I am a practicing Catholic, but I am terrible at it. I am a hypocrite who believes what the Church teaches, but breaks it. I rosary every night, and never miss any days of obligation. I suffer suicidal ideation because of regrets. I am planning to confess all my sins to my priest before I CTB, and he will be the only person who will know because of the seal of confession. While he will not approve this plan, and will not absolve me because of suicidal plans, I take comfort that a man of God and God Himself is listening to me in my time of need. I pray to God that He gives me cancer (or any deadly terminal disease), accident, fatal immediate misfortunes, instead of a person who is less sinful or has more worth to humanity.
If I die and went to Heaven (assuming I'm not going to hell), I'll ask God some very hard questions concerning humanity and events that seems contradictory to His love.
May Christ, our Lord and merciful Saviour, and Mary, the most Immaculate Virgin pray for us believers and non-believers and those who is suffering and going through suicidal ideation. Through their intercession, may those died from suicide and going through this "phase" be shown the Light that God has prepared us in our end of life. May God forgive us our sins and even those who died in their suicide attempt. May those departed rest in peace. Requiescat in pace. Amen.