't even bad by any objective standards, aside from the social isolation. I just didn't want to play peoples' games so I played my own instead, and I'm left with a lot of residual anger, further complicated by the fact that now I know that the way I adapted makes me into something I don't want to be.

I mean seriously, if you're only becoming superficially "tough" because everyone is telling you to, then how tough are you REALLY? That's kind of what it's about.

EDIT: Sorry for the unwarranted textwall catharsis but really, I needed it. The tl;dr of it is that we're both fucking sociopaths but my sociopathy was brought about by his and I'm at least tempered by my mother's compassion in that I feel some fucking remorse for everything I do. Shit is fucked you guys. I know I was never beaten. I wouldn't have stood for it. If an adult ever beat me, I would have fucking killed them. So that's a matter of course. I'm tired of feeling like my bullshit doesn't matter because there is no hard substance, because my father was intelligent and evil enough to ensure that there never was any. I hate knowing that my genes are tainted with his BULLSHIT but also being aware of that fact while my brother gets off scot-free being the savior of the world having not had to deal with these tendencies not only because he probably didn't inherit the relevant genes but because he was too fucking ignorant to know what was going on in the first place. So yes. I am FUCKING. PISSED. I've been dealt this personality hand I don't fucking want. I've been treated like shit for reasons outside of my fucking control. I've treated other people like shit for reasons outside of my control (hurrdurr I don't beleaf u, predispositional behaviour dousnt exist, fuck off. I fucking hate you. Tell that to a PTSD victim you fucking twat). Everything is FUCKED.

 

[ElderlyJackson32]

My mom suffers from munchausen by pxoy my entire life I was told I was sick.mh entire life is spent time in hospitals and lost all education etc and then realize mg mom had munchausen when I was 16 maybe 17. so now I'm stuck here years later knowing nothing but an iv in my arm.

My mom suffers from munchausen by pxoy my entire life I was told I was sick.mh entire life is spent time in hospitals and lost all education etc and then realize mg mom had munchausen when I was 16 maybe 17. so now I'm stuck here years later knowing nothing but an iv in my arm.

Can't spell shit rn

 

[Ricks]

I was also abused mentally and physically by my Mother from a very young age. She always called me names like loser and bastard (I was adopted as an infant), my real Mother had me when she was 16 and put me up for adoption. I was beaten almost everyday. When I was 16 she pulled a gun on me (unloaded I found out later) while hitting me, the neighbor's heard my screaming and called the police. She spent a night in jail and I was placed in a few foster homes for the next two years.
My heart goes out to all the people here abused, bullied, or molested as a child, it's truly awful and scarring for life.

 

[lostangel]

I didn't grow up around drugs or alcohol so in other people eyes I had a good childhood. But in my eyes I didn't I witnessed the behind the scenes.
I was emotional abused it still affects me today I think about all the abhorrent things said to me by my mother and people at school. I know it might not sound bad but it's so much worse than you might think. It has shattered my self esteem and my whole soul has been crushed by it not to sound corny. I believe that has ruined me for life. It blows my mind that people say such bad things to other people and feel NO guilt.

 

[Stillness N Woe]

My parents were drug addicts, dad was in and out of prison, was a pretty big drug supplier for the east coast. But honestly, I knew no different. So I thought that life was normal. It wasn't until our house was raided and we went into foster care (I was 13) that I knew something was incredibly wrong. My mom was the perfect PTA mom during the day, and drug addict at night.
Once I was in foster care life went to shit. I became an emancipated minor at 16 and homeless, and all the crazy shit that goes along with surviving the streets.
My parents are both semi crazy now. In different ways. But they both keep their crazy to themselves for the most part. I really think my adulthood fucked me more.
Hugs to all the ones who were so badly hurt.