Venting Catatonic anyone?

[agony1996]

I'm in so much emotional pain, it's unbearable. I wonder if it's just me but when I'm in this much pain every minute feels like an eternity and I find myself in a catatonic-like state, I can hardly breathe I can't talk I just stare off mostly the tv is on and I'm looking at it but not watching it meaning I'm unaware of anything that's going on, I can't focus on anything except the pain. It's horrible, now I had a moment where I can actually write but it's just to let things out and to maybe get some responses from people but honestly I'm infuriated, sad, lonely and nostalgic of the life I once had but when I remember past good memories it hurts me so much because I can't have them anymore my circumstances won't let me. I want to scream, I want to cry but I can't even do that because of the huge knot I have in my throat. Sorry for the rant

 

[Arahant]

Relatable. Been there. Or at least, what I think is similar; dissociation.

Buteyko breathing can sometimes clear the fog a bit, so you can move. Free videos on youtube. Easy and free.

Is there any specific memory that triggers you to go into that state? If so it might be worked through.

Can you find any neutral or pleasant sensation anywhere in your body, or remember or imagine that?

 

[agony1996]

Relatable. Been there. Or at least, what I think is similar; dissociation.

Buteyko breathing can sometimes clear the fog a bit, so you can move. Free videos on youtube. Easy and free.

Is there any specific memory that triggers you to go into that state? If so it might be worked through.

Can you find any neutral or pleasant sensation anywhere in your body, or remember or imagine that?

Yeah maybe it's dissociation I'm not sure.
Any memory of how I was in the past, during good times, when I felt confident in my self image and smart, triggers it but there's not really much I can do because I can't change the way I am now and I can't change my circumstances and the thing is that huge lump in the throat and stomach makes it really hard to breathe.
I'm sorry, here I am complaining and you're just trying to help. Thank you

 

[Arahant]

You are welcome to complain.
In fact, if it at all helps I encourage you to do so. It's no worries.

Whatever works for you is whatever I want for you to do.
Not everything works for everyone.

What happened to you that changed your self image?

 

[agony1996]

You are welcome to complain.
In fact, if it at all helps I encourage you to do so. It's no worries.

Whatever works for you is whatever I want for you to do.
Not everything works for everyone.

What happened to you that changed your self image?

It's a long story but in a nutshell I had a non invasive cosmetic procedure, it looked just like a massage machine so I thought surely that can't do any harm it's just like a massage, unfortunately the esthetician was no trained, turned on the settings too high and it literally started killed fat cells in my body, I just started loosing fat. I lost enormous amounts of fat in my hips, buttocks and thighs and years later it's ongoing. I was a girl that was proud of my body, this sounds like a show off but I really did have a nice shape , which was recognized but everyone.
Now I'm absolutely disgusted to the point that I can't see anyone. It's become a traine to me. I don't leave my house, literally, I can't have people seeing me and the people that used to know me in the past, I've cut all ties with them because I absolutely I'd die of shame when they see the difference,I mean my body they won't recognize and the sad thing is that those people were so important in my life and I miss them so much… I'm so emotional I'm crying.
Omg you asked me a simple question and I went on a rant enough to write a book.
I don't talk about this at all here but I don't know why it just came out today
Thanks for listening I truly appreciate it

 

[Arahant]

It's a long story but in a nutshell I had a non invasive cosmetic procedure, it looked just like a massage machine so I thought surely that can't do any harm it's just like a massage, unfortunately the esthetician was no trained, turned on the settings too high and it literally started killed fat cells in my body, I just started loosing fat. I lost enormous amounts of fat in my hips, buttocks and thighs and years later it's ongoing. I was a girl that was proud of my body, this sounds like a show off but I really did have a nice shape , which was recognized but everyone.
Now I'm absolutely disgusted to the point that I can't see anyone. It's become a traine to me. I don't leave my house, literally, I can't have people seeing me and the people that used to know me in the past, I've cut all ties with them because I absolutely I'd die of shame when they see the difference,I mean my body they won't recognize and the sad thing is that those people were so important in my life and I miss them so much… I'm so emotional I'm crying.
Omg you asked me a simple question and I went on a rant enough to write a book.
I don't talk about this at all here but I don't know why it just came out today
Thanks for listening I truly appreciate it

By all means keep talking and get it out!
This is good. This is a serious issue for you, I know that, but this can be cured.

The phenomenon you experience has been known by plastic surgeons for at least 50 years, if not longer.
There is a book that I would really love for you to read, it's called Psycho-Cybernetics.
It has to be free online somewhere, it was published decades ago by a late author.
Dr Maxwell Maltz who wrote it was a plastic surgeon of the old school, who took his profession very seriously.
He observed some people would have remarkable personality changes from a successful procedure, and some not at all.
He came to understand and utilize the psychology of that, to do his job better, and called it self-image psychology.
The book has stories about people whose lives were turned around by self image change.

You are not crazy.
You are not wrong for feeling the way you do.
It has happened to many before you, and it's perfectly understandable and curable.

Considering the deep impact it had on you, could also be the experience registers as a trauma like PTSD for you.
That can be sorted safely, easily and quickly with something like the Flash technique.

 

[CatLvr]

Please don't ever feek ashamed to share your journey with us. You wrote all that when asked a simple question because you want help. Some of us like @Arahant can have really helpful information. Others of us, like me, can only offer moral support and understanding. We are glad you are here and want to help.

 

[agony1996]

By all means keep talking and get it out!
This is good. This is a serious issue for you, I know that, but this can be cured.

The phenomenon you experience has been known by plastic surgeons for at least 50 years, if not longer.
There is a book that I would really love for you to read, it's called Psycho-Cybernetics.
It has to be free online somewhere, it was published decades ago by a late author.
Dr Maxwell Maltz who wrote it was a plastic surgeon of the old school, who took his profession very seriously.
He observed some people would have remarkable personality changes from a successful procedure, and some not at all.
He came to understand and utilize the psychology of that, to do his job better, and called it self-image psychology.
The book has stories about people whose lives were turned around by self image change.

You are not crazy.
You are not wrong for feeling the way you do.
It has happened to many before you, and it's perfectly understandable and curable.

Considering the deep impact it had on you, could also be the experience registers as a trauma like PTSD for you.
That can be sorted safely, easily and quickly with something like the Flash technique.

You are so sweet thank you for taking the time to try and help me, it means a lot.
Yes it definitely had a huge impact on my self esteem and ultimately my life, I've lost so many things and people that mean so much to me.
As far as the ptsd, I never thought of that but it could very well be buried inside.
Well when I think about my self in the past, memories of the past and people, tge pain hurts so bad that I get into that catatonic-like state, so those are big triggers.
As for the book I wish I could say I'll read it but I don't know if I can focus on reading.
Thank you again you are a kind soul

Please don't ever feek ashamed to share your journey with us. You wrote all that when asked a simple question because you want help. Some of us like @Arahant can have really helpful information. Others of us, like me, can only offer moral support and understanding. We are glad you are here and want to help.

Thank you I'm glad I'm on here it's the only thing that helps a bit, to be able to vent and get emotional support and also give emotional support is somewhat liberating. Thanks again your very kind

 

[Arahant]

You are so sweet thank you for taking the time to try and help me, it means a lot.
Yes it definitely had a huge impact on my self esteem and ultimately my life, I've lost so many things and people that mean so much to me.
As far as the ptsd, I never thought of that but it could very well be buried inside.
Well when I think about my self in the past, memories of the past and people, tge pain hurts so bad that I get into that catatonic-like state, so those are big triggers.
As for the book I wish I could say I'll read it but I don't know if I can focus on reading.
Thank you again you are a kind soul

Thank you I'm glad I'm on here it's the only thing that helps a bit, to be able to vent and get emotional support and also give emotional support is somewhat liberating. Thanks again your very kind

OK, never mind the book if unable to read. Just know what you suffer through makes logical sense.

Try one thing to ease the pain. Just 10 minutes. Use the Flash technique to attempt safe, quick trauma healing:


Some places in the world, EMTs use the Flash technique for newly traumatized people. It plain and simply works, is easy to understand and apply with the video above, and it's free to use.

If you can reduce the pain from say, 9/10 to just 8/10, then you have concrete proof of it being psychological trauma that you can resolve.