Venting Can't get past it.

[Lookoutbelow]

I can't get passed the fact that I feel like I need my suicide to have some humor to it. When I feel super depressed suicide feels like such a daunting task. When I am upbeat I feel like I could hop the rail with a smile. The more content I am with life the more appealing CTB becomes. The more anxious and depressed I get the harder it becomes to even bother attempting to CTB because it just feels like another pointless task. Re-cap. Happy/content I want to CTB. Anxious/depressed even CTB feels daunting. Weird? Probably.

 

[cscott]

I can't get passed the fact that I feel like I need my suicide to have some humor to it. When I feel super depressed suicide feels like such a daunting task. When I am upbeat I feel like I could hop the rail with a smile. The more content I am with life the more appealing CTB becomes. The more anxious and depressed I get the harder it becomes to even bother attempting to CTB because it just feels like another pointless task. Re-cap. Happy/content I want to CTB. Anxious/depressed even CTB feels daunting. Weird? Probably.

I have the exact same feeling it's like being content with life and just letting go and dying seems like a peaceful let go but then when u think about how sad it is to go out like how u have to and actually committing the harsh act & how depressing it can feel alone in that moment seems so daunting. I totally feel u