Venting Can’t get my head clear

[Idontmatter]

I seriously can't clear my head. All I can think about is ctb from dusk to dawn. I should be happy because we are in a better place than we used to be. All I can see in the future is struggle, and constant worrying about crap that I don't need to worry about. All I hear in my head is I want to die. I never smile. I wake up in the worst mood because I dread the day. Work is a nightmare. As always sorry- I just had to vent. This is the only place where I won't have someone telling me to "just think positive ". Fuck, I wish it were that easy. If it is was I wouldn't be here sitting and wanting to die. I have no motivation whatsoever. All I do is sit and watch tv when I'm not working. It all just seems hopeless.

 

[The Divine Comedy]

It often feels like we are simply waiting to die. We are in an interstice, belonging neither to the world of the living or the world of the dead.

 

[Idontmatter]

I feel guilty because people are dying of cancer and other terminal diseases and here I am. I get overwhelmed with daily life. I've started my planning because my time alive is going to be ending soon. This way I'm out of everyone's way and no one has to deal with me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Being alive really is horrible. I can relate to dreading the future. Life is just suffering. I want the peace that death brings. I wish you the best with your plans. I hope you find what you are looking for.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

I feel guilty because people are dying of cancer and other terminal diseases and here I am. I get overwhelmed with daily life. I've started my planning because my time alive is going to be ending soon. This way I'm out of everyone's way and no one has to deal with me.

Knowing that other people have it harder and being hard on ourselves for being "weak" and wanting to ctb for "lesser reasons" is something we all think about at some point and is really hard to deal with it.

Best wishes

 

[Idontmatter]

My husband is the only reason why I'm still alive right now. Each day is just getting harder and harder to get out of bed.