Cheating Gf

[abruptum]

so turns out my girlfriend of 3 years was behind my back cheating on me
early in our relationship i had thoughts but i brushed it off as jealousy because we were young and new to dating
get a text today from a friend who i haven't talked to in a while that my gf is texting her bf and they are flirting
i told her i can't deal with that stress and that we shouldn't be together and she kept telling me it was a mistake and that she loves me and i'm her soulmate.
i just don't see how if she really loved me she would do that
part of it feels like it's my fault for not having energy because of my depression and that forced her to talk to others but i still think cheating is so awful
i can't deal with this right now i just don't know what to say or do

 

[BigNarkoleptic]

Cheat get her back for cheating

 

[lonerclown666]

in this age everyone cheat

 

[Last chance]

Give yourself some time for the emotions to calm down so that you can think more rationally then you can decide what to so.

 

[Celerity]

If you're her soulmate, why would she want to cheat? You're better off without her.

 

[Avyn]

My ex also cheated on me multiple times and left me heartbroken. I can completely understand your thoughts and what you are going through.
First of all, never forgive her for what she has done. If she really loved you, she wouldn't try to get attention from other men, let's not talk about even getting intimate with them. She would not have told you about what she's doing if your friend didn't tell you. She only feels bad because she got caught and this is the sad truth.
If she didn't like your negative energy and you being depressed, she could have talked to you about it but she decided to go behind your back and cheat. I don't think anyone that loves their partner would go to the extent of cheating on them, that's not something you do when you are in love and respect your soulmate.

Respect yourself and give yourself time. Let her know she can't do this and treat you like this, it's unacceptable. She should be supporting you and not being with other men. There is no excuse for cheating. If you forgive her, there is a high chance she will do it again and again.
Also.. your trust is broken and you're hurt, nothing in the relationship would feel the same anymore even if you forgive her and give her a second chance. If your girlfriend did have a problem with you, she should've communicated with you instead of cheating for who knows how long.

To the people that said "cheat on her too" and "everyone cheats".. that's a wrong and immature way of thinking, let alone give this advice to someone that's heartbroken. Getting revenge won't heal the wounds, and not everyone cheats in a relationship.
Give yourself time and support to move on, there's plenty of women (and men) that are faithful, and I am sure you will find a nice girl for yourself one day.
Focus on getting better and healing from depression, move on from this awful situation, respect yourself. Don't let anybody treat you this way.

 

[lonerclown666]

waman love thugs

 

[usernameforhere]

Some

so turns out my girlfriend of 3 years was behind my back cheating on me
early in our relationship i had thoughts but i brushed it off as jealousy because we were young and new to dating
get a text today from a friend who i haven't talked to in a while that my gf is texting her bf and they are flirting
i told her i can't deal with that stress and that we shouldn't be together and she kept telling me it was a mistake and that she loves me and i'm her soulmate.
i just don't see how if she really loved me she would do that
part of it feels like it's my fault for not having energy because of my depression and that forced her to talk to others but i still think cheating is so awful
i can't deal with this right now i just don't know what to say or do

sorry you're going through that. Personality characteris tics like these Are largely the result of the child experiences someone goes through. its not about you. It's about her. Some people just need to validation of flirting with other people, of cheating.... maybe in her mind this is what love is.

there's all sort of personality characteristic, disorders, other words but basically if someone doesn't understand a concept of love like you do and behaves in concert with their perspective it's not because you weren't enough. It's because they weren't.

 

[Anonymous_A]

Never been cheated on, or cheated but that's something that scares me shitless.
Like I'd be broken.
Imagine building a family, happily married, nice house, car...kids etc. Then one day you finish work, just to find your partner sleeping with somebody else.

But ay, life goes on. Gotta self reflect, better yourself, focus on yourself and one day you'll meet somebody worth yo time and love.

 

[Gaybonez]

You want advice? Don't listen to Narkelopetic's advise and contribute to the cycle. Life is hard enough, don't make others miserable. Process it and move on. Sit with it and do not run from pain. Easier said than done, but try and grow and not throw your pain onto others.

 

[BornofDust]

I'm sorry about what your going through. She has no excuse for her actions tbh. Cheating , whether physical or emotional, destroys any sort of trust you have in the person forever as you probably already see right now. I wouldn't not suggest cheating back like a lot of people are saying to do. Two wrongs don't make a right. Just because cheating is " common nowadays" doesn't mean its wrong. Relationships are hard and so I understand how you could blame yourself for this. At the end of the day though its her fault for not being able to properly communicate her needs to you and instead resorts to flirtation and cheating.

Even if she genuinely love you and she's you as your soulmate, she clearly lacks the maturity and discipline to properly treat you like you are her soulmate and seems to want to get her needs first and foremost without a second thought. Seems like her love for you couldn't stop her from acting impulsively. That says a lot about her. Not you.

It seemed like she wanted to have her cake and eat it too tbh. To be able to get as she please while still having an emotionally fulfilling relationship with you. Either that or simply that she lacked the discipline to communicate to you what's going on and letting her urges control her.

Regardless though I'm sorry for what happened. A soulmate would never even considered cheating. I suggest you think things through and take a break from relationships for a while as long as you wish. Give yourself time to focus on yourself and understand yourself more deeply so that you will be able to have a more solid foundation if/whenever you decide to go back onto a relationship.

 

[GoingMyOwnWay]

It's easy for people to say "leave her" but I know from personal experience how hard it is to leave someone that you know is cheating behind your back. But the thought of being alone can often hurt more than the thought they're cheating.

Speaking from the standpoint of someone whose been in a similar position, it's better for your mental health to separate yourself from someone who would treat you with such disrespect. There's no point beating yourself up over it, even if you changed to better suit her the same behavior would resurface at some point.

 

[lonerclown666]

i never had a gf but sometimes i wonder what is the point in getting one when this always happens

 

[Anonymous_A]

i never had a gf but sometimes i wonder what is the point in getting one when this always happens

It's a 'life experience' good or bad, it's just an experience one can choose to partake in during this thing we call life

 

[lofticries]

Whatever you do in this situation remember that it isn't your fault. The worst thing someone who gets cheated on can do is blame themselves and take on the load of sorting shit out. That should be the job of the cheater only.

i never had a gf but sometimes i wonder what is the point in getting one when this always happens

Honestly think monogamy isn't for everyone despite it being the norm in everyone's mind. Although I think there are some faithful people out there the saying 'everyone either cheats or is thinking about cheating' had to have come from somewhere. If relationships were for me I could never see myself cheating on someone. The idea of playing with someone's emotions and trust makes me sick to my stomach.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Sorry that happened to you some people can be so cruel and two faced.

 

[Symbiote]

Date the girl that texted you that your gf is cheating on her bf. It's like a relationships swap. No harm no foul. Or dump them all and go no contact.

 

[LunarPyotr]

This is just awful. I feel you brother. I had to go through this shit 3 times in a row.
But I have to admit that my last gf looked really legit. I mean like legit loving me and so on. We even drove to Bulgaria, Croatia and we were like 2 weeks in Calto, Italy the next year but in reality I was just her another "Toy" and she was dating and going out with some guy from the Swiss and I discovered that shit after she left her phone on the table and she got an message from some guy. After I confronted her about that, she just called me some disgusting names and left with her middle finger out, through the door. The worst thing was that we were almost 3 years together..

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I guess normies are gonna norm.

 

[WornOutLife]

If you're her soulmate, why would she want to cheat? You're better off without her.

I couldn't have put it in better words.

 

[abruptum]

I guess normies are gonna norm.

time to put on the maid outfit and cat ears

 

[lonerclown666]

at least you got a gf

 

[almamuerta]

You have no kids, therefore no ties and 3 yrs is a blink of an eye. Cut your loses, and them out of your life and move on.

 

[TowerUpright]

I was cheated on one time (that I know of) and basically called her on her bullshit.

Me - "I've found out you've been cheating on me with 'Bob.'"

Her - "It was a mistake! I'm so sorry!! It will never happen again!"

Me - "You're sorry you've been caught. And afraid of being alone without anyone."

Her - silence....

I learned this was just attention seeking behaviour, and I freed her to get all the attention she wants.

In retrospect, I should have asked her if she would mind if I cheated on her to even things out. If she said yes, well, I would have called her out on not taking the commitment as seriously as possible.. But now at this point, it really doesn't matter.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

waman love thugs

And Thugs are always 'Dickheads'!!!

so turns out my girlfriend of 3 years was behind my back cheating on me
early in our relationship i had thoughts but i brushed it off as jealousy because we were young and new to dating
get a text today from a friend who i haven't talked to in a while that my gf is texting her bf and they are flirting
i told her i can't deal with that stress and that we shouldn't be together and she kept telling me it was a mistake and that she loves me and i'm her soulmate.
i just don't see how if she really loved me she would do that
part of it feels like it's my fault for not having energy because of my depression and that forced her to talk to others but i still think cheating is so awful
i can't deal with this right now i just don't know what to say or do

Sorry this has happened to you, if she's slept with the other then kick her two faced ass out of there, if she hasn't then you could let her know that you know and tell her to make a choice! Failing that put a laxative in her smoothie and at least get a laugh out the situation!!! :-)

 

[TooConscious]

We live in a society that glorifies cheating, society is so pathetic the only way most people can cum is if they are sticking it in someone knowing there's a risk their partner could find out hurting them and maybe others.
People get off on manipulating and going behind others backs, species is a joke.

My ex would enjoy getting fucked by a scruff not only risking getting std's or pregnant... He would film her and show local people or bring a friend and make her feel guilty leaving his friend out so she would end up getting used by the both of them.
She even saw public comments how they were proud of 'making a bucket out of that one'.
This is the kind of 'drama' people love.

 

[lonerclown666]

Seriously bro now that i am close to die i do everything right now to got a gf but i am sure i will die without having one