Discussion Catching Feelings

[pain6batch9]

Thank you.

I wanted to start there. Thank you for reading this, responding to it if you chose to, even if it's to tell me how very wrong I am. Thank you for your time. Mostly though, I wanted to explain that since Sunday, reading the posts here has brought a sense of clarity to what would otherwise have been a very difficult week. Because I would have spiralled into an abyss had I not read some of the emotional and heart stopping pieces on here. That's the soppy bit over.

I might not be the only one to have an emotional response to some of the posts. I've heard the term 'catching feelings' for a personal relationship situation but I'd like to, if I may, co-opt the term for another purpose. Because some of these posts have thrown feelings at me, like loneliness, pain, anger (at the world), and yes, dare I say it, love. This might be confusing so I'll try to break it down into bits, not to patronise you in any way. This is me thinking and writing at the same time.

You catch feelings for the writing. The situation being described or the pain in the voice of the narrator. You feel empathy with the storyteller. I was going to say, connection, if that's not too crazy, especially when they describe a situation you yourself have experience with. The tricky part is that my first instinct is always to comfort. I want to shout 'NO! Don't do that, do this!', and when the poster is asking for advice, or a discussion on a particular subject, it's probably okay to do that, right? My thinking here is the delicate balance of a careful considered opinion on a subject, on the one hand, and on the other pleading with them not to do what I know I might be driven myself to do one day. And it's horrifying to try to walk the line between empathy and independence in this way. Although, over the last three days my replies have become more intricate and considered as time has worn on.

I'm beginning to wonder if this very post I'm writing here was too early, whether I should have waited longer and honed my replies more. Being involved in the discussion as I am now. History will judge me, as I expect you to, dear reader. But I think in the days that follow, I'd be able to say it was worth thinking about this empathy line and how to traverse it without falling.

Post Script: Some of you held out your hand to me at a time I needed it. Kind of wish I'd found this site earlier. Again, I'm eternally grateful.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I expect a lot of us can relate to how you feel. I think it's our nature to try and solve problems we are presented with and it's sometimes easier to see other people's problems and think we can see a way through for them. Of course, the difficulty is actually doing the work.

But yeah, it's kind of ironic that we may want other people to keep trying and living yet, we're certain that suicide is the best option for us. I suppose it's hypocritical but on the other hand, I think there's something more sinister if we weren't like that. If we looked at everyone and hoped they would die! That really would be a death cult.

I think some people are more open to receiving advice than others but- like you say, you can usually sense that by the tone of their post. Most people are fairly tolerant too. So long as the wording isn't overly pushy, I think most people will recognise that someone is actually only trying to help. They'll often reply if they're not looking for advice.

I'm often impressed here by how tolerant people are of one another. You think what a lot of people are having to deal with. There is so much kindness here.

 

[pain6batch9]

I expect a lot of us can relate to how you feel. I think it's our nature to try and solve problems we are presented with and it's sometimes easier to see other people's problems and think we can see a way through for them. Of course, the difficulty is actually doing the work.

But yeah, it's kind of ironic that we may want other people to keep trying and living yet, we're certain that suicide is the best option for us. I suppose it's hypocritical but on the other hand, I think there's something more sinister if we weren't like that. If we looked at everyone and hoped they would die! That really would be a death cult.

I think some people are more open to receiving advice than others but- like you say, you can usually sense that by the tone of their post. Most people are fairly tolerant too. So long as the wording isn't overly pushy, I think most people will recognise that someone is actually only trying to help. They'll often reply if they're not looking for advice.

I'm often impressed here by how tolerant people are of one another. You think what a lot of people are having to deal with. There is so much kindness here.

You actually say what I wanted to say better than me here, thank you so much.