Sounds like you punish yourself by running over the what ifs and worst case scenarios in your mind. Identifying why you do this would be beneficial in coming up with a way to remedy it in the long run. My instinct would be to suggest it's based around control. A fear of a lack of control more to the point. I can relate to that though I never suffered with it the way you are.
For me it was always based around serious stuff rather than day to day things such as the example you mention. I mean I would be diligent in covering bases but it was proportionate to the situation. I guess I would just consider myself diligent and thoughtful generally but there would be a natural amount of anxiety as a result and that could be unbearable if the situation met the requirements. From that perspective I can relate to how you're probably feeling.
As you described that it's based around an entertainment event I don't think it's harsh or unfair of me to point out that it is infact disproportionate to the situation for yourself. That is to say the stakes aren't as high as your anxiety dictates. I don't think you'd argue that and hopefully it goes without saying that I mean no offence in identifying that. I dare say you are already painfully aware if it as you wouldn't have identified it in your OP but it's important to establish it in order to move forward.
I'm not a doctor or psychologist so I'm purely spitballing. Therefore don't take what I'm saying as gospel. I'm just offering up an opinion based on my own experience. So, as I said, I think identifying why you do this to yourself is beneficial. Obviously some meds help but honestly I think they're an unhealthy way to do so at times because they encourage you to address the core issue. The root cause. Though I guess, whilst under the influence of mwds you could do so without the impeding anxiety in effect.
So, what am I trying to say? Lol, I'm not entirely sure. I'm saying identify why. That I'm certain of but from there you next move depends on what the root cause is. Ultimately though, if you want to be free of it you need to face it and beat it. Think I may just be stating the obvious here so I'm sorry if I just wrote all that purely to finish by patronising you. I suppose part of me set out writing this post because I feel it is something you can beat and maybe that's something you need to hear. Wish I could offer up something more helpful than that. Something specific. You kind of have to start somewhere though I guess. Are you in treatment for it at all? If so try to find someone that doesn't just sit you on meds without having indepth conversation with you. You need a friend and a physician in one I think. Unfortunately many academics don't possess such great bedside manner but there are good psychologists out there. If you're in a decent position to do so I guess my suggestion is to find one. I hope you manage to tame your demons. It is possible! All the best!
