Venting Can’t stop drinking/cutting while drunk

[Lo$t95]

I never used to cut myself but the past few months I wake up bleeding after a night of drinking. I always drink to the point of blacking out I don't remember the last 12+ hours of my life. The cuts on my body are getting hard to hide. I don't know what to do about it.

 

[easypeasy]

I never used to cut myself but the past few months I wake up bleeding after a night of drinking. I always drink to the point of blacking out I don't remember the last 12+ hours of my life. The cuts on my body are getting hard to hide. I don't know what to do about it.

Oh my gosh that is rather intense for anybody to go through. Do you black out drunk? How can we help you? Advice? Someone to relate to? What could potentially help you?

 

[Lo$t95]

Oh my gosh that is rather intense for anybody to go through. Do you black out drunk? How can we help you? Advice? Someone to relate to? What could potentially help you?

Always blackout. Woke up again today midday bleeding from my arms and neck. These scars will not heal. I will CTB regardless I am paranoid af. I don't want to be helped I just want to vent. My head is really fucked up. Just tired I am struggling to make it to my date. I want to die on my birthday.

 

[easypeasy]

Always blackout. Woke up again today midday bleeding from my arms and neck. These scars will not heal. I will CTB regardless I am paranoid af. I don't want to be helped I just want to vent. My head is really fucked up. Just tired I am struggling to make it to my date. I want to die on my birthday.

Vent away. Pour it all out. If you ever change your mind and decide you want something more than venting.. and want to feel better, let us know.

 

[Lo$t95]

Vent away. Pour it all out. If you ever change your mind and decide you want something more than venting.. and want to feel better, let us know.

I don't trust myself to make a goodbye thread and the guilt is really fucking me up. I appreciate this website so much but like it makes me paranoid the mods will report me to police or something they have my ip you don't get anonymity on the internet the way I like to you have to show your skin on the way in no vpns or anything. I am scared of the mods.

This website is supposed to be a place to be honest without judgement so please don't report me to anyone.

I will hopefully make a goodbye thread I sincerely apologise if I don't.

Please don't report me.

 

[death_bed221]

I never used to cut myself but the past few months I wake up bleeding after a night of drinking. I always drink to the point of blacking out I don't remember the last 12+ hours of my life. The cuts on my body are getting hard to hide. I don't know what to do about it.

I feel that. I thought I would never cut myself then I started to drink and took some Xanax's and my arm is all fucked up. Cutting is the worst thing u can do. Its the only thing I regret

 

[Lo$t95]

I feel that. I thought I would never cut myself then I started to drink and took some Xanax's and my arm is all fucked up. Cutting is the worst thing u can do. Its the only thing I regret

I kind of like it. I don't know what to tell you like I know it's fucked up and normal people wouldn't like it I tried it somber and it's such a release it's euphoric. I don't remember the first time because I was out of my mind fucked up and I never thought I would like this. Once you start you can't stop but fucking hell when I am drunk I really fuck myself up. I don't know what's wrong with me.

 

[easypeasy]

I don't trust myself to make a goodbye thread and the guilt is really fucking me up. I appreciate this website so much but like it makes me paranoid the mods will report me to police or something they have my ip you don't get anonymity on the internet the way I like to you have to show your skin on the way in no vpns or anything. I am scared of the mods.

This website is supposed to be a place to be honest without judgement so please don't report me to anyone.

I will hopefully make a goodbye thread I sincerely apologise if I don't.

Please don't report me.

I can't be sure, but I'm pretty show people won't report you on here. If you are able to… read the guidelines. But everybody is making similar comments. Stick around and talk to people maybe?

 

[death_bed221]

I kind of like it. I don't know what to tell you like I know it's fucked up and normal people wouldn't like it I tried it somber and it's such a release it's euphoric. I don't remember the first time because I was out of my mind fucked up and I never thought I would like this. Once you start you can't stop but fucking hell when I am drunk I really fuck myself up. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Nothing is wrong with you. This world is wrong. As a human being we all yearn to experience euphoria. "Normal people" will never get it. They get everything they want and then they talk shit about us who literally have to hurt ourselves to feel any relief. They wouldn't survive 5 mins in our skin. I hate them

 

[Lo$t95]

Nothing is wrong with you. This world is wrong. As a human being we all yearn to experience euphoria. "Normal people" will never get it. They get everything they want and then they talk shit about us who literally have to hurt ourselves to feel any relief. They wouldn't survive 5 mins in our skin. I hate them

Yeah relatable fuck I hate life so much

I can't be sure, but I'm pretty show people won't report you on here. If you are able to… read the guidelines. But everybody is making similar comments. Stick around and talk to people maybe?

I am really paranoid sorry I DM'd a mod for closure. The thought of being reported and forced into another hospital scares the shit out of me. I need to die so bad it's unreal.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

Drinking is a depressant, it's a well known fact that anything troubling you that hasn't been dealt with will come out, especially if you're drinking in excessive amounts that your body evidently, can't tolerate.

Best to stop the drinking all together until you sort your head out or at least cut down. Go to your GP, he/she can help you with this or at least point you in the right direction

Evidently shit is going on under the surface and that's the reason why you're drinking so excessively. Don't worry, been there, I wasn't an alcoholic (not saying you are), but I'd wake up and not remember anything that happened and I'd have bruises all over my shins.

I would drink everyday after work like this. It went on for a while. I was very young so I got away with it. No one suspected I was fucked up, I hid it very well. I would do VERY stupid shit when pissed and I'd hurt myself, too. I used to cut anyway, I did it for many, many years. Back then, I was in self destructive mode - therapists called it 'survival'.

In the end, I spoke to a friend (a recovering alcoholic), not thinking I had an issue, I would just mention it in casual conversation. After speaking with said person, almost overnight, something clicked in my head and I stopped completely, and now I hate the taste of alcohol, and I only drink once/twice a year, unless it's to socialise. But now, I don't get suicidal, depressed or anything like that when I drink because I've since dealt with my issues that were causing it. And I don't get excessively pissed, unless socialising and even then, there's no comparison to back then.

This was about a decade ago. I'm now coming up for 36. What I'm saying is, if I can get better, you can too.

I didn't get help for it. I did it myself after speaking with a friend, like I said, but I am aware not everyone is able to do it, some need some extra help and that's ok. You owe it to yourself to try and change something within yourself to get better - you won't lose anything and you could gain absolutely everything

Recovery is absolutely possible - for severe mental health issues, trauma, addiction etc. You have to want it though, and it sounds like you do. It isn't easy though, it is hard, but you can get through it. It gets easier.

If I go back to myself a decade ago, well, I am a COMPLETELY different person, I was kinda nuts back then, but I couldn't cope and I didn't actually realise it at the time. All my issues just came out after some further trauma and that's how it looked.

I wish you the best

 

[Lo$t95]

Drinking is a depressant, it's a well known fact that anything troubling you that hasn't been dealt with will come out, especially if you're drinking in excessive amounts that your body evidently, can't tolerate.

Best to stop the drinking all together until you sort your head out or at least cut down. Go to your GP, he/she can help you with this or at least point you in the right direction

Evidently shit is going on under the surface and that's the reason why you're drinking so excessively. Don't worry, been there, I wasn't an alcoholic (not saying you are), but I'd wake up and not remember anything that happened and I'd have bruises all over my shins.

I would drink everyday after work like this. It went on for a while. I was very young so I got away with it. No one suspected I was fucked up, I hid it very well. I would do VERY stupid shit when pissed and I'd hurt myself, too. I used to cut anyway, I did it for many, many years. Back then, I was in self destructive mode - therapists called it 'survival'.

In the end, I spoke to a friend (a recovering alcoholic), not thinking I had an issue, I would just mention it in casual conversation. After speaking with said person, almost overnight, something clicked in my head and I stopped completely, and now I hate the taste of alcohol, and I only drink once/twice a year, unless it's to socialise. But now, I don't get suicidal, depressed or anything like that when I drink because I've since dealt with my issues that were causing it. And I don't get excessively pissed, unless socialising and even then, there's no comparison to back then.

This was about a decade ago. I'm now coming up for 36. What I'm saying is, if I can get better, you can too.

I didn't get help for it. I did it myself after speaking with a friend, like I said, but I am aware not everyone is able to do it, some need some extra help and that's ok. You owe it to yourself to try and change something within yourself to get better - you won't lose anything and you could gain absolutely everything

Recovery is absolutely possible - for severe mental health issues, trauma, addiction etc. You have to want it though, and it sounds like you do. It isn't easy though, it is hard, but you can get through it. It gets easier.

If I go back to myself a decade ago, well, I am a COMPLETELY different person, I was kinda nuts back then, but I couldn't cope and I didn't actually realise it at the time. All my issues just came out after some further trauma and that's how it looked.

I wish you the best

I can't be/don't want to "helped" I will die. That's it. That's the end of my story. You don't know my life. I don't like your comment it hurts a lot to hear somebody say "if I can you can ###" you are clearly stronger than me. Good for you.


Leave me alone you specifically leave me the fuck alone